Does your almost 4-year old dress herself? - Page 2

[darkviolets]

My just-turned 6yr old DS still wants (and usually insists) on help getting dressed. He can physically do it, he just never wants to. It turns into a huge battle of wills if I refuse to help him, so unless I really can't, I will help him.

[Ruthla]

I'm the mom of 3 kids and all were different with dressing themselves. I'm trying to think what they were each doing around age 4...

DD1 was undressing herself before DD2 was born (so under 16m) and dressing herself by age 2. I'd be busy with the baby and she'd go off and fuss with her clothing and get it figured out by the time I could give her attention.

DD2 didn't need to dress herself so much, as when she was a toddler/preschooler she was in daycare and often I just needed to rush out the door so I'd dress her, while her sister at the same age could play with her clothes all day and figured it out. Then a little bit older DD1 would help DD2 with clothes even if I didn't. I'm not sure at what age she was putting on what items, but I'm pretty sure she was dressing herself by the time DS was born (age 5.5) I honestly don't remember what she was doing in preschool, other than helping my mom velcro her shoes (as my mom was recovering from a nasty car accident that shattered her hip.)

DS still doesn't like dressing himself, but he'll do it. I'm slowly weaning him off of needing company while dressing! He still needs training wheels on his bike and just learned to swim last summer at age 5. At age 4 I think he was able to dress himself, though he didn't like to. With socks, I discovered that a certain brand and style he could do alone (after lots of explaining how to use 2 hands to do it) but other styles of socks he couldn't manage- at the time I bought him more socks in the larger size (in his preferred style) to encourage independence; now we still have most of them (some have worn out but all still fit.)

Kids grow and develop skills at different rates. It's especially common for a child who's advanced in one area to be a bit "behind" on another- total development is "average" but some kids just develop more fully in one area than another, and others develop more evenly.

[DaughterOfKali]

My son didn't dress himself at that age. (he still has trouble with socks/shoes at age 5 1/2)

[ma_vie_en_rose]

I wonder if it is a boy/girl thing, too. I have a friend with an older girl and younger boys. Her DD started to dress herself very young, but her boys didn't. She said it occured to her that her boys actually needed to be taught how to get dressed.

[jaidymama]

Yes, my son does, and sometimes needs help or wants help.

However, there were times when I wondered if he could. So I started with little things... I always let him pick what he wants to wear, sometimes he asks me to pick. I then changed the way I got him dressed so that he was doing it with me or helping get xyz on somehow. Then I would hand him his shirt and let him attempt. He would get frustrated and want to stop... I would give him one or two tries (he would immediately stop and whine that he couldn't do it; I would gently ask him to try it again) then I would help him. I at least wanted him to give it a couple tries.

This wasn't anything I pushed on him, he seemed to want to do it, but was stopping because he found it frustrating so we found ways to work through that.

For us it had been something that we never had really introduced to him. So if you haven't introduced it you might try little things. If you have and dc refuses, then let it go. Eventually your dc will want to learn that. Other skills to help with finger dexterity are puzzles and lacing things. I think as the confidence grows so will the skills.

[RomanGoddess]

Thanks for all your replies, ladies. It's reassuring to know that she is probably normal for her age. I have noticed that some of her girlfriends around the same age dress themselves easily but also notice that they are all much shorter and finer-boned than DD and seem to have much more fine motor dexterity than she does. Her feet are also much wider than theirs, so socks are tighter. Maybe that's part of it? Anyway, I'll have to look out for some loose fitting socks that she can put on more easily.