Not quite sure what I should do- awful article in magazine

[sparklett]

I don't know if this is the right place to post this, so feel free to move it.

For over a year, I have received a free subscription to a very popular magazine. When it arrives in the mail, I usually just toss it, as it has never has any parenting information that seems to be appropriate for me. Well, yesterday the August edition came in the mail, and I decided to flip through it. I came across an article about the top challenges of being a new mom. Challenge #1 was breastfeeding. It went on to say that breastfeeding doesn't come naturally and to "keep the breast versus bottle debate in perspective" because the "most important thing is that feedings are comfortable for you and your baby". It then goes on to say you should "give yourself the goal of sticking with it for at least a month.....After that, if you're still frustrated, consider switching to formula."

I am aghast, for many reasons. My breastfeeding troubles lasted eight months. If I had given up after a month, I would have missed out on one of the best and most fulfilling experiences of my life. Breastfeeding taught me some of my first lessons about motherhood- that it required patience, perseverance, and dedication. It also showed me that I would have to work for the things that matter to me. The article in this magazine seemed to view BFing as simply a biological form of bottle feeding. If it's "uncomfortable", no big deal- you can formula feed! The article didn't state anything about finding extra help and support....nothing!!

Not only that, this particular magazine is VERY influential, and many of my mainstream friends and family members really follow what they read in this publication. My sister in law is having huge troubles BFing her new baby, and she reads this magazine. If she comes across this article, I think she would view it as her ticket to quit BFing.

The article mentions seeing a LC within the first month, there is nothing that gives ANY sort of help with dealing with BFing difficulties.

I'm not quite sure where I'm going with this. I think perhaps once I settle down a bit, I'll write a letter to the editor, which probably won't be published. It's just so sad to see such a disservice being done to struggling new mothers.

[limabean]

It's okay to post the name of the magazine -- I'm assuming it was either Parents or Parenting? I'm sure lots of us would write letters to the editor too -- maybe they would give our opinion more attention if they heard it from lots of people. That was really irresponsible of them.

[sparklett]

Thanks, I didn't know if it was okay to give the name. You're right- it's Parents magazine.

[Unoppressed MAMA Q]

If it were me, I'd call them and make sure the magazine stopped coming to my home, and tell them why.

I can't get bogged down in their hoo-hah in my house; it makes me despondent and a lousier lactivist.

[sparklett]

Originally Posted by Unoppressed MAMA Q

If it were me, I'd call them and make sure the magazine stopped coming to my home, and tell them why.

I can't get bogged down in their hoo-hah in my house; it makes me despondent and a lousier lactivist.

I have asked to be removed TWICE!!!! It just won't go away!!!!!!!! That's why I usually just trash it.

[littlecityfarmer]

Ack! The more I see of publications like that, the more I Mothering!!I worked for a dr.'s office when I was pregnant with DS, and brought home tons of magazines like the one OP is talking about-- after reading them cover to cover for a month or so, I realized that most of the "articles" are loosely-disguised filler between advertisements. :

Of course they advise giving up on BFing if it is still hard after a month-- count the # of bottle and formula advertisements before and after that "advice". Artificial baby milk is big money and big business. Breastfeeding is (mostly) free (I know there are costs associated with BFing, too, but there isn't the huge big-pharma financing).

OP, can you introduce your friends and family to other sources of information? Gift subscription to another bi-monthly magazine, perhaps?

[zinemama]

I just don't see the point of being worked up over this. It's Parents magazine. This is the kind of thing you expect from Parents magazine. Their revenue comes in large part from formula advertising. Of course they are going to have this advice. It's like being outraged because Fox News praises the Bush administration. What else are they going to do?

[sparklett]

Originally Posted by zinemama

I just don't see the point of being worked up over this. It's Parents magazine. This is the kind of thing you expect from Parents magazine. Their revenue comes in large part from formula advertising. Of course they are going to have this advice. It's like being outraged because Fox News praises the Bush administration. What else are they going to do?

Um.... I tend to choose my battles very carefully, and usually ignore most of the stuff that's out there. Sometimes, however, I think it's okay to question what i read, and not just accept it becuase that's what's expected. Just becuase it's what's expected, doesn't make it right.

[beru]

Originally Posted by sparklett

My breastfeeding troubles lasted eight months. If I had given up after a month, I would have missed out on one of the best and most fulfilling experiences of my life. Breastfeeding taught me some of my first lessons about motherhood- that it required patience, perseverance, and dedication. It also showed me that I would have to work for the things that matter to me. The article in this magazine seemed to view BFing as simply a biological form of bottle feeding. If it's "uncomfortable", no big deal- you can formula feed! The article didn't state anything about finding extra help and support....nothing!!

This would make a wonderful letter to the editor. I would add something about how I am disappointed that they take the nutritional and immunological superiority of breast milk so lightly and also add ideas for sources of support.

[zinemama]

Originally Posted by sparklett

Um.... I tend to choose my battles very carefully, and usually ignore most of the stuff that's out there. Sometimes, however, I think it's okay to question what i read, and not just accept it becuase that's what's expected. Just becuase it's what's expected, doesn't make it right.

Oh, I completely agree about it not being right! I wasn't implying that it was. It's misleading and icky, and of course you should question it. I guess where we disagree is in the choice of battles. As you say, they probably wouldn't print a letter critical of their position, and in fact, they probably think advising women to stick with bf for an entire month despite problems is pretty darn generous.

[Mommal]

Originally Posted by sparklett

I think perhaps once I settle down a bit, I'll write a letter to the editor, which probably won't be published.

That's exactly what you should do. Even if your letter doesn't get published, it will probably be noticed. Hopefully it will inspire the editor to be a little more selective about the quality of the advice they choose to print.

Make sure you take a look at the magazine's letters to the editor page, and see if there's a style of letter that is most likely to be published. Most successful letters to the editor are fairly short, so don't waste your time writing something long and detailed. Go for short and punchy!

[meganmarie]

Originally Posted by zinemama

I just don't see the point of being worked up over this. It's Parents magazine. This is the kind of thing you expect from Parents magazine. Their revenue comes in large part from formula advertising. Of course they are going to have this advice. It's like being outraged because Fox News praises the Bush administration. What else are they going to do?

Disagree completely. Given the topic of this forum, I assume we are all current or aspiring "lactivists". And I don't see how lactivists can promote the goal of normalizing breastfeeding and supporting breastfeeding mothers without challenging mainstream norms and expectations. That means taking the fight to the floor, even in places we know are not bf-friendly - whether that is Parents magazine, the View, Motherhood Maternity, or Applebee's.

There have been a lot of good suggestions for ways to respond: sending a letter to the editor, cancelling a subscription, providing friends and family with gift subscriptions to a much, much better magazine .

I guess I believe that we should all do whatever we have energy and passion to do in the interest of the cause - and if we all sit here and say I can't make a difference by myself, why bother - or, that situation is never going to change, why bother - then its a self-fulfiling prophecy.

[JustJamie]

Originally Posted by sparklett

I am aghast, for many reasons. My breastfeeding troubles lasted eight months. If I had given up after a month, I would have missed out on one of the best and most fulfilling experiences of my life. Breastfeeding taught me some of my first lessons about motherhood- that it required patience, perseverance, and dedication. It also showed me that I would have to work for the things that matter to me. The article in this magazine seemed to view BFing as simply a biological form of bottle feeding. If it's "uncomfortable", no big deal- you can formula feed! The article didn't state anything about finding extra help and support....nothing!!

It's just so sad to see such a disservice being done to struggling new mothers.

I think you've already written the letter you should send to the editor. I'll write one, too. It took me 8 weeks to get comfortable nursing my first daughter.

[mytwogirls]

Oh yeah I just read that awful article yesterday!!!!! I was wondering how long it would take someone to post it here. I already emailed the editor to the rag and told them my opinion. It won't matter to them, but it made ME feel better anyway!

[mytwogirls]

Originally Posted by meganmarie

Disagree completely. Given the topic of this forum, I assume we are all current or aspiring "lactivists". And I don't see how lactivists can promote the goal of normalizing breastfeeding and supporting breastfeeding mothers without challenging mainstream norms and expectations. That means taking the fight to the floor, even in places we know are not bf-friendly - whether that is Parents magazine, the View, Motherhood Maternity, or Applebee's.

There have been a lot of good suggestions for ways to respond: sending a letter to the editor, cancelling a subscription, providing friends and family with gift subscriptions to a much, much better magazine .

I guess I believe that we should all do whatever we have energy and passion to do in the interest of the cause - and if we all sit here and say I can't make a difference by myself, why bother - or, that situation is never going to change, why bother - then its a self-fulfiling prophecy.

WELL SAID MAMA!!!!!!!!!!! : (I love using that smilie by the way!)

[clicksab]

Ok, I hate to be the outsider, but here I go...
I have the offending article right in front of me. And while I don't agree with them saying that if it isn't working in a month, you should consider formula, the statement "The article didn't state anything about finding extra help and support....nothing!!" is just not true.

It tells moms that they should get help from a LC or another mom who has breastfed. It tells moms that having a breastfeeding veteran friend can be helpful for giving you suggestions or even just reassuring you that you're doing things right and it'll get easier with time.
Hello! I couldn't ask for more from them!! Here they are, telling women to seek the aid of other women in the breastfeeding community...and we are bashing them? I've been frustrated with this magazine more than once, even yelled at it and thrown it across the room, but I'm definitely not going to get up in arms over an article that tells breastfeeding moms to get help when they are having a rough go of it. I'm sorry but I agree with the main gist of the article- mainly that breastfeeding often does not come easily and that we should seek help from those who have btdt. And maybe I'm a sucky lactivist but I also agree with them that if you are always tense and frustrated while nursing, it isn't healthy for you or your child!

Let the bashing begin...

[sparklett]

Originally Posted by clicksab

Ok, I hate to be the outsider, but here I go...
I have the offending article right in front of me. And while I don't agree with them saying that if it isn't working in a month, you should consider formula, the statement "The article didn't state anything about finding extra help and support....nothing!!" is just not true.

It tells moms that they should get help from a LC or another mom who has breastfed. It tells moms that having a breastfeeding veteran friend can be helpful for giving you suggestions or even just reassuring you that you're doing things right and it'll get easier with time.
Hello! I couldn't ask for more from them!! Here they are, telling women to seek the aid of other women in the breastfeeding community...and we are bashing them? I've been frustrated with this magazine more than once, even yelled at it and thrown it across the room, but I'm definitely not going to get up in arms over an article that tells breastfeeding moms to get help when they are having a rough go of it. I'm sorry but I agree with the main gist of the article- mainly that breastfeeding often does not come easily and that we should seek help from those who have btdt. And maybe I'm a sucky lactivist but I also agree with them that if you are always tense and frustrated while nursing, it isn't healthy for you or your child!

Let the bashing begin...

Sorry I wasn't clear. I'm being critical because they advocated for quitting instead of seeking additional help. My interpretation was that they were suggesting that yes, you should get help during that first month, but once that month is over, then it's fine to quit. My comment about not mentioning seeking support was connected to their "just quit" attitude. Instead of talking about quitting after one month, I believe they should have said that maybe that's when it's time to call in the professionals or something like that. I had serious issues with my son after a month. When DS was 6 weeks old and our issues still weren't resolved, we started seeing a LC every week, and that's what helped us get through it. Yes, it was very difficult. Yes, there were lots of tears. But in the end, it was all very worth it. I really wish they would communicate THAT instead of saying "consider the bottle".

And I'm not the bashing type. Everyone is entitled to their views. You and I are just interpreting the article differently. No biggie. And you're not a sucky lactavist. We all choose our individual battles.... in this case, you're Switzerland, and I completely respect that.

My SIL read the article today, and she interpreted as I did. When I talked to her today, we actually discussed the article and SHE said "see, lots of people have this problem and some people just can't do it! I saw a LC, I've talked to friends, and I just can't do it. We tried for a month, and I'm done". Her son is a month old today. I honestly think she wouldn't feel so strongly if she didn't read that stupid article, which completely (and erroneously) validated her feelings. She's got issues, but they CAN be fixed. Tomorrow I'm dragging her to a LLL meeting.

[rupiezum]

Originally Posted by Mommal

That's exactly what you should do. Even if your letter doesn't get published, it will probably be noticed. Hopefully it will inspire the editor to be a little more selective about the quality of the advice they choose to print.

Make sure you take a look at the magazine's letters to the editor page, and see if there's a style of letter that is most likely to be published. Most successful letters to the editor are fairly short, so don't waste your time writing something long and detailed. Go for short and punchy!

I totally agree with this. Yeah, your letter may not be published, but it is getting read. And if enough people say, even though they won't publish this I'm writing a letter anyway, then hey, they may just publish one of them!

[mytwogirls]

Wrote my letter (AGAIN, this time revised!) this morning.