4 yr old birthday

[beru]

I am having a birthday party for my 4 yr old son. He has never had more than a small family party. I am interested in everyone's thoughts about my plans. For instance, what is the etiquette on certain things. (I am not overly concerned about meeting others' expectations, I just want to know what reactions I will get.)

My son wants a Thomas the Tank Engine party and I found a little Thomas shaped tent on clearance so that will work well. I am also getting a Thomas table cloth and cups, cake plates and 2 balloons. Besides that, the tableware and decorations will be primary colors-blue and red. I don't want to overdo it. I am inviting 16 kids! He wants many kids from daycare to come and I don't know how to not invite the whole class. We are having a "bagel" party in our back yard from 10 to noon. Bagels will be served right away (but not formally). They will be out and available as if they are appetizers. We have a couple of kiddie pools, the Thomas tent and a rocking large wooden playyard with a slide, fort and swings. I just want to let the kids play.

Here are my questions: Do I need to have some sort of structured activities? Should I have some other food, don't most kids like bagels? The cake will be served at 11:30. Would that bother you as a parent because it basically spoils lunch? I want to welcome the parents to stay but is it bad form to expect them to stay? (I have a couple who I know are planning on staying and helping. I have 6 adults confirmed.)

In the invitation, I will ask if any of the kids have allergies we should watch out for and I will mention that the kids should bring bathing suits. Is there anything else I am missing?

TIA for any input. I know I am overthinking this...

[LaughingHyena]

DDs party is in a couple of weeks and I'm still not sure what we are going to do. We are only having a few children (I think 4) with possible a couple of younger siblings.

Anyway we plan to hide some "treasure" in the sandpit for them to find. Buy a bubble machine for bubbles to chase and probably some sort of craft that they take home the results (I'm thinking about blank sun hats and fabric pens)

Food wise we are not having the party over a meal time so I'm just planning on chopped fruit, cupcakes and biscuits.

[Hoopin' Mama]

I think it sounds nice.
The kids will probably be too interested in playing than eating.
Cake at 11:30 doesn't bother me any.

At age 4 I can't imagine just dropping my child off at a party, especially if pools of water are involved. And I guess I would assume when I RSVP that if ds is coming the host knows I'm coming. I would have enough bagels for each parent.

Since swimming is involved, I don't think you need a planned activity. Two hours goes fast. But a pinata is always a fun activity. You can definitely find a Thomas one and fill it with stickers and fruit leather. Or candy

Since you are serving something light, I wouldn't even worry about asking about allergies. Very thoughtful of you though. Chances are, if one of the kids has a nut allergy your daycare would have already informed you.

[Hoopin' Mama]

Impromptu activities work also if you feel the need, like duck duck goose or simon says. My 3.5 yo still loves ring-around-the-rosie, but 4yo may be too cool for that

[littlechloesmommie]

My daughter is turning 4 in August, I hadn't even thought of counting the parents.. Of course they'll stay..I stay when my daughter goes to their parties..

I guess I need to plan a few more cupcakes

[MommaFox]

I'm sure you'll do fine! My son is going to be 7 in August, and we're fortunate enough to have a swinning pool at our apartment complex. I'm certain we'll have a Transformers cake, grey or silver plates and red cups. We'll probably have lots of snacks and I may grill some hot dogs out by the pool. Then cake and such. It's all good. At 4 I wouldn't worry too much. Kids pretty much want to play and run. It's thier party anyway, not the grown-ups.

[CalaRei]

I'd consider cutting up some of the bagels into bite sized pieces for dipping into things. Veggie dip, jams, cheezy stuff? That way every 4 year old doesn't just grab a whole bagel and eat 3 bites. It also allows you to taste all sorts of different things. Of course, still leave some whole for big appetites and grown ups. If I were doing it, I'd be sorely tempted to stack them up all cute like a pyramid.

I think it sounds like a fun party for a 4 year old, and the perfect time limit, too! If they're going to be doing more than just water balloons or running through a sprinkler, I'd consider printing out/laminating one of those "designated swimming supervisor" cards, and pass it off when the supervisor gets tired or needs a break, or at 15 minute intervals or something.

[Teensy]

I think your party will be fun and you are over-stressing!

I'd be surprised if more than one or two parents dropped-off their children at that age (and then probably because they are doing the kid shuffle getting another child to another activity). I also would expect at least 1/3 of the class to not be able to atttend (although I'd still plan for that many, just in case).

Having some back-up structured ideas in mind is not a bad idea, just in case (especially in case it rains), but I would assume the kids would mostly just run around playing.

Of course cake at birthday parties ruins the children's appetites for their next meal. And your point is . . .

Small bite-sized bagel pieces is a good idea. You could add a fruit tray if you wanted, but it's not needed.

Have fun!

[LuckyMommaToo]

I'd probably add the fruit salad and cheese sticks (a little protein). Your decorations and activities sound like tons of fun and perfect for the age. The only other thing I'd think about is -- are you okay with kids going inside to play? At our parties, at least some of the kids always migrate inside, and if you're not okay with that, you probably should put signs up ("The party is outside today!") on the doors or something.

Have fun! I loved my son's fourth bday.
-e

[DevaMajka]

My 4yo's birthday is in a week and a half. We just went to a friend's 5th b-day party. I wasn't planning on having any games, but it went so well at his friend's party that I think I'll have one or two.
They had musical chairs (no one is ever "out" one chair gets taken away each go-round, and they have to all fit on the remaining chairs. The last "chair" left was a big ottoman. The kids (especially the ones under 5yo) LOVED it!!)

My mom suggested having bubbles to blow, and having a fan to hold the bubble want in front of- it makes a LOT of bubbles, and is easier for kids who have trouble blowing bubbles.

I may also have a balloon bust- put a note in each balloon, have kids sit/stand/etc to bust them, and they have to do what's on the note ie: jump up an down, woof like a dog, whatever.

I was also considering a scavenger hunt type thing, but I'm not sure...

[LuckyMommaToo]

Water balloons are also a ton of fun if you're already doing water. We filled up a wagon with them beforehand. The rule was you could stomp or sit on them, or throw them at the walls/fence, but not each other. The kids loved it.
-e

[k9wife]

i to myself am about to plan a 4 yr old boy party. His first "friend" birthday.

I would have a few structured games for them to do.. there is a great website that will help give you some ideas per theme
http://www.birthdaypartyideas.com

[cedoreilly]

As far as parents staying, I would say expect that they are staying unless they have told you different. I have done a few drops with my older two for parties because they were weekdays and I did not want to bring uninvited kids along. I always made sure the parents were OK with it, though and would of had the kids not go if the parents were not cool with it.

I think at that age, you should be fine as far as just run around play activities. And the food, I doubt parents will mind.

[angela&avery]

for 4 year olds, that sounds fine.... also.... to be honest, i have found its EASIER when i dont have a slew of adults that need tending to... I like having just the kids.. but then, we dont usually have more than 10 kids at our parties... i dont have the room!!