Sometimes it feels like the universe is just whacking you over the head with the lack of correlation between wanting a child and getting one.
I helped a friend through the decision not to have a child after she got pregnant. She'll be a great Mom someday, but her boyfriend at the time was a complete jerk, and she has things she has to get straight before she has a kid. We both wished it could be me, but she suffered far worse from that than I did.
It's funny for me that as envious as I am about other folks getting pregnant, and having kids, I almost wish I had someone around who was pregnant. I just want to soak it up vicariously, I want to hear all the details, I want to rub the stomachs of every pregnant woman I see, I want to feel the babies kick, I want to hold all the babies I see, it just makes me ache sometimes, but the vicarious thrill is all I've got right now, and I try to suck all the comfort out of it I can get. I also keep thinking if I just hang around enough of it, it will somehow rub off
A friend was over with their baby last night, and I had to restrain myself from grabbing the baby the minute he came in the door. Only when he wanted to do something with his toddler did I dare offer. Then I found myself rocking the baby and checking myself out in the mirror going "this is what it will look like"
Sorry about going on
but I hope it helps somehow.