how to talk to DS (4) about a burglary at our house

[425lisamarie]

Something awful happened this morning. Some people early in the morning vandalized our landscaping and stole several hundred dollars worth of our retaining wall bricks that we've spent weeks working on

We had to call police, it woke up both kids (DD a little over 2, DS a little over 4 years). I stayed in the house while DH talked to police, and the kids were in good spirits about it. I didn't say much, just talked to him about the talk we had a while back about people who steal things from others, how it's wrong etc.....but didn't really say much.

I didn't want to get in to too much as he is already going through a very parraoid stage. I took both kids to my mom's and they've had a great day, fun time at grandma and grandpa's as usual. DH and I had to rent a truck and move literally 3 tons of bricks in one day. So now i feel close to death, however things look relatively close to the way they did before this mroning, which is all I was concerned about since the kids adore their yard and are so proud at how much they have helped, especially DS. I feel like I should talk to him about it, or at least know what to say when he asks.

So what do I tell him? Bad men came and stole our stuff? I mean I don't want him to think anyone can ever hurt us, and we have a safe house. I've never had to think anything like this before and I'm feeling like : though I've been very positive around the kids, as has DH.

This is a crappy crappy day

[CB73]

What a lousy thing to wake up to! I'm sorry that happened to your family.

Our DS (5yo, next month) witnessed someone stealing his younger brother's flashlight at a Halloween public family event last fall. Despite the fact that he told me, I believed him AND confronted the culprit succeeding in getting the flashlight back; our son now worries endlessly about people (even friends!) taking things from him, from us. It is heartbreaking, really.

When it comes up, we have talked about how people can make different choices and sometimes bad decisions that affect those around them. We talk about yes, that man did take (little brother's) flashlight and it was not ok. We discuss needs, and what people will do when they feel 'needy'. We talk about how MOST people are kind and thoughtful and conscientious of our belongings and personal space, so we work hard to trust that those around us will make good decisions.

It stinks that our son is so fearful at times now. I really focus regularly with him on how we are SAFE. DH & I decided to introduce a concept of magic and how we protect our home & one another with love. I hope your DS can move through this and not get quite as 'stuck' as mine did.

[Maple Leaf Mama]

I'm really sorry you woke up to that.

Personally, I wouldn't say Bad men/people etc. That might sound too mysterious or boogymanish to your DS.

I might say something like-there are people (Like you) who work hard for what you have and get things because you saved and paid for it. Then there are people who don't want to work for their things.They take them from others instead because they think it is easier and don't care how it will make the people feel. It's wrong. It's against the law, and it makes the people they stole from sad. --Something along those lines.


The last few summers here, people have been coming to my neighbourhood and stealing landscaping plants. I don't know if it is for their own use or if they are reselling them. Either way, it bites. Plants are expensive. It takes time to choose them,plant them, nurture them-and then bam-you wake up to an empty hole. Much like you did. GRRRRR