The other day we had one of dd's friends over. When her mom picked her up she invited dd over to make cookies later that week. Of course the girls were excited.
I had to work that day so dd was with our nanny during the afternoon, the time of the proposed playdate. They just live down the street and we ended up telling nanny that it was okay to walk her over and drop her off for an hour or two
The problem is, there is an older boy in the home with whom dh and I aren't entirely comfortable. He's about 11 yo, and is a polite, well spoken boy. But we've gotten a creepy vibe off of him a couple of times.
One time we had the family over for dinner. At one point we were outside and the boy produced my wallet from his pocket, asking "Did anyone lose this?" I said "Well, it's mine, but I didn't lose it. It was on the kitchen counter where I always put it when I come home." His mom was shocked and embarrassed, and made him go put it back right away.
Then when we had the kids over swimming, they were diving for toys and I looked around for these 3 matching rockets that we always use. They're always just on the bottom of the pool and I asked the kids where they were, so that I could throw them for them. The girls were both saying 'They were just here, we were just using them." The boy acted like he had no idea what I was talking about, and kept asking me to describe them. Then he made a show of looking around with me. They never did show up and we used other toys instead.
After they left we looked and there all 3 rockets were on the bottom of the pool, in plain sight. Dh and I are both convinced that he had hidden them away to take home with him, and that after we made a fuss about them being missing he changed his mind and put them back before he left.
There have been some other examples, but these are the most obvious. So he seems to sort of a dishonest type of kid, for whatever reason.
Bottom line is, I'm really not comfortable with dd playing around him without MY adult supervision. His mom is very sweet and I trust her, but I don't believe that she would hold him under the same scrutiny that I would. For instance, I would never let them play alone in a room together, but I think she would see no harm in that.
So, is there a graceful way to handle this? What kind of reasons can I come up with to negotiate around dd playing at their house without me, especially since her dd plays at our house alone all the time?
TIA.
I had to work that day so dd was with our nanny during the afternoon, the time of the proposed playdate. They just live down the street and we ended up telling nanny that it was okay to walk her over and drop her off for an hour or two
The problem is, there is an older boy in the home with whom dh and I aren't entirely comfortable. He's about 11 yo, and is a polite, well spoken boy. But we've gotten a creepy vibe off of him a couple of times.
One time we had the family over for dinner. At one point we were outside and the boy produced my wallet from his pocket, asking "Did anyone lose this?" I said "Well, it's mine, but I didn't lose it. It was on the kitchen counter where I always put it when I come home." His mom was shocked and embarrassed, and made him go put it back right away.
Then when we had the kids over swimming, they were diving for toys and I looked around for these 3 matching rockets that we always use. They're always just on the bottom of the pool and I asked the kids where they were, so that I could throw them for them. The girls were both saying 'They were just here, we were just using them." The boy acted like he had no idea what I was talking about, and kept asking me to describe them. Then he made a show of looking around with me. They never did show up and we used other toys instead.
After they left we looked and there all 3 rockets were on the bottom of the pool, in plain sight. Dh and I are both convinced that he had hidden them away to take home with him, and that after we made a fuss about them being missing he changed his mind and put them back before he left.
There have been some other examples, but these are the most obvious. So he seems to sort of a dishonest type of kid, for whatever reason.
Bottom line is, I'm really not comfortable with dd playing around him without MY adult supervision. His mom is very sweet and I trust her, but I don't believe that she would hold him under the same scrutiny that I would. For instance, I would never let them play alone in a room together, but I think she would see no harm in that.
So, is there a graceful way to handle this? What kind of reasons can I come up with to negotiate around dd playing at their house without me, especially since her dd plays at our house alone all the time?
TIA.
