Potty Situation/Advice please!

[SinginMamaTo2]

My DD is 4.5
She has been urinating on the potty for ages by herself.
Bowel movements - now that's a whole different story! She will absolutley NOT go on the toilet.
She actually goes to the trouble of putting on a pull-up, stands in the corner of the bathroom, calls me when she's done. We dump it in the toilet and I help her wipe.
We're tried every potty seat, we've sat with her for encouragment, we've left her alone for privacy, we've even bribbed her with toys!
Also, if she gets too uptight about it she gets super constipated and then we have to deal with that.
So, should we just let her work it out in her own time?
Is there a trick to helping her get over whatever this is?
Any advice or suggestions? PLEASE

[Lillianna]

Maybe you can do a "bye-bye" pull ups bit just like some people do with the pacifier.
Pick a day and tell her this is when there will be no more pull ups. Give lots of positive attention during this transition. Plan special dates and one-on-one time. Don't give the pull ups too much attention though. Just calmly state that after whatever day, there will be no more. I think she will use the toilet if she does not have a pull up.
Also, I'm sure if you just don't do anything, she will eventually start using the toilet on her own.

[425lisamarie]

Well, I know this is not what you want to hear but I am feeling slightly better knowing I' not the only one :

DS is 4 and I'm getting really tired of it. I don't act like it to him, but really I want him to use the potty for that. It's just getting too gross to me!! we stay positive about it, and suggest sometimes he try, and I figure he will, but i wish it would come sooner than later.

[bbtwins]

Oh I feel your pain...x2! I hope you get some good advice....I have a similar sitiation. My twin boys are 4.5 and have been wearing underwear during the day for the last year, peeing in the potty just fine. It's the pooping where I have a problem. I know they are capable of it - they both went 4 weeks without pooping in their underwear about 4 months ago, got their prize, they slowy reverted back to underwear pooping again. One stayed accident free a little longer, but soon followed his brother. Now they both say they don't want to poop in the potty and don't need any more toys. No bribing or sticker charts work anymore. I am so over this. I try to act non chalant and not make a big deal about it anymore because I think they were enjoying the attention that they got. Other than that, we don't have a lot of problems with these two - they are your typical boys but are good with eating, bedtime, picking up toys, school....not super rebellious or anything. Oh, and they never have accidents outside the home, and only with me or daddy - e.g. never at school or with a babysitter. They are very aware they should not be doing this. I don't know what to do! Will they eventually grow out of it?

[SinginMamaTo2]

Well it certainly is nice to know we're not alone!!!:
I was beginning to think I totally screwed up. Thank you.
We are going to try the "bye-bye" to the pull-ups. But she still needs the pull-ups for night time. So, I'm hoping that doesn't backfire. She's very smart and I can just imagine it now - "Why did we say bye-bye to the poopy pull-ups but not the night time pull-ups?"
Anyway, we're going to give it a shot. Here goes!

[AllisonR]

I might have a suggestion. Make them do ALL the work. If they poop in pull-ups or undies, don't get mad or cross, be totally neutral. But, at the same time, make them take responsibility of all the mess. It will take both of you 10 times longer, than you cleaning the mess yourself. But that is the point! They may quickly figure out what a waste of time it is, when they could be doing XY or Z. "OK, you pooped in your pants. You need to take them off. Now you need to rinse the poop off in the sink. Now please put the underwear in the washing machine. Now pick out new underwear. Put on your underwear. Put on your pants...." Any resistance along the way, just meet it with firm but neutral repeats to continue until the process is done. When poop is done in the toilet, then you help out more and without saying a word they will realize how much faster that was. And a kind, encouraging word never hurts.