Ds seems to be a perfectionist (
a little like me).
Up until a couple months ago, the child would NOT color for more than a minute. He said he couldn't stay inside the lines. So he'd stop, and insist that I do it. Even when I wouldn't color it for him (when I was busy), he'd just leave it uncolored.
So now, a couple months later, he colors- and stays inside the lines really well for an almost 4yo. He's happy with it.
He won't draw shapes that he doesn't think he'll get perfect.
He's into writing things, and there are a couple letters that he won't write himself. He never tries "g" and often won't try "s" -he just asks me to write those for him. Up until a couple weeks ago, he would only write a few of the easy letters (T's, I's, etc) on his own, and would have me do the rest.
Besides being a bit irritating to stop what I'm doing to write something he won't even try, I'm wondering what is going on that he's so critical of himself.
I've NEVER criticized his coloring or writing or drawing. I've never mentioned staying in the lines or anything, or that a certain letter doesn't look right, etc. I try not to praise and "good job" but also do say things like "What a cool picture!" and "That looks like a good 'A' to me" (in response to him not liking the way he wrote it). Recently I've changed that to "Oh, you don't like the way it looks?" and I might add that it looks like an "A" to me.
It doesn't *really* surprise me. He showed signs of it when he was a year old and learning baby signs. He would refuse to even try a sign, then when he would try, he got it totally right.
Anyone else have a kid who's a perfectionist? How do you react to it?
a little like me).Up until a couple months ago, the child would NOT color for more than a minute. He said he couldn't stay inside the lines. So he'd stop, and insist that I do it. Even when I wouldn't color it for him (when I was busy), he'd just leave it uncolored.
So now, a couple months later, he colors- and stays inside the lines really well for an almost 4yo. He's happy with it.
He won't draw shapes that he doesn't think he'll get perfect.
He's into writing things, and there are a couple letters that he won't write himself. He never tries "g" and often won't try "s" -he just asks me to write those for him. Up until a couple weeks ago, he would only write a few of the easy letters (T's, I's, etc) on his own, and would have me do the rest.
Besides being a bit irritating to stop what I'm doing to write something he won't even try, I'm wondering what is going on that he's so critical of himself.
I've NEVER criticized his coloring or writing or drawing. I've never mentioned staying in the lines or anything, or that a certain letter doesn't look right, etc. I try not to praise and "good job" but also do say things like "What a cool picture!" and "That looks like a good 'A' to me" (in response to him not liking the way he wrote it). Recently I've changed that to "Oh, you don't like the way it looks?" and I might add that it looks like an "A" to me.
It doesn't *really* surprise me. He showed signs of it when he was a year old and learning baby signs. He would refuse to even try a sign, then when he would try, he got it totally right.
Anyone else have a kid who's a perfectionist? How do you react to it?
He very much has an engineer's brain, which he comes by honestly on both sides of the family. He is hypercritical and likes things the right way--which is rarely how I do things. He has begun drawing in perspective on his own--drawing has been his favorite thing for over 2 years. His training wheels came off for his 6th bday (his request--he was ready earlier). He reads, but is a reluctant reader. Other than riding his bike and scooter, he is not coordinated for sports. For example, he sees what's going on on the soccer field well, and can position himself, but is the kid kicking and kicking and missing the ball even when it's not moving. BUt playing at home, he makes contact no problem, but can't aim. He has refused to play goalie since a "mean kid" (we know the boy, it's an apt description!) told him he was bad at it during a game. He hates baseball. My 5yo throws/catches a baseball better. But he can balance on his bike without moving for over 30 seconds.
