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Easter bunny and santa - where do u stand? - Page 2

post #21 of 30
We don't do them. Ds was 4 before he began asking about it. I told him, no, Santa is not real but some people like to pretend so he should'nt spoil their fun. I do remember that feeling of.."You lied to me!" when I learned the truth. It tested my faith for many years.
post #22 of 30
No to the Easter bunny (don't celebrate Easter)-yes to the St. Nick of our European traditions.

Not the commercialized Santa though.
post #23 of 30

Holidays

Hi there, I have raised my daughter Winter, now close to nine years, in a relaxed pagan tradition, Goddess spirituality. Those old men in white beards definetely scared her when she was small. But I also like the fun and fantasy of magical visitors. So we have created the Solstice Fairy who visits on Winter Solstice and brings a few gifts. I grew up in a family who recognized Christmas a religious, not a commercial holiday. And we always gave more gifts on birthdays, and none at Easter and Valentine's Day, etc, but always some at Christmas and the stocking. The Magic Hare of Spring visits at the Spring Equinox and leaves one little treat and we decorate eggs in the Ukranian fashion and talk about the wonders of spring. The Tooth Fairy leaves little silver charms, a great alternative to cash, (cheap too, go to a craft or bead store). So that's us, I believe in magic and mystery and Winter still enjoys our special celebrations. Any pagan leaning mommas can get great holiday alternative ideas from Circle Round: Raising Children in Goddess Traditions, by Starhawk, Diane Baker, and Anne Hill. We use this book a lot and I highly recommend it as a positive and accessible resource. ANyways, have fun y'all.
In peace, Sorrel
post #24 of 30
Boy, I guess I am really the odd man(woman) out here. We do Santa EB, TF, the whole bit. I think it is fun and the kids get so excited. I feel that they are kids and should enjoy every minute of this time. As they get older, the fun things become more and more rare. When my children ask, I also do the "what do you think" or "believe whatever is right for you" thing. I know that, seeing as ds is almost 8, the truth will come out soon enough. However, I will encourage him to keep the secret from his younger siblings so that they can all enjoy it the way he has. I do not look at it as a trust issue. There are so many things in our childrens lives that we do not come out and tell them out of the blue. I have a hard time understanding why a child would be upset about the "lying" when it has led to wonderful treats for them. It is a natural part of growing up. Just keep it fun.

This is just my opinion, not to discount anyone else's feelings or traditions.
post #25 of 30
We feel very strongly that our children should have a strong understanding of reality first so that fantasy and pretending can then be built on that later. I won't go into the whole philosophy behind it, but we believe it will help them to be adults capable of living in the present rather than victims of the random thoughts that plague the minds of most adults (including ourselves, both TV kids). So to allow that to happen we try to present only the truth for the first 4 1/2 to 5 years. That means no talking animals/cars/etc in books or TV, no Easter bunny and so on. Of course it's not easy bc we do have a TV and there are very few children's shows that fit our criteria. Basically Playschool, music acts and then into National Geographic type shows.

There are several books written specifically about when to introduce fables and myths to young children, and the damage that can be done if introduced too early.

Basically I have to say, if you allow Big Bird and all that stuff, but don't let your kids believe in Santa then it's very hypocritical.
post #26 of 30
ooooh.. I love that this thread has come up! It has given my several new points to ponder (thanks!) as I have been contemplating this for years.

My ds is just 11mo, so we have a little time left. I do think it's lying - but having said that, I never felt betrayed as a kid when I found out the truth... (somehow I actually felt sad for my parents that they would not have the joy of seeing my enthusiasm at the whole santa experience) Anyway, motherdownunder has a very interesting point - "if you allow Big Bird and all that stuff, but don't let your kids believe in Santa then it's very hypocritical"... seems logical to me, but that also includes all other fantasies, as motherdownunder pointed out... I do think there should be some (understood) fantasy play. So that leads perfectly to how Hydrangea handles it - pretending to believe. I do think I will try to incorporate that into our philosophy because I think it would be fun and honest.

I have been trying to celebrate the changing of the seasons. I really love the thought of that - seems to help keep me connected to what is really important. I think I may check out the book that sorrel mentioned.

The thing is we are not very 'religious' - so we may just celebrate the equinox at the Easter time of year, while celebrating the solstice & christmas (in a minor fashion) at that time of year.
post #27 of 30
what a great topic
I dont do Santa or EB- but I do BB Ernie and Elmo, etc, ofcourse they know its someone with a costume on, just pretending, it isnt real,
The reason we dont just "pretend" about santa or EB also is that I dont believe in the commercialism and over abundance of presents, over the holydays we celebrate Yule, Christmas, Channukah and Kwanza ... hows THAT for hypocritical <GRINNING with love>...and we DO give presents, mostly household needs that I hold off untill giving at that time, ie brushes, pillows,
Relatives do things like, Santa left this at our house for you and it doesnt bother anyone at all- they know we know everyone knows -I DO try and get my mom to not give the kids sleighfull amounts of presents tho -whats with that anyways...? a child spells love T I M E and (imho) lots of presents create a higher risk of them not being taken care of properly and just ending up thrown away or unappreciated- (more garbage/plastic/) and...what do I want my child to appreciate anyways...? mary
ps/edited to add we do the tooth fairy tho , I mean to say that we "play " pretend. if I forget they're like, mom, you forgot to do the tooth fairy, and I keep all their teeth so they KNOW who the fairy is, and whoever had that idea about the charms? I LOVE IT! thankyou, Ill be using that one
m
post #28 of 30
Dd #1 thinks that the Easter Bunny lives at the mall . . .

We both feel kind of ambivalent about Santa. It is very important for us to emphasize the Christian meanings of Christmas and the Resurrection, and we tend to keep those separate from "Santa". We don't do Easter Bunny.

I don't know what the right answer is about fantasy vs. reality. In one sentence she will talk about Jesus and Thomas the Tank Engine, and at least in her mind they are all as real as her sister. I don't think that always telling the strict truth will prevent children from developing an active imagination, but I just try to accept that all these things are real to her and she'll sort it out as she grows up. Being able to see it or not doesn't make a difference either, because she has a significant everyday relationship with Jesus. I was just going to say that even before she saw any shows with talking trains, airplanes, etc., she was already having those types of things "talk" to each other, even without faces or whatever. She doesn't play with dolls--she plays with trains . . .
post #29 of 30
Well, Stephanie, I guess we are odd man out together! Is there such a thing? I am not religious; dh is Catholic but not practicing (goes to church twice a year with his mom). We do Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy and the Halloween Fairy! Halloween Fairy is something I heard of a couple of years ago that we do now too. DD is welcome to eat Halloween candy for two days. Then the Halloween Fairy comes and takes the candy, replacing it with a little gift (coloring book, stickers, whatever - I usually get this on sale after Halloween the year before - gotta love those 90% off holiday merchandise sales at Target!)
Xmas and Easter were not celebrated religiously in my home when I was growing up - neither are they for my kids now. Xmas is about singing carols and making snowmen and sending pictures/letters to our friends (dd1 sent her own Xmas letter this year - it was so cute!) and making gingerbread cookies and decorating the house and tree and making/buying presents for our family and friends and pets. I was 20 before I understood why there were so many religious Easter cards at Hallmark! We did/do Easter baskets, egg hunts, and a special dinner.
I think holidays are fun part of childhood (and adulthood!) I was not hurt/distrustful when I found out that Santa and the Easter Bunny were my parents - it was more like I felt grownup and smart to have figured it out. Then I enjoyed being a helper to keep the magic alive for my younger sister and brother.
DD1 is now 6 and has been asking (last year first time) about the reality of Santa. I did the "what do you think?" line. She will soon be my helper. I think if you go ahead with Santa, then when the time comes, let your child figure it out for themselves instead of you sitting them down and telling them it isn't real. I can see where that would be hard - maybe the kid isn't ready to discover that right then. When they are ready, they will notice the gift is wrapped in paper she saw in the closet or the handwriting on the card is yours or whatever. Made me feel like a smart kid when I figured it out!
Kirsten
post #30 of 30
I had sort of the opposite problem of a lot of people here....I was way past the age of belief, like nine or ten, and my parents still INSISTED that Santa was real and that the kids at school were lying to me when they said he wasn't. I couldn't bear the thought of my parents lying to me, so I insisted on believing. Caught a lot of crap from the kids at school for that.

With our kids we'll probably go the "it's just a nice story but it's fun to pretend" route.
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