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Could you be friends with someone who works for a formula company? - Page 2

post #21 of 175
Yes, I could.
post #22 of 175
Yes. I think it's wonderful to have a variety of friends.

It takes all kinds of people to make the world work.
post #23 of 175
I don't know...If I could be friends with I would be. But I don't seek out friends who make me angry, insult my parenting, don't have anything in common, can't have a nice conversation etc. *IF* she did those things I wouldn't be friends with her. If my cloth diapering breast feeding co-sleeping friend was mean to me or fought with me all the time, I wouldn't be friends with her either.

So yeah, if my friend (any friend) was all "ewww bf is gross, use this formula" i'd be all "hey, let's *not* get together next week!"
post #24 of 175
my best friend's husband works for a company that makes formula (among many other things). she has been one of my best ap/breastfeeding resources.
post #25 of 175
Quote:
Originally Posted by shanti1 View Post
Yes I could. I guess it wouldn't even cross my mind not to be friend w/her because of who she works for. I have plenty of friend who work for the government....and i have a lot more issues w/our government than i do formula companies.

who you work for does not define who you are.
Oh...I HAD to laugh after I read that one! ME too! I agree, I have friends who work a corporation in our town and the corporation is very corrupt and yet I am friends with them.
post #26 of 175
As long as they didn't harass me about BF and tell me how disgusting it is I would be fine. I don't really care where they work; I'm sure they are just trying to make a living.
post #27 of 175
I actually am friends with someone who works at a formula company. And she and I have NIPed several times together at outdoor festivals, etc. Where you work doesn't necessarily define who you are.
post #28 of 175
DH runs a cigar business and has been with the same company for almost 12 years. I know this is not remotely the same thing as formula, but I would hate to think that someone wouldn't be friends with him/us because they were opposed to/disgusted by cigars (and you know what, I actually think cigars are vile, and I work in public health).

So I agree w/ the PPs who said that they would not make the decision based on where someone works. However, if you find that this potential friend is not respectful of you and your choices, then it would worthwhile to question whether or not it's worth being friends.
post #29 of 175
I can't imagine why somebody's job would impact my friendship. It's possible that we wouldn't have much in common and therefore wouldn't reallly hit it off, or it could be that she's doing generic paperwork (or generic building maintenance, etc) that she could be doing for any kind of company.
post #30 of 175
Quote:
my best friend's husband works for a company that makes formula (among many other things). she has been one of my best ap/breastfeeding resources.
So does my own husband. Not going to be seeking a divorce anytime soon.
post #31 of 175
Yes, I could and would be. People are so much more than what they do to earn money.
post #32 of 175
Quote:
Originally Posted by dynamicdoula View Post
Um... it's a pretty sensitive time with food shortages/cost increases and gas being $5 a gallon to criticize someone for having a job. JMO. Would you seriously miss out on all the benefits of a possibly great friendship because of her *job?* It would not be worth a lonely existence (to me), just to have everyone I'm close to be in alignment with my values. Whatever happened to celebrating diversity?
This.

Quote:
Originally Posted by GooeyRN View Post
I could be friends, sure. Formula is a true need for many people. I could not be friends, though, if she tried to sway me to formula w/o medical reason, or if she tried to talk down bfing. A lot of people are not passionate about their job. I work for a hospital (currently on leave) that I do not receive services from, I go elsewhere. Just b/c I work there does not mean I support their practices, b/c I don't. I need a job that is family friendly and close to home, so it works for me.
And this.
post #33 of 175
yes...i would still be her friend
post #34 of 175
Friendly acquaintances & neighbors? Sure. Especially if they were pretty cool about my lactivism.

But, probably not BFF, especially if this is a chosen long-term gig. I can't imagine being that close with someone whose life work harms people
post #35 of 175
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaryJaneLouise View Post
Friendly acquaintances & neighbors? Sure. Especially if they were pretty cool about my lactivism.

But, probably not BFF, especially if this is a chosen long-term gig. I can't imagine being that close with someone whose life work harms people
I just cannot understand this. Yes, it is frustrating to many here anytime they see a mom feeding her child formula but at the same time you cannot deny that there are many babies that have depended on formula for survival. If you chose to not be friends with anyone who's life work harms people then there are millions of people who you would not be able to be BFF with - people who work in a peanut butter factory are a threat to all with nut allergies, same with dairy farmers to those with dairy allergies, the list goes on.
post #36 of 175
Yes, because I would not judge someone based on where they work. I am not a perfect human being.

I have had friends who were exotic dancers, worked in a cigarette factory, and in a distillery. I do not agree with the ideals that go along with these professions, but I would not fault anyone for working to pay their bills. I don't like to get calls from telemarketers and I certainly don't like to get calls from bill collectors, but I know people in both of those professions. Nice people, good friends.

For cripes sake, formula may not be what is best, but IMHO, there is a true need for it. The same cannot be said for cigarettes, strip clubs, and booze.
post #37 of 175
Quote:
Originally Posted by TCMoulton View Post
I just cannot understand this. Yes, it is frustrating to many here anytime they see a mom feeding her child formula but at the same time you cannot deny that there are many babies that have depended on formula for survival. If you chose to not be friends with anyone who's life work harms people then there are millions of people who you would not be able to be BFF with - people who work in a peanut butter factory are a threat to all with nut allergies, same with dairy farmers to those with dairy allergies, the list goes on.
You're right, my statement that you quoted was incorrectly broad. Let me try again

Of course artificial baby milks are considered by our modern society to be necessary. As a low supply mama, with twins, I did have to supplement with formula, since I did not have access to a milk donor my DH was comfortable with.

However, I would not choose to be a very close friend to someone who worked for a company that knowingly violated The International Code of Marketing of Breastmilk Substitutes . These companies include most human milk substitute manufacturers.
post #38 of 175
Yes, of course.
post #39 of 175
I could a persons job is just that a job is dosnt say what they believe in. For instance I am very much anti alcohol but I have family that drove beer trucks. Not something I would ever even consider but a job is a job.
post #40 of 175
I'm a hardcore radical unschooler, and one of my best friends, the goddmother of my eldest daughter, works for a standardized testing company. I am against vaccinations... and my other best friend works in a medical research lab, and some of the things she's been involved with have been vaccines.

So I assume that I could have a friend, even a very good one, who worked for a formula company. Or was an OB. Or a teacher. Obviously there would be areas where we weren't in agreement - which is where the principle of mutual respect comes into play. My friends are extremely respectful and supportive of my choices, and understand them. It is harder for me to be respectful of theirs, which is where you're at - but I think it comes down to some things:

What does she bring to your life, as a person? If she made you happy, before you found out about this... then it's not a deal-breaker, IMO.

What does she think about breastfeeding? Is she able to accept and support it? Is she negative about it? Is she curious and willing to learn more, or stuck in misinformation?

Is she involved in *marketing* the formula? That's where I'd have a big problem.
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