SAHP's Using Public Assistance - Page 15

[Purple Cat]

Hi,
I'm new to this post. I receive disability because I was seriously ill several years back -- to the point my application was approved on the first application.

I'm amazed at the antagonism I encounter from some "friends" when I am able to get something for my life, usually through being very resourceful. I even had someone tell me that "people" might resent that you get therapies for your preemie twins through Early Intervention because "other people" just go without if they cannot pay for it.

I've also had someone respond, a "friend," how I had been very seriously ill, near death, and was not able to work and received disability. Her response? "Oh, so you live off taxpayers."

I negotiate a lot for my children. I'll call about a class, explain we are on a very tight budget, and offer to place them in an undersubscribed class if they can give us a really good deal. I also freecycle, freecycle, freecycle.

Purple Cat

[mammal_mama]

I'm glad you're here, Purple Cat! I'm sorry some of your friends are being rude and uncompassionate!

[transformed]

it is amazing to me how ashamed people look in the office where we go to get wic. And its weird, the clerks seem like we are supposed to feel ashamed.

I don't feel ashamed!

And I am not going to. I am a taxpayer too!

How come you have to be enlisted in the military to get gov't assistance without being ashamed?

(Wow, I said ashamed alot in this post. )

[CarsonBookworm]

I don't feel ashamed either.

[That Is Nice]

I don't think there is anything to be ashamed of. I think you use it when you need it, and feel good.

There's no shame, unless there's misuse or manipulation of the system.

I've visited WIC offices, and I didn't feel like people felt ashamed. I was happy to see that.

[That Is Nice]

Originally Posted by transformed

it is amazing to me how ashamed people look in the office where we go to get wic. And its weird, the clerks seem like we are supposed to feel ashamed.

I don't feel ashamed!

And I am not going to. I am a taxpayer too!

How come you have to be enlisted in the military to get gov't assistance without being ashamed?

(Wow, I said ashamed alot in this post. )

Do you mean military families who receive public assistance, or military members who draw a salary? Neither should feel ashamed, unless they did something to break the rules, either in the military or misusing public assistance.

Military members on public assistance are no different than others on public assistance. There shouldn't be more or less shame. There shouldn't be any shame.

[aihcalappa]

I hope it's ok that I join. I work very part time, and we are on medicaid, food stamps, and WIC.
Intelectually, I see no reason to be ashmed of being on public assistance, but it's harder to feel that when I am in the grocery checkout using my WIC checks.
Hugs to all you mamas. Hold your heads high!

[mammal_mama]

Originally Posted by appalachia

I hope it's ok that I join. I work very part time, and we are on medicaid, food stamps, and WIC.
Intelectually, I see no reason to be ashmed of being on public assistance, but it's harder to feel that when I am in the grocery checkout using my WIC checks.
Hugs to all you mamas. Hold your heads high!

Of course we're thrilled to have you join!

I've never been treated badly in the WIC office, or using my vouchers in the grocery store. Could that be one perk of living in the inner-city, where so many are in the same boat?

I'm just curious if there's more of a stigma if you get assistance while living in a predominantly-wealthier neighborhood? If so, then that's really sad! We'd need the help even more if we lived in the suburbs, where house-payments tend to be about double what we pay here!

[That Is Nice]

Originally Posted by mammal_mama

Of course we're thrilled to have you join!

I've never been treated badly in the WIC office, or using my vouchers in the grocery store. Could that be one perk of living in the inner-city, where so many are in the same boat?

I'm just curious if there's more of a stigma if you get assistance while living in a predominantly-wealthier neighborhood? If so, then that's really sad! We'd need the help even more if we lived in the suburbs, where house-payments tend to be about double what we pay here!

I think there is a stigma when you're dealing with, well, ignorant or close-minded people, or those who live in a very homogenous area, or those who don't understand economics, or those who aren't very compassionate.



As a child, I grew up in a family that was always on welfare. Kids at school made fun of me non-stop and were very cruel. I lived in a very homogenous area, where there wasn't a lot of economic diversity.

Anyway, I think people who've never been hungry don't fully understand. It's unfortunate but there are a lot of people who don't understand until they've walked a mile in your shoes.

Some people still think the homeless choose to be homeless, you know?



Whenever I'm at the grocery store and see a woman with children using food stamps, I am always sure I smile, make eye contact and say hello. Everybody is human, and compassion goes a long way.

[BeccaSue1029]

Can I join, too? We have medicaid for the kids (and me for my pregnancy), food stamps, and WIC. DH works very hard, and I'm not ashamed to ask for help!

[happyhats]

Hmm, in my area it seems that WIC is one of the least looked down on assistance programs. Maybe this is because so many people use it, or at least qualify for it? Maybe it also has to do with them knowing you must have a child or be pregnant, and it makes assistance more palatable.

Actually for the most part I must say that I've had little or no rude reactions from cashiers and the like using food stamps or WIC, although some people get very picky about the vouchers (but I think this is because they put the fear of GOD in you to fill them out right, at leas when I was a cashier). The WIC office staff is very friendly in my area, but it's hit or miss when it comes to the food stamp/medicaid office.

[mammal_mama]

Originally Posted by That Is Nice

As a child, I grew up in a family that was always on welfare. Kids at school made fun of me non-stop and were very cruel. I lived in a very homogenous area, where there wasn't a lot of economic diversity.

Anyway, I think people who've never been hungry don't fully understand. It's unfortunate but there are a lot of people who don't understand until they've walked a mile in your shoes.

I'm so sorry you went through that!

[mammal_mama]

Originally Posted by BeccaSue1029

Can I join, too? We have medicaid for the kids (and me for my pregnancy), food stamps, and WIC. DH works very hard, and I'm not ashamed to ask for help!

Yes, please join!

[happyhats]

I'm happy to say that with the help of public assistance my husband and I are doing well lately. The increase in food stamps puts a little extra money in our pockets...it may not line us with green but it gives us the ability to relax with a movie or whatnot every now and then. Thanks to budgeting, we can meet our needs and continue on the path we think is best for us. Hubs will be able to take some time away from work to persue his internships and schooling, and I will be able to raise our daughter as a sahm. I know that a lot of people may think that we should not make these kinds of decisions if we cannot support ourselves. We have thought long and hard about what works for our future and how to obtain it and this seems best. We would continue to struggle for a lifetime if my husband could not pursue his education and only worked dead end jobs. There would be no way to ever say money to go to school without aid. So someday my husband will be able to be a doctor, and I'm sure that he will not forget the poverty he endured in his past and will that much more compassionate and a better advocate for it. My daughter will have good memories of home, and hopefully a better life because of the memories I have a chance to make with her. For this I am grateful to the public assistance programs out there, and I don't feel shame in their usage.

[hellyaellen]

Originally Posted by ShwarmaQueen

This is important. I think it is the visible abuse of public assistance that creates the negativity and guilt associated with taking public assistance. For example, a woman on Medicaid w/ foodstamps & Tanif who drives a brandnew SUV, while I have an old junker. We don't take public assistance, and b/c, yes, I'm too stuborn -I would love to be SAHM but I have a sour taste in my mouth and won't. I just don't feel like we could live happily on less than $40K a year.

But people should take it who need it- that's what it's there for. I wish we were more like Canada and Europe.

thing is though, just seeing the vehicle, it could be borrowed, or a gift from parents, or any number of reasons for poor folks like us to drive nice cars

i often borrow my moms nice car but i still qualify for foodstamps and medicaid for the kids

[That Is Nice]

Self-editing.

[janerose]

Originally Posted by heidirk

Just popping in to say 'hi' and bump the thread so I can find it again.


We're still waiting to hear from medicaid, and the baby could come any day. I'm just trying not to think about it, I have too much else on my plate right now.


Fascinating discussion by the way.

Hey, havn't caught up on all the posts yet, so sorry if this has been mentioned, but FYI Medicaid will backdate 3 months from the birth. For yourself and for the baby. I used to work in medical billing, so I actually know what I'm talking about.

[mammal_mama]

Originally Posted by That Is Nice

I know this because when I was a child, I saw a lot of manipulation of the welfare system. Even as a child, I didn't think it was right.

I don't want to discount your personal experience. I'm sure there probably are a few who manipulate the system -- not just welfare-users, but people at the more-lucrative end of the spectrum as well. If what you mainly saw was manipulation, I can see how that might make you see it as quite prevalent.

But I honestly don't believe anyone in this thread is "working the system." And I maintain that it's up to the individual and family to determine the extent to which it's appropriate for them to utilize public assistance programs. It's not up to someone else to say that it's too long, or that it's turning into more of a "lifestyle," rather than just being a leg-up in a crisis.

There are guidelines in place to minimize abuse of the system -- and I just think that other people who happen to notice various things about the lifestyles of families getting benefits, really don't know all the details and are in no position to be judging these families.

[mammal_mama]

happyhats, I wish more doctors had the experience of living on public assistance themselves! I think they'd be more likely to never refuse to see Medicaid patients, and they'd also be less likely to look down on families that don't pay for their own health insurance.

[That Is Nice]

Self-editing.