what's a mom to do?

[momofthreecuties]

I'm truly thinking of putting my son in school next year. He'll be in first grade. I plan to homeschool when all the kids are a bit older. I keep hearing other homeschoolers talk about having to "deschool" him when I do bring him home. RIght now he wants to stay at home, and I am the one thinking school would be good for him...good for me really. I LOVE my son...but he is so demanding and high energy. Not ADHD or anything, but he has more energy than most kids. He also doesn't listen to me lately. His 3 1/2 yo brother is better at listening. I'll tell them both to be quiet while I'm on the phone, it is always My oldest that is a problem! I feel torn on making this decision, I so want to homeschool him, but yet I think school would be a great way for him to stay busy with activities and friends. I just worry about some of the friends he could make from dysfuctional homes, some of the things he could pick up that I don't want him to pick up....I want to do what is truly best for him and our family....

momofthreecuties
:

[willibug]

It's such a personal decision, and it depends on a number of factors. I'll tell you a bit about my situation. I have 3 kids who are 6,3, and 13 months. my dh and I are leaning towards homeschooling for a variety of reasons, BUT this year ds1 is going to public kindergarten at the local PS down the street. When school started, we were in the thick of a move, and we are renovating the house we have moved into. The kindergarten hours are from 12:40-3:10. He enjoys going to be with other children, and we feel good about the other children in the class. It is a play-based curriculum within very relaxed atmosphere. All-in-all, we feel good about the kindergarten program. We don't, however, want him to be there all day next year. But this year, he enjoys going, and the time I have to devote to the younger kids and the house has been valuable. And I don't feel that we'll need to "de-school" him in this situation, but that would depend upon the school you've chosen and upon the child in question. Next year, I plan to get involved with a local homeschoolers group, which we've already visited. So, I guess I'm saying that it's totally possible to take it year-by-year. Evaluate the school and, obviously, your child, and remember that it's always possible to change your mind.

Good luck!

[momofthreecuties]

Wow, my kids are similar ages! My oldest wil be 6 next month, I have 3 1/2 yo and 10 mos baby....I know we can always change what our plans are year to year...month to month...day to day! It is so hard to know what to do. I did sign my 3 1/2 yo up for parent share preschool, he'll have that 3 times a week...my oldest if he went to school would be 9:15 to 3:30....if he rode the bus he'd get home after 4. Not sue if I want him mixed with older kids 1 hour every day...k-5th grade for the bus. He'd ride it for preschool days so it'd give me time for driving....funny thing is my son is leaning to stay home. What would I do with him and baby on preschool days? We live too far to go home for awhile....so frustrating....still have a while to figure it out I guess!

momofthreecuties

[lauren]

Momof3cuties that sounds like quite a dilemma. I also have a very spirited 6 (almost 7) y.o. who has been in public school for k-garten and 1st grade. (I also have an almost 4 y.o. girl, who has a lot more self-control and initiative than my son, similar to what you described!)

K-garten was wonderful, a lot like the one Willibug is describing--very play based and supportive, though full day. I'm a little disappointed in 1st grade because they seem to have dropped the theme based education that my son loves. It is fairly academic, and yet he has learned so much this year, and is reading like a 5th grader. Don't know if that would have happened at home......??? He resists anything I try to teach him--always has, despite his very close relationship with me (which is still strong, despite all the hours in school). This was one of the factors in sending him to PS (we originally though we'd homeschool) He accepts instruction from almost anyone better than from my husband and I. He is also one we have considered that traits of ADHD might fit, but don't see the point of labeling him. Nonetheless, he is an avid learner, when HE is interested in something. I worry that school doesn't even NOTICE this, let alone foster greater passion toward learning.

Yet I know if we brought him home for homeschooling, we'd be struggling all day......

Are there any alternative schools in your area? Charter schools? Another point would be to seek out other homeschooling families you could be connected with to give your son that extra social connection and ways to expend energy, and perhaps go hang out with for awhile while you regroup or work on the house.

You may also want to check inwith the homeschool board here. (I've been meaning to do this myself!) There must be other homeschoolers with very spirited children who are managing to homeschool successfully. There might be some practical ideas on how to pull this off without driving yourself crazy! (Here is my admission: I love my son like crazy, but if I was with him nonstop for 12 hrs. a day, I think our relationship would not be as good!)

[Britishmum]

Would you be able to work a timetable so that you took him to school at first, to avoid the school bus? Maybe rotate with another parent? Then you could let him settle into school before worrying about that aspect of the day, and it would shorten the day for him considerably.

Just a thought.

I do think that children vary, some love school, others don't settle so well. So much that is said about schools in a negative sense tends to be a result of a parent's own poor experiences at school, rather than what might be a reality for their child. That leads to guilt when the child goes to school, because the parent imagines that the child feels as he or she did years ago - which in turn can lead to a repetition of history.

Have you visited the school? Have you taken your son? So much of how he feels about it now will be a reflection of what you feel, he will pick up on your anxiety if you aren't careful - or on your enthusiasm if you feel it's right for him!

Personally, I disliked school on the whole, which may surprise some people from my posts, where I support much about the public school system and often leap to its defence! But I have seen many, many children who love school, because the provision is good and the teachers understand and really care about delivering what the child needs. Of course, schools vary enormously and some have great teachers, and all the children are happy and thriving. Others aren't so lucky, so parents need to be vigilant and get involved as much as possible.

Hope this helps in some way!

[anythingelse]

We homeschool our kids. 3 boys 13, 8, and 5. We have a 2 year old dd nursing and I babysit for an almost 1 year old girl. My son that is 8 is also very high energy.
I am not supermom, but I am able to meet the kid's needs by allowing my 8 year old plenty of time for unstructured play and following his interests. We also have playdates with other hs families near us, he takes gym at the YMCA during the day 3 times a week, and has a class now at a near by zoo. He enjoys a chess club, local community college has science enrichment, hs park days in good weather, and library storytime etc.. so we are not constantly together rubbing heads KWIM. Do you live near a group of homeschoolers, maybe you can ask what is available near you.
Good luck to you as you decide,
Mary

[bestjob]

We have 3 children as well, and I am really happy with the way school fits into our lives. It is an interesting and enjoyable part of the day. There are no homeschooling families around, we are far from the extended family, and local programs are set up assuming that children go to school during the day, so if we were at home, it would just be me and the three kids all day. That means that school is very important to them socially.

When they come back from school, we have a snack and a chat and then it is time to do something. They have lessons and Brownies and visits and unstructured play and fights and hikes and craft time and they help cook and they clean and they make messes and they are kind to each other and they sometimes do things that cause trouble...

I guess what I am trying to say is that just by being at school doesn't mean that they don't have a life outside of the school. They will still do wonderful things at home, but they also get to do wonderful things there. (If your schools are as great as our schools.)