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my own child *should* be a lactivist, but...  

post #1 of 15
7/15/08 at 3:06pm
Thread Starter 
You'd think my own child, who self-weaned on her third birthday, has been to three area LLL conferences and one LLLI conference, and who has attended probably 30some LLL meetings and has watched me nurse her baby sister, would be a bit more of a lactivist than this...

She said, "Just give her a pacifier," when the baby kept popping on and off the breast. She also said, "If babies have trouble nursing, they can have bottles." She has also commented on how her own baby doll was "having trouble" and so she was giving it a bottle... an imaginary one, I guess.

It's like the bottlefeeding culture has brainwashed her!!! What gives??

Her aunt once told her that the reason she gives her baby bottles is because he had trouble nursing... grrr. Thanks a lot.

Or is this just because she's become the most stubborn, disagreeable 3 yo ever and just wants to argue with anything I say or do?
post #2 of 15
7/15/08 at 3:17pm
Mine is 34 months and she's suddenly obsessed with bottles (of which she's had none).

She apparently has seen a few bottles in media, and learned that babies = bottles. Right now she's in a stage where she like to pretend she's a baby, and she'll fake-cry and call for a bottle.

So, I guess kids get brainwashed just like the rest of us.
post #3 of 15
7/15/08 at 3:18pm
The forbidden fruit is more interesting sometimes. If you nursed her until 3 she will probably remember it and want to bf her kids. 3 is a difficult age. They seem so big and smart but there is still so much they don't understand...
post #4 of 15
7/15/08 at 3:22pm
My two year old points to my breasts and says "Sissy's ba ba" It freaked me out at first, but now it is ok I guess. I still correct her and say "Yes, those are Sissy's milkies or Sissy's boobies" My two year old just looks at me like I am crazy and then walks away. *Sigh*
post #5 of 15
7/15/08 at 3:55pm
She is only three I don't think she is doomed quite yet.
post #6 of 15
7/15/08 at 6:59pm
My three year old who never had a bottle, didn't even know what one was actually til a person told him to suck on a weird sippy bottle "like it was a baby bottle" went through a period then of giving his babies bottles. He got over it and is happily nursing them again at 3.5
post #7 of 15
7/16/08 at 2:55pm
Oh too funny. My 3yo has recently gone through a giving her babies "bottles of formula" stage. My 1yo niece is bottle fed (formula) and we watch her occasionally. Also at one of our playgroup meeting spots, there are babydolls with bottles.

Yeah, this is my 38m DD1 who never took a bottle, and currently tandems with DD2 (13m), who attends monthly LLL mtgs, not to mention conferences and picnics, since she was a little little one... And I'm a LLLLeader for goodness sakes.

I just try to be non-chalant. "Oh really?" or "Hmmm." One time she was being particularly insistent on engaging me in conversation about it so I said, "Some babies do take bottles of formula. Other babies take bottles of their own mama's pumped milk." (She's seen me pump when A took an 18hr nursing strike.) She thought that was pretty cool so she started giving her baby pumped milk in the toy she was pretending was a bottle. I also told her that some babies take milk in bottles when mama is away, but nurses when mama is there. Then she took her baby over to her dad and told him to feed the baby pumped milk and she'd be back to nurse the baby later.

At one point during that whole exchange, she also told her dad to feed her sister a bottle of formula. Dave very matter-of-factly replied, 'I don't think so. Aev drinks milk from mom..."

I think she was just trying to push my buttons and test my reaction.

We're back to exclusive babydoll nursing over here. But, I know at the next playgroup at that particular location with the dolls and bottles that she'll be entranced with bottle feeding for awhile again. You know, baby gear is alluring to toddlers and preschoolers, too.
post #8 of 15
7/16/08 at 3:09pm
Mine did the same thing! Sadly, it was as recent as last year, during my pregnancy! I nursed ds1 till 12mo and dd till 2y 9m, so I was also kind of sad when they perceived that babies get bottles.

HOWEVER, when I probed them for info, it was because I was working at a child care facility during the early part of my pregnancy and all they saw was bottle feeding.

So now we have the baby who has been nursing solidly since birth (8 mos and going strong!) and I think it will remind them what boobs are for.
post #9 of 15
7/16/08 at 6:01pm
oh man. kids are so psychic. i didn't even mention this thread or anything to DD nor to DH or anyone else out loud. and... DD is back to giving her baby formula in a bottle. today, she told me that she didn't have big enough boobs to make milk, so her baby needed formula. i told her that since her baby was pretend, she could give her baby pretend milk from her boobs. i also told her that woman of all breast sizes can make milk. she insisted that she didn't make any, pretend or otherwise. *shrug* and then she asked if she could nurse. later she was nursing her baby again.

gotta love three year olds!!
post #10 of 15
7/16/08 at 6:07pm
My 12yo DS is quite the lactivist. He rolls his eyes and says "she's just feeding him" at his cousin who says "eww" and hides whenever I'm at my sister's house and nursing. He has no problems running and getting my breast pump for me while I'm at work(for some reason, I keep forgetting the pump, or the handle for it at home). DS even calls me "the food source" to his brother when talking to him in baby talk(hey..from a 12yo, it's quite comical)

6yo DS, well his version of lactivism is to ask me "how's that milk from your boob today mom?"
post #11 of 15
7/16/08 at 11:15pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by menomena View Post
oh man. kids are so psychic. i didn't even mention this thread or anything to DD nor to DH or anyone else out loud. and... DD is back to giving her baby formula in a bottle. today, she told me that she didn't have big enough boobs to make milk, so her baby needed formula. i told her that since her baby was pretend, she could give her baby pretend milk from her boobs. i also told her that woman of all breast sizes can make milk. she insisted that she didn't make any, pretend or otherwise. *shrug* and then she asked if she could nurse. later she was nursing her baby again.

gotta love three year olds!!
This sounds just like my dd... I also think she does it to push my buttons! Except my dd doesn't know what formula is yet... she probably thinks all baby bottles have expressed milk in them.
post #12 of 15
7/16/08 at 11:41pm

my own little happy lacitivism story to add...

my mom came over with my little brother and I was just about ready to nurse DS and was totally naked from the waist up. DH freaked out a little (my brother is 7) and was like, "wait, she's half naked! her boobs are hanging out!" Taylor walked in the bedroom anyway and said, "they're just boobs. I've seen them before. Mommy has them, too... and that's how the baby gets food. DUH! didn't you know that?"

DH just looked at me...
post #13 of 15
7/17/08 at 1:35am
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamapixie View Post
My 12yo DS is quite the lactivist. He rolls his eyes and says "she's just feeding him" at his cousin who says "eww" and hides whenever I'm at my sister's house and nursing. He has no problems running and getting my breast pump for me while I'm at work(for some reason, I keep forgetting the pump, or the handle for it at home). DS even calls me "the food source" to his brother when talking to him in baby talk(hey..from a 12yo, it's quite comical)

6yo DS, well his version of lactivism is to ask me "how's that milk from your boob today mom?"
too funny!
post #14 of 15
7/17/08 at 9:05pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamapixie View Post
My 12yo DS is quite the lactivist. He rolls his eyes and says "she's just feeding him" at his cousin who says "eww" and hides whenever I'm at my sister's house and nursing. He has no problems running and getting my breast pump for me while I'm at work(for some reason, I keep forgetting the pump, or the handle for it at home). DS even calls me "the food source" to his brother when talking to him in baby talk(hey..from a 12yo, it's quite comical)

6yo DS, well his version of lactivism is to ask me "how's that milk from your boob today mom?"
That's so funny. THe 5 year old I nanny for asked me the other day, "how come you can't see the milk ever?"
post #15 of 15
7/18/08 at 2:55am
My DD had a bottle-feeing her babies phase a few months back. When we talked about it, she told me that babies do not eat the same thing older kids do, that they need special stuff. She heard that in daycare because there was a baby who did not drink cow milk like the older kids. I told her that babies drink breastmilk just like she does and has been doing since she was born. She could not understand why people would have told her that babies drink a different milk. A few weeks later, she asked her friend about it and realized that her friends her age (4) do not nurse. She was truly shocked. The thought of not nursing forever had never occured to her before.

I think that a few strategic questions can make it very easy to nip the formula ideology in the bud.
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