Okay maybe the reality has finally set in after 10 months, or maybe because it is 5 in the morning and I have nothing else to think about, but the panic has set in.
What am I doing having a 3rd baby? My other 2 babies aren't babies anymore - they are independant and we have so much fun together! I was looking at my screensaver picture slideshow at all the great pics of us as a family of 4 and feel like maybe this was a mistake. Is it going to ruin our family dynamic? Are my girls gonna resent me or their brother? Will I be able to be as involved in their school or extra curricular activities?
crying.
Before DH and I started trying I had thought about this for a couple years and had to convince him - almost present him with a business plan, on how it would all "work", so i can't go to him with these fears or he will just say i told you so.
I had thought it all out. Poopy diapers....no sleep....I thought about it all and it all seemed so worth it. We even talked with our DD's before trying and asked how they would feel sharing a room for a while etc...And then DH said if it was meant to happen then it would happen right off the bat - which it didn't, but I talked him into another couple months of trying (happened the 3rd month) Don't get me wrong, he is excited to be having a son, but it was indeed a big decision to do this.
I know this will probably pass....does anyone else have a big age gap between this baby and their others and is feeling like - why did I decide to start over and what will this do to my family?
I know I will love this baby like crazy and so will everyone else. And I feel like because we have such a great family system that it should be nothing to throw another member into the mix. But I just had to vent, as this realization hits and I am up way too early with heartburn and I anticipate another day pregnant and having to try and be patient with my dd's fighting and thinking about how these are the last few days I have with just them and it makes me sad. Thank you for reading this far!
What am I doing having a 3rd baby? My other 2 babies aren't babies anymore - they are independant and we have so much fun together! I was looking at my screensaver picture slideshow at all the great pics of us as a family of 4 and feel like maybe this was a mistake. Is it going to ruin our family dynamic? Are my girls gonna resent me or their brother? Will I be able to be as involved in their school or extra curricular activities?
crying.
Before DH and I started trying I had thought about this for a couple years and had to convince him - almost present him with a business plan, on how it would all "work", so i can't go to him with these fears or he will just say i told you so.
I had thought it all out. Poopy diapers....no sleep....I thought about it all and it all seemed so worth it. We even talked with our DD's before trying and asked how they would feel sharing a room for a while etc...And then DH said if it was meant to happen then it would happen right off the bat - which it didn't, but I talked him into another couple months of trying (happened the 3rd month) Don't get me wrong, he is excited to be having a son, but it was indeed a big decision to do this.
I know this will probably pass....does anyone else have a big age gap between this baby and their others and is feeling like - why did I decide to start over and what will this do to my family?
I know I will love this baby like crazy and so will everyone else. And I feel like because we have such a great family system that it should be nothing to throw another member into the mix. But I just had to vent, as this realization hits and I am up way too early with heartburn and I anticipate another day pregnant and having to try and be patient with my dd's fighting and thinking about how these are the last few days I have with just them and it makes me sad. Thank you for reading this far!
Everything will be fine, once he gets here you'll wonder how you ever felt complete without him. Hang in there, not much longer!!
