SAHP's Using Public Assistance - Page 3

[happyhats]

thanks for the congrats!
and thanks for the link to lifeline. I have a feeling my town won't provide it, as the company has a total monopoly on phone lines here, but I may be able to use it for a cell phone, which would be great and then I'd just drop the landline as it would add up to be cheaper. I've been thinking of at least getting a prepaid phone in a few months in case hubby isn't home when I go into labor.

[Ruthla]

Originally Posted by Satori

Its called Lifeline, there's 2 plans, a metered and a non metered, one is like $5 and the other is like $7. I went for the un metered cause in the end I felt it would be cheaper. Its actually a federal program in the lower 48 states http://www.lifeline.gov/lifeline_Consumers.html

I didn't know there were two plans! I have the cheaper one but then I'm paying extra per month for the calls the girls make. I need to look into switching plans.

[mammal_mama]

Originally Posted by damona

mammal_mama, i'm sorry for your loss. no matter how poor, how young, how old, how unplanned... it still hurts.

Thanks!

[mammal_mama]

Originally Posted by Satori

I know what you guys mean, I was at kmart and had a coupon plus the sale price and darn it I wanted some Trix, yeah those pure sugar and nothing but artificial flavors and colors cereal. Pure crap, I spent $2 of FS on that box and you should have seen the look on the lady behind me's face. I buy a box about once a year, its a treat for me. My mother has a cow if I so much as buy a packet of kool aid (I use it to dye play silks) becasue I'm on FS I don't deserve to buy junk

Yeah, there's this intrusive public consensus among some folks, that makes people feel justified in scrutinizing our spending-choices. It's as if we gave up our right to privacy by applying for help.

But just because they feel that way, that doesn't make it true.

[FancyD]

Originally Posted by ShwarmaQueen

This is important. I think it is the visible abuse of public assistance that creates the negativity and guilt associated with taking public assistance. For example, a woman on Medicaid w/ foodstamps & Tanif who drives a brandnew SUV, while I have an old junker. We don't take public assistance, and b/c, yes, I'm too stuborn -I would love to be SAHM but I have a sour taste in my mouth and won't. I just don't feel like we could live happily on less than $40K a year.

But people should take it who need it- that's what it's there for. I wish we were more like Canada and Europe.

I'm at Canadian SAHM, and my son is disabled. I really do love the Canadian system, overall. It's got it's issues, for sure, but we get our needs cared for, and there are tons of programs in place to 'leap over the welfare wall'. Bursaries and low interest loans for schooling, and welfare here lets you keep the first $200 you make, plus 25% of the rest. It is like a job, though. Lots of in-person meetings, and there's a steep learning curve to the system, but once you figure it out, it's a blessing.

I feel for the people who are cowed by the system, and those for whom English is a second language. It's really key to learn the vocabulary that the social assistance bureaucracy uses. I have found that very little information is volunteered.

As to the bolded, how common is that? Or do you mean the public perception of that situation is common i.e. welfare queen myths?

[mammal_mama]

Welcome, FancyD!

Originally Posted by FancyD

As to the bolded, how common is that? Or do you mean the public perception of that situation is common i.e. welfare queen myths?

I think the poster you quoted, was essentially objecting to the right of someone on public assistance to have anything nicer than what she herself has, since she followed that part of her post with the comment, "while I have an old junker."

I don't think this poster was exactly joining our tribe -- and of course you don't have to join a tribe to make comments on a tribal thread. Everyone has a right to comment here -- and of course everyone has a right to comment on everyone else's comments. Which is the right I'm exercising here.

[FancyD]

I see. Well, I don't see people in fancy cars on social assistance here. They don't make you sell your car, though, so if you came on hard times pretty quickly, I can see that someone might have a nice vehicle and be on assistance. Anyway, I very much doubt it's a common scenario, and something of red herring in welfare discussions.

[mammal_mama]

Originally Posted by FancyD

I see. Well, I don't see people in fancy cars on social assistance here.

Oh. Well, I don't see people in fancy cars that are totally paid for on public assistance here, either. Some people may do like dh and I did, and get themselves into a bind by thinking it would be more "economical" to go into debt for a newer car, than to continue paying cash for older cars that need lots of repairs.

They don't make you sell your car, though, so if you came on hard times pretty quickly, I can see that someone might have a nice vehicle and be on assistance.

And anyone who's ever got themselves into a bind like this, knows how hard (and illegal) it is to find someone else willing to take over the payments. The only way to get out of such a bind (legally) is to quit making the payments and let them come repossess the car -- which isn't exactly legal, though it's less-illegal than trying to transfer the title to someone else.

But it ruins your credit. And you'll usually end up owing quite a sum of money as a penalty -- and still be needing a vehicle for your husband to get to and from work, if that's your reason for needing the car (which it is for us).

Anyway, I very much doubt it's a common scenario, and something of red herring in welfare discussions.

These scenarios seem fairly common here, though they usually culminate in the car getting repossessed, which we'd rather avoid if we can.

To my way of thinking, there's something wrong with people who get all bent out of shape if someone on public assistance has something nice. It's like they're saying we're coasting along while they slave and sweat to support us.

And it's like they're saying they're entitled to critique our purchases. I say they need to give up their sense of entitlement! It's highly unattractive.

[heidirk]

I have to say, we did have to take out a loan for my car, but finally 'praise the Lord' it's payed off. DH's car went on a credit card! : But really, if you looked at our family and saw the *two red cars, *overweight pregnant woman (me, because if you're poor aren't you also supposed to be malnourished?), *heirloom silver jewelry- that doesn't really have any value to anyone but me, *etc. *etc. *etc, ad nauseum. . .maybe you could think we don't really need help.

Really what we're fighting is our own pride. It's hard to look at myself and look at all the wealth I accumulated while things were fat and happy, and justify needing WIC and the Food Bank to feed myfamily. But all the things I have will never pay the bills, and if I sold everything I own, I would still have nothing to show for it.

Forgive the long rambling post, I was going somewhere with all that. . .

[mammal_mama]

heidirk, Your post makes perfect sense to me.

[heidirk]

I'm glad! At least I have my now!



On a positive note, I may be able to sell some hand crafts at a local whole foods store, provided I can find the time to create them!

[damona]

Originally Posted by heidirk

But all the things I have will never pay the bills, and if I sold everything I own, I would still have nothing to show for it.

heidikirk, you are so right. we have so much "stuff" in this house, clothes, toys, 2 trucks, a ps2... but honestly, selling off everything would really get me very little. the trucks are old, the clothes are not name brand, the toys get broken.... sometimes i feel like i don't "deserve" public asisstance because we sure don't lack for stuff. but stuff doesn't feed you or pay rent.

[FancyD]

DS has a LOT of toys, they were gifts. As were his clothes, which are quite nice. The house I live in now is a cute 80-year old house in a nice neighbourhood. From the outside, it looks like I'm doing well, but the rent is cheap because the gas to heat it is outrageous. It's cold seven months out of the year, yo.

And there are junkies next door.

[happyhats]

The fact is that so many people are only a paycheck or two from being in a position where they need assistance. Now it's true that I've made mistakes that have added up to debts. It's true that my husband and I could have saved more money, etc. But it isn't like we knew the future either. In our situation we had been very broke/pretty much homeless for a long time before moving to where we are now and getting on track. I think that the extra money was like the lotto, and we definitely did spend more than we should have. But he had a very good job, he was about to get very good benefits, etc...and then the rug go torn out from under us. I don't think it's fair to villanize a person for making mistakes, especially when most people are in crazy amounts of debt whether they qualify for assistance or not.

I'm lucky to live in an area thats not very judgemental. There is a high amount of people in a similar situation as us. We may be judged more harshly if hubby is able to quit or work less hours as we're hoping though. I feel it's justifiable as he has so many hours he has to put into schooling and internships, but I can see how others may think we're slacking, etc. (although grants/loans count toward your income, so it's not as if we're lying to recieve more money or anything).

I'm sure there are people that are "abusing the system", but that's defenitely the minority. And I definitely don't see them as living the high life, considering that they don't get a hell of a lot of free money after they pay their bills every month. At least not the few people I've known/seen. I think of these people more as in a rut than in thinking they've got it made.

[simple life]

On the note of selling stuff. We did that. All it got us was a few paid bills (which could have waited) and fast food (we don't really have a kitchen at the moment - long, long, long story - so cooking can be tedious and not at all enjoyable, but we have kicked that habit, thank goodness!).

So yes, I agree, we didn't get much out of it.

As for feeling guilty for having 'stuff'. My parents just bought my son three little tykes things at yard sales. I feel like everyone is wondering how we afforded to buy those things in our yard!

Lately it has been coming to me in many ways that you can't really just make assumptions about people. Maybe that nice car was a gift? Maybe the husband lost his job? You just don't know the real, whole story until you ask. Seeing the world in a more positive light is hard, but sure a lot less stressful and angering!

Julie

[mammal_mama]

Originally Posted by simple life

Lately it has been coming to me in many ways that you can't really just make assumptions about people. Maybe that nice car was a gift? Maybe the husband lost his job? You just don't know the real, whole story until you ask. Seeing the world in a more positive light is hard, but sure a lot less stressful and angering!

Yes, and the lady the pp saw driving the brand new SUV -- you know, maybe a friend or relative just let her borrow it so she could do her shopping?

If we're giving others on public assistance a bad name, every time someone sees us use our WIC vouchers and then load our groceries into our nice minivan -- does that mean we should walk, in this hot weather with our kids, whenever we're going to be using the vouchers, just to protect the good name of all our fellow WIC-users? Or spend money we don't have to buy and maintain an old junker, just to use for WIC-days?

It can get a little ridiculous, this concern that others might think we're committing "visible abuse of public assistance." Wouldn't most people think I was dumb to walk with my kids in the heat to the store, or drive them in an old junker, when we have a perfectly good air-conditioned minivan sitting in the driveway?

[Satori]

Originally Posted by mammal_mama

Yes, and the lady the pp saw driving the brand new SUV -- you know, maybe a friend or relative just let her borrow it so she could do her shopping?

That will be me soon, I'm going to have to tell the bank to come get the car. Its cheaper to rent one when we need it for Dr appts (cause the cost is reimbursed) and just do major shopping trips for groceries when we have the car to get us though most of the month which is what we do anyway. So yes you may well see someone driving a brand new car going to WIC or using food stamps. My car is costing just over $300 mo between payment/gas/insurance and I barely use it anymore becasue of gas prices. I'm tired of the stress and the car needs new tires, brakes, 100,000 mile tune up and I don't even know what that death rattle is (they said its a lose bracket and would only tighten it if I forked over $20) plus an oil change. So a couple $$$ in work easy, just can't afford it. My moms gonna have a cow but I don't think she can grasp the fact that I can't afford it. I think not having the car is actually going to be a relief once I have a bike I can ride to get us around

fwiw, I had a job when I got the car 4 years ago.

[mammal_mama]

Satori, I totally understand.

[Ruthla]

I've seen people at the WIC office with $500 strollers and/or designer clothes. I figure that either these items were gifts (don't you love how people will gift you with overpriced luxury items but not with essentials like grocery money?) or they were purchased before a change in fortune that resulted in WIC eligability. Why spend money you don't have at the thrift store when you have a closet full of designer clothes that fit?

[mammal_mama]

Originally Posted by Ruthla

Why spend money you don't have at the thrift store when you have a closet full of designer clothes that fit?

Exactly! How silly to think we should do that, just so someone who sees us using our WIC vouchers or EBT card, doesn't work herself into a resentful tizzy because we have a nicer coat, shoes, or whatever than she does?