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Why did you decide UC over HB w/ Midwife?

post #1 of 41
Thread Starter 
Just a little curious as to the reasons why some would choose unassisted childbirth over a midwife assisted homebirth. I'm trying to weigh everything out.

Feedback would be great!

Thanks, Erica
post #2 of 41
For me, it was an easy choice. I HAD a MW for one of my births, and though she was nice enough and we hit it off well, and all, she was "in my way".

I felt like I was performing rather than giving birth. I felt I had to "entertain" her rather than do my thing. I was constantly worried about her feelings, bothering her, and such rather than being able to focus on me.

And I felt that what she "did" for me was nothing more than what I or my DH could do for ourselves, and therefore it was a waste of money (a big deal to us).

So from that point on, it was UC all the way. And I have never regretted it.
post #3 of 41
Honestly, homebirth just popped into my head and I thought I could do it myself. Also, after a while I started looking at midwives and they cost a lot and I don't have the money and I'm sure my insurance won't cover it. I think I can do this myself and I would rather do it that way.
post #4 of 41
for me, it just made total sense.

i read Jeanine Parvati Baker's book Prenatal Yoga. In that, she recounts her UC. When i read it, i was both intregued and inspired. i talked with my husband about it, and we both felt that it was right for us.

this was probably 5-6 years ago now.

we both realized also that we'd need to work through a lot of social conditioning, fears, etc--and so we spent a lot of time doing that as well as researching birth and it's natural processes.

and here we are 34.5 weeks and excited to UC our first!
post #5 of 41
I had two births with midwives and just knew I could do it myself. Some of my complaints from my first births were the midwives directing me at times I didn't need it. I had two UC's and have loved them both!

post #6 of 41
Unfortunately a lot of complaints about OBs and hospitals still apply to midwives. They have certain things they HAVE to do or risk losing their liscence. I know a lot of midwives that don't let you go past 42 weeks (although at least they give you those extra 2 weeks that OB's don't). Our local midwife starts giving "cocktails" at 41 weeks to get the baby out. Some midwives will tell you that you can't birth at home if you are GBS+. Some still have restrictions on how long they can "allow" you to wait for the placenta before they start to interfere.

I do know a local "illegal" midwife (she's a DEM, and they're technically not allowed to practice here in VA) who, simply because she's not legal, doesn't have to follow the same rules. If I felt I needed a midwife, it would definitely be her. As it is, she's on call in case DH gets nervous and needs someone to check with, or if something goes wrong, ect. But I don't plan on needing her at all. She UC'd her own children, and is totally supportive of me doing the same.
post #7 of 41
post #8 of 41
It's just not that simple, for me at least. The nearest midwife is 4 1/2 hours away, so I even if I was willing to travel that far for prenatal care and pay that much for prenatal care, the birth would no longer be a home birth. I'd either be in the hospital or a hotel room, neither of which appeal to me.

post #9 of 41
it's not a simple answer as there are so many facets to why Im choosing to UC this time....but I don't want to be managed, I don't want the energy of fear or anxiousness from the midwife at my birth when I birth outside their comfort zone, (ie time limits, post-dates, prolonged rupture of membranes, big baby, breech, twins, vbac...and the list goes on to much more mundane items) I believe in midwifery and thus consider myself one, but when it comes to the almight liscense, it seems the essence of MW goes out the door.
post #10 of 41
As I told my mother, I am tired of inviting people that I don't really know and have no particular bond with to my birth.

I had a mw-attended homebirth with ds. She arrived all of thirty minutes before he was born, and the only things I remember her doing are those that annoyed me greatly. She was in the way, fundamentally, and sometimes I wonder if he'd been born even sooner if she'd not been there. Who knows, though, right?
post #11 of 41
Originally Posted by JERENAUD View Post
It's just not that simple, for me at least. The nearest midwife is 4 1/2 hours away, so I even if I was willing to travel that far for prenatal care and pay that much for prenatal care, the birth would no longer be a home birth. I'd either be in the hospital or a hotel room, neither of which appeal to me.

: Plus I don't like being interfered with. It's your body after all. Better to educate yourself than to blindly trust someone who may not know as much as you think they do.
post #12 of 41
i have had one hospital birth with a midwife, one homebirth with a midwife and one UC (a second UC happening any day now).

through my birthing journey, i have learned that for me, no one belongs at my birth that isnt going to be in my life forever. i believe that childbirth is designed to take place within a family unit. a 'midwife', in the distant past, might have been your mother or grandma. i personally would not want even that distant a relative in my childbirth space. for me, the only appropriate spectators are my own husband and children. even they are questionable and leave me be mostly in birth.

how often do you vomit in public? pee? cry in pain? these are all things that i have had to do in front of people i do not even know. not to mention allow them to observe and touch my genitalia while i gave birth. i can see abandoning the need for privacy if i felt i was in grave danger and needed medical help. but i would never plan to have an audience again.

pregnancy & birth also tends to open me up and make me vulnerable to people around me. then, at 6-8 wks postpartum, my hired midwife just stops coming. because she was hired help. it just doesnt work out for me.
post #13 of 41
I'd also had MW asisted birth before my UC.

I chose UC becuase thats how I saw birth. I always have since I was a kid dreamed about just popping a baby out without any interference. It had little to nothing to do with any of my other births.

after my UC I chose a mw attendant for the next birth. The reasons were unrelated to the UC, or any other births.
post #14 of 41
I don't feel I have a choice but to UC. There is only 1 midwife who will practice in our entire state and the ones I had previously will not cross state lines anymore to come here. The 1 midwife I did talk to on the phone 2 times- but she gave me a spirit of fear about birth and I decided we were definitely not a match. So... Here we are... hours, days, weeks? away from our first UC.

It wouldn't be my first choice. BUT... The alternative of going to the hospital isn't a choice unless we needed to.

I have learned a lot about myself already through this journey. I have been surprised by reactions of different people in our lives to our decision- some good, some bad. I am finding that I am having to place my trust in God and in myself a lot more than any other human. This is empowering and frightening all in one. I am looking forward to our journey and seeing where this choice takes us...
post #15 of 41
Originally Posted by Moonprysm View Post
This is perfect quote from the article:
"The fact is, too many midwives give lip service to the idea that "women know how to give birth!" They tell women to trust their bodies and believe in their own abilities - but not to the point of giving birth without them."
post #16 of 41

NOt to hijack, but

there are a lot of really interesting responses here, and Im doing a paper on UC and the midwives role in SUPPORTING it as an acceptable option. I'd love it if some of you would give permission to be quoted. I could use your sn or a fake name if you dont want your name on it. I would really appreciate it! Pm me if you wouldnt mind! thanks
post #17 of 41
I had 3 easy births at a birth center with wonderful midwives. I chose to stay home because driving in labor is a pain and my last birth had been so fast I wasn't sure I would make it to the birth center anyway. My dh felt confident that we could do it alone so there was no issue there.
I don't have any complaints about the midwives I used- I loved them. It just seemed a little silly to go through all the getting ready, dropping kids off somewhere and then just turning around and coming back home a few hours later with a baby in the car.
Our UC was a fabulous experience and I'm glad we did this as it will most likely be our last baby.
post #18 of 41
I interviewed a midwife, the only one in town who I would even go near, and she and I didn't click. I saw her later at a birth I attended and I was not at all impressed. I made the correct choice when I gave birth in the most dysfunctional way a week later. She would have insisted on a transport and that would have been an unpleasant altercation.

As the hospital wasn't an option, we decided to UC. And it was the correct choice for those circumstances.

I chose a midwife attended birth for my twins and it too, was the correct choice.
post #19 of 41
I was feeling like a watched pot during my mw assisted birth so much so that my transition was over 3 hours. One of the mws that was attending complained about the apt being too cold and asked to turn the heat up. (*I* was definitley not cold laboring.) She also complained that we didn't have any food for her to eat. We were already leaning towards UC and that sealed it for me.
post #20 of 41
because I am the EXPERT of my body.
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