Easter bunny and santa - where do u stand?

[Earthymama]

i am curious how people feel on this issue. i hate lying to my kids regarding the easter bunny and santa, but mr earthymama thinks its all in good fun. we sorta go halfway and lie but so obviously they dont take us seriously for very long. i feel if we lie about this, why would they believe us when we tell them what we believe about god? after all, they are both abstract concepts. i am interested in what other thinking people think.
Earthymama

[Irishmommy]

We do both, I don't think it's a big deal. We emphasize the religious aspect more though.

[Ms. Mom]

I'm strange, It makes me feel silly talking about it - like a story that I won't admit is a tale.

But, dh LOVES it, so I bit my lip and let him. However, I've never promoted it. And, when ds has asked if it's real I ask him "do you want it to be now?"

[saige]

Hey there!! I think the important thing is if they ask you if santa/easter bunny is real that you tell them the truth.I just have fun with the girls and I think they have there whole life to be serious,who cares if they have fun with it now.I do tell them more of the spiritual aspect and try to emphasize that more,though.

[leafylady]

My son probably believes more in Elmo, Barney, Winnie the Pooh, Caillou, and a few other characters. He sees and hears about them much more than Santa or the Easter Bunny, although I think I'd prefer these once a year special occasion creatures over daily cartoons/puppets. I don't think it's dangerous. Eventually they ask and you tell the truth, or leave it a little mysterious like Ms. Mom. Life/culture is full of mythology. I think it's good for us and the kids, but important to introduce deeper and older mythologies in their bedtime literature.

[Earthymama]

leafylady, i am betting we have a lot in common....we a lot of mythology...love joseph campbell

[jasnjakesmama]

We don't do them. To me it takes away from the meaning behind the Holidays.

[Ruth]

We don't lie to our dd. We tell her it is a person dressed in a costume.

She is not afraid of the Easter Bunny but WAS very afraid of Santa. Alot of kids are. We took a family picture with the person dressed as a bunny yesterday. My dd peeked into the mask and it was a smily teenage girl. We saw other parents FORCING their crying babies/children to take a picture with the Easter Bunny and we have seen it at Chrismas too. (We have only one family picture with the person dressed as Santa Claus because since then our dd, who is now 4, was afraid of Santa.)

I had a black employee once who said, "I don't tell my kids that if they are good a white bearded man bring them gifts. I work hard all year to buy my children special things." I couldn't have said it better.

About God, oh my gosh you had to ask. I am 40 and still learning what She is or isn't and that is what I tell my dd. How about a description of God from a Tomie dePaola book (which I just happened to read to her tonight)?

I LOVE YOU, SUN. I LOVE YOU, SHEEP. I LOVE YOU WIND. I LOVE YOU, TREE. I LOVE YOU BIRD, I LOVE YOU FISH. I LOVE YOU FLOWER, I LOVE YOU RABBIT. I LOVE YOU ROCK, I LOVE YOU BUG. I LOVE YOU STARS, I LOVE YOU WATER. I LOVE YOU, WOLF, I LOVE YOU, MOON. I LOVE YOU EARTH, AND YOU LOVE ME.

[Linda in Arizona]

The Easter Bunny and Santa visit our home and leave little things for the kids, but it isn't something that we go on and on for months about. My kids haven't asked if they are real, but when they do I will respond the same I did when they asked if the story of the Princess and the Pea is true.

"what do you think?"

I really don't think of it as lieing but rather as teaching them our culture's mythology. Santa is a symbol of alturism, he is the spirit of Christmas, of giving to people who can not give anything back. The Easter Bunny is a symbol of spring and fertility, as are eggs.

[Dandylion]

My dh and I disagree on this one. He has a real problem with it and says it is lying, but I don't think it's such a big deal. We compromise and tell dd that Santa, the Easter Bunny, etc., are not real but it is fun to pretend they are. We also use the "What do you think?" response.
That is, when they ask.
Most of the time, I think, she is happily immersed in the fantasy. But underneath all that, I think she is aware that they are not real.

[khrisday]

I decided before the kids were even born that we would not do the "Santa/Easter Bunny/Tooth Fairy" thing with the kids. I can remember as a child being sat down on my father's lap and being told that santa was not real. I still very much believed in him at the time and I was crushed and very mad at my dad. It seriously got in the way of our relationship for many years and I didn't want to do that to our kids. It turned out to be a good ideas since my son has some problems distinguishing between reality and fantasy. Even as much as we have talked about how characters are not real (including winnie the pooh, elmo, etc) when my son's first tooth fell out he put it under his pillow just to see LOL (NO I didn't replace it with money)

[lilyka]

>>>"I don't tell my kids that if they are good a white bearded man bring them gifts. I work hard all year to buy my children special things"<<<

TRhat is exactly how I feel and what I tell people. I give my children gifts because I love them and I want my children to know those gifts are from mom and dad and were not bought without sacrifice and are not from some mythical man who needs or deserves no thanks., I also don't believe motivation for beiing good should come from wanting to please some make blieve guuy so you get more loot. And what about the fact that "Santa" brings really great gifts to some kids while other, obviopusly better behaved children get next tonothing. (I was always the really good kid who got next to nothing. Still pisses me off.)

Anyway we play with SAnta because he fun and has some fun stories. We don't do the Easter bunny because we don't celebrate anyhting called Easter and it is pretty contrived to make a big deal about a bunny who isn't even that totally present. We celebrate Resurrection Day at church, Passover and good friday with family and leave gifts for friends on May Day without any expectation of reciprocation. The girsl also get May baskets on may day. this year they have a small stuffed toy, a little candy. new fun tooth brushes, bubbles, finger puppets, socks in spring colors, bracelets, and hair rollers. An odd mix for sure, but again we stress this is from mommy and daddy because we love you, not because you earned it and not because it is what people do because today is today.

Isn't the tooth fairy real? I am sure she is.

[tattoomama]

I agree with a lot of the mamas' on this one- my first memory of not trusting an adult is when my dad told me that santa wasn't real-I was very angry at him for lying to me and swore I would never lie to my kids about anything. We also had different ideas about it, my husband thought it was okay, I didn't- eventually the reasons I gave made him understand I guess and we are now in agreement. Mia can pretend if she wants to but she knows it isn't real and also knows not to tell other kids that it isn't real! We did tell her about the man that the legend is based upon and she really liked that someone nice like that was a real person at one time- we try to put the focus on our family and the other reasons for the holiday. I can't help but think that if we lie to them about something stupid like santa, what kind of message does that send when you tell them not to lie to you?

[hydrangea]

This actually just came up (in August) because dd1 just lost her first tooth, so we had to think about the whole tooth fairy thing.

It wasn't hard to decide for us. We did what we do with Santa and the Easter Bunny. We talk about how they're not real but it's a fun thing to pretend, and my girls enjoy that. For the toothfairy, we talked about that, and then that evening I reminded her to leave her tooth under her pillow "for the tooth fairy," and she even decorated an envelope to put it in for the fairy. I replaced it during the middle of the night with another decorated envelope containing money and signed it "With love, the Tooth Fairy." When she woke up I asked her what the tooth fairy had left her, and she grinned and told me. Then a few minutes later she laughed and said, "but the tooth fairy is really you, Mommy."

So we pretend together, which I actually think is really fun for all of us.

[imakebelieve]

We do the whole thing. All of the imaginary characters, including some of my own creation. Sometimes, fairies or leprechauns or other characters leave little treasure hunts for my son to go on. We hunt for fairies, talk about fantasy and pretend much of the day. He has a great imagination.

Some of my fondest memories in childhood were imagining about Santa, the North Pole and the elves. I would lie in bed and swear I heard the reindeer on my roof. My brother and I believed for a long time, we actually had to be told because other kids knew before we did and they were teasing us. Once I found out, I was a little disappointed, but I was then allowed in on the fun with my brother. Also, my mom loved to play Santa, and as long as we "believed", he came, even when I was 18 and my brother was 14. It was such fun. The Easter bunny was a stretch, but it was fun pretending.

I don't feel like it is lying, just pretending, and we do that all of the time. My son is convinced that a character from Thomas' Magic Railroad gave him a special gift. He sent Ben on a treasure hunt around the house and ended up putting a very special engine in his potty (at least it is getting some use LOL) I came up with this method of giving him little gifts that I want him to have, so that he doesn't always ask for so many things. I think it is just fine either way.

We are not a religious family, more spiritual than religious, so we don't focus the holidays on those aspects, we focus on pretending and spending time with our family.

Also, Santa brings only one gift and the family gets to play santa by giving each other stocking gifts. There is no contingency on good behavior either. I never liked that aspect of it. Our Santa is not extravagant, but he brings the one specialgift.

[MamaSoleil]

I feel that fantasie is important for kids...who am I kidding, I still love living in my fantasie world! But if dd asks me one day what is real, I will not hold anything back, until then, may the magic live on!

always,
Mamasoleil

[CorasMama]

I don't know whether Dd believes that Santa is real or not, but she loves the whole fantasy and the whole process so much, that we do it. She talks about leaving a note for Santa at our house, with grandma and grandpa's address, so he knows where she is on xmas eve. She describes how he'll come in, and she leaves cookies and cheese (has anyone seen that commercial) and milk. She is just so full of the wonder and mystery of it that, for now, it works for us.

I do remember, however, being really crushed when I found out Santa wasn't real. I was 7, I think, and my dad and I were driving out on a camping trip. He thought I already had figured it out, and just said something casual in conversation referring to the fact that Santa isn't real, and I freaked out. Part of me had probably known, but I loved the fantasy of it, and didn't want to be disillusioned. From that year on, we went right back to the fantasy, and even in my teen years, when I would thank him for a gift from santa, he would feign ignorance, and tell me not to thank him, bcs it was from santa. To this day, my dad still sends me gifts from Santa.

I believe that the reason kids believe in fairy tales and fairies is that we (society) haven't convinced them yet that they are mistaken. I think that they can see and know things about the world that we can't. Who says all imaginary friends don't start out real? I love my dd's "imagination" and fantasy tales.

[Itlbokay]

I never have liked doing the Santa/Easter bunny thing, at least the part about making them believe it's true...but my DH loves it! I like how Hydrangea handles it, pretending to believe - that seems like a good way to go about it for me.

[DeChRi]

Dh and I disagree too. He is all for Santa. When i was growing up we never did them. My parents told my brother when he was 5 and I was 3 that Santa brought the presents and he just looked at em like 'whatever!'. That was the end of it. Dd is only 3 now. We will kind of half ass it and not worry about it.

Here is why I don't think it'll work on my dd. Keep in mind she is just over 3. We are trying to get her off the binky habit. I told her if she got her 4 binkys together and put one each night under her pillow the binky fairy will take it and leave a quarter. She looks at me and says: mom , i think the binky fairy is just my parents!

[Ruth]

I have no problem with the pretending/fantasy part of these myths. We pretend and fantasize all day long with our 4.5 year old dd. (She is Lilo right now from Lilo & Stitch and tell everybody she is from Hawaii but she knows her real name and where she is really from.)

The problem I have with Santa and the Easter bunny, etc. is when parents insist they are real. I think that is lying and it is something I try not to do to my child.

I have dressed up as Santa before too and it is a blast. I actually went dressed as Santa to Six Flags over Texas and you would not believe the controversy I caused ("Santa is not a girl?" You mean a woman? Who says she isn't? Have you looked? ha ha.)