My head is going to explode.

[Livviesmom0207]

Everyone in my office knows I'm still nursing DD and I'm proud that they know it. The only reason they're "up in my bidness" like that really, is because NOBODY here takes an hour for lunch and it was a condition of my accepting employment that I have an hour to go home to nurse DD.

Anyway, there is one woman, she's about 77. She nursed her children and thinks that people should definitely nurse for "about a year". She's mentioned a few times recently that she thinks I should "stop doing that now", because DD is 17.5 months old.

This morning, she says to me "Oh yeah, I read an article that says that breastfeeding as long as you are isn't good for them because they don't mature or learn to be independent. It also says you should NEVER let them sleep in your bed".

I was like, "That's BS." Her response was that she believed it because....get ready for it....




AN OB WROTE IT. GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! LOL

I had to share. I ended the conversation there.

[MeepyCat]

Oh my. I'd have hit the roof.

What the hell does an OB know about co-sleeping and extended BF anyway? My OB won't even *see* women who aren't currently pregnant or less than 6 months post-partum. Their office has only seen pictures of my child.

I'm not sure I would have had enough restraint to just end the conversation.

[Livviesmom0207]

Originally Posted by MeepyCat

I'm not sure I would have had enough restraint to just end the conversation.

I choose my battles. I'm not going to change her mind (she's 77, LOL) and since I work in an office of 12 I'd rather NOT argue with her about it, kwim?

[Caden's Mom]

Maybe you could find an article about all people over 70 should be put in nursing homes written by a pediatrician and give it to her.

I'm sure there isn't one, but it would be poetic justice.

[Livviesmom0207]

I'm wishing I wasn't so nice earlier.

I won tickets to a concert that I want to go to but DH isn't psyched about. I was mentioning how I was just going to sell them. She asked why I don't just go with a friend (a logical question).

I told her that DD doesn't do well at night without Mama yet. She gets hysterical very quickly and I don't want to put her OR DH through that kind of avoidable trauma, since the concert is an hour away.

I'm not upset about the concert, btw...

Anyway, she said "what would you do if you were in the hospital for a month" and I said "I'm pretty sure that my local hospital would let my hubby stay with baby overnight if necessary (which they would)". Her response? "I think you need to do some serious re-training right away. It would be good for BOTH of them to learn how to deal with you not being around once in a while".

A. They do just fine, thank you, during the day if I go somewhere. Nighttime is different and she still needs me. That's ok.
B. How is going to a concert and potentially being in the hospital the same situation?

I want to punch an old lady, Mamas.

[menomena]

Mention the words "hostile work environment" to your supervisor and see if you can't get this lady to shut it (i.e. her ignorance) up. hugs mama.

For dealing directly with this woman, you could try just saying "I don't want to talk about his with you." You don't have to be nasty about it, just mater-of-fact. "I am not interested in discussing my private life with you."

[marisa724]

I know you're angry but I had to at your last line.

As for the nursing, you should show her the AAP statement that breastfeeding should continue as long as mutually desired, and that there's no harm to the child from nursing past infancy. LOTS of doctors wrote that one.

[Livviesmom0207]

When I felt myself getting heated up I just said "You're entitled to your opinion.".

I really don't want to waste my energy being pissy at an old lady.

[bandgeek]

Try to just block her out or tell her to mind her own business. She doesn't know what she's talking about. I'm assuming this is your first child? Lots of people think when you have your first you don't have a clue what you are doing. And so they feel like they are doing you a favor by "setting you straight". She thinks children need to be "trained" and obviously that is not so or all the MDC moms with older kids would be making plans to stay in their dorm rooms when they go off to college!

My DS was the same way. He was 18 months before I could even leave him with DH for an hour during the day! By 2, I could leave him with DH or either of his grandmas for up to 5-6 hours. He's 3 1/2 now and he can stay overnight with DH if I have to be away. He *just* got to this point. I'm sure in a year or so, he'll be able to stay at grandma's overnight without a fuss too.

My point is, he went from being a super-clingy toddler, to *gradually* doing well without me. And he's only 3 1/2! He's still a baby in a lot of ways! I don't "train" my children and I never will. He's a normal child who went through a gradual process to feel completely comfortable with other people. If she's only ever been around people who have trained their kids, she doesn't know that it can be easy, painless, and tear-free. Yes it takes a little longer, but it is SO worth it to know I wasn't cruel to my child just for the sake of an everning out once in a while.

Honestly, I wouldn't even try to explain myself. And if she keeps up, I'd report her to management.

[honeybunch2k8]

Originally Posted by MeepyCat

Oh my. I'd have hit the roof.

What the hell does an OB know about co-sleeping and extended BF anyway? My OB won't even *see* women who aren't currently pregnant or less than 6 months post-partum. Their office has only seen pictures of my child.

I'm not sure I would have had enough restraint to just end the conversation.

Good question...Is the ob moonlighting as an child psychologist? Or perhaps the OB moonlights as an anthropologist and can tell us all about the perils of co-sleeping and extended BF although it's been the norm most places and even here until recently???

*sorry for the sarcasm*

[Livviesmom0207]

O.M.F.G.

I didn't go home at lunchtime today because I have a dr. appt for an ongoing problem.

This just transpired:
OLD WOMAN: "What happens if you don't go home and nurse?".
Me: "DD gets cranky and I get uncomfortable."
OW: "I really think it's time to wean her off, they need independence."
Me: "It's not up for discussion. I'm aware of your entitled opinion. Please stop saying it".
OW: "I'm just making conversation"
Me: "Well it's conversation I don't appreciate and I don't need to hear it every day so please stop"

WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

[NettleTea]

Originally Posted by Livviesmom0207

OW: "I'm just making conversation"

Nice save

[Sanveann]

Not that she's right, and not that it's any of her business, but remember, back in her day, doctor = God. If your doctor said something, that was gospel truth!

I'm actually surprised that she nursed for as long as she did. My grandmother is just slightly younger than this lady, and she told me once, "You're never going to believe this, but I nursed your Aunt Karen (her first) until she was NINE MONTHS OLD!" I got the impression that that was considered pretty crazy back then.

[IceyTheBatmom]

Now that you've told her to drop it, are you going to go to higher ups if the harassment doesn't stop?

I'm with you, some times people, no matter the age, warrant a punch. But remember, you're better than that! And I'm pretty sure local law enforcement wouldn't let you out to nurse, lol.

[llamalluv]

I HATE it when people play the Dead Momma card. I just want to hit them with a large cartoon mallet.

What I am trying to remember to say, however, is "OMG! You would wish for my baby to be MOTHERLESS?!!!!!! How can you say something so AWFUL?!!!!!! What kind of person ARE you?!"

And then wait for them to respond.

[Ruthla]

I would have said something to her along the lines of "I understand that you have different ideas about childrearing than I do. Please stop giving me unsolicited parenting advice, because I really don't appreciate it, and these conversations are unpleasant for me."

If this was your MIL or something, I'd try to find a doctor that agrees with you and tell her "Oh, but Dr. Bill Sears says to nurse for at least 2 years. I'm just following dr's orders." But this woman needs to simply back off.

Please let us know if she stops this now that you've asked her to do so.

[KirstenMary]

Originally Posted by menomena

Mention the words "hostile work environment" to your supervisor and see if you can't get this lady to shut it (i.e. her ignorance) up. hugs mama.

For dealing directly with this woman, you could try just saying "I don't want to talk about his with you." You don't have to be nasty about it, just mater-of-fact. "I am not interested in discussing my private life with you."

I agree with this. She is crossing some serious lines.

Originally Posted by IceyTheBatmom

Now that you've told her to drop it, are you going to go to higher ups if the harassment doesn't stop?

I'm with you, some times people, no matter the age, warrant a punch. But remember, you're better than that! And I'm pretty sure local law enforcement wouldn't let you out to nurse, lol.

This. You told her to stop, and if she doesn't, you need to take it over her head. It's almost as though she has made you her new little project. And it's pissing me off (for you).

[NettleTea]

Originally Posted by Sanveann

back in her day, doctor = God. If your doctor said something, that was gospel truth!

People are still that way.

[kikidee]

Oh it drives me crazy when people say things like, "What if x happens?" regarding some horrible disease or death, etc. So you should put your child through that trauma now so they will be okay if/when something bad happens later??

I agree that this is becoming a hostile work environment. But I also used to work in a small office, and I know how hard it is when you rock the boat. So I'm hoping she just cans it already!!

If she really is this into all this, maybe you could bring her some printouts from kellymom.com or other sources, for her to read?? You could say "Since you seem so interested in this topic, I thought I would give you some current information to bring you up to date on the changes in nursing since you were a young mother." ?? Worth a shot

[1littlebit]

i think you made it pretty clear she has a right to her opinion but you dont want to hear it. if she brings it up again just repeat. you have a right to your opinion but i dont want to hear it. and if she says she just making conversation tell her to pick a new topic b/c this one is closed. as my parents would say "end of discussion!" lol people are weird about stuff sometimes. what does an ob know about breastfeeding? i asked mine a ?? about it once and he said he didnt know but to call him and let him know if i found out so he would know for future reference lol.