Another point that I think the book made though, which I agree with, is that we DO have free will and so everything that happens will not always be God's will or really under God's control, because He allows us to do things that are against His will. So that's a little scary, but it also made the point that He can bring about good through anything bad that people do. I am coming from a very Calvinist, sovereign God, "God is in CONTROL" type background, so although I've thought about this stuff before, I'm still working through it. Maybe God's control is more gentle guidance than the rigid idea we usually have when we speak of control.
ETA: Which is perhaps a good description of one way we can demonstrate God's love to our kids.