Question for Mom's in custody battles

[saige]

Hi there.My freind is involved in a custody battle right now for her 4 year old.She has custody right now,her ex gets him on the weekends.The ex wants full custody.So does my friend.My belief is that he should stay with his mom.I am on her witness list to say she's a good mom.I don tknow her ex at all,only what she's told me.Here's the dilemma.What the heck do I say and not say? I want to be honest,but I dont want to mess up her chances either.She is a working mom (has no other choice ),and always feels stressed and resentful towards her son.She never wanted kids in the first place and seems to yell at him all the time.I know she loves him,and tries her best,but I'm not sure whether to just keep these things to myself if asked.What do you think?

[sarahwebb]

Saige,

Maybe I'm missing something here, but why does your friend want full custody? Why do you feel comfortable being a witness for her? You've described her as angry, resentful and yelling at her son, and you don't know her ex-husband. Do you feel that you know enough to testify in the best interests of the child?

Why do you think that he should stay with his mother?

Whether you feel comfortable answering these questions online or not, I hope you'll consider your decision to testify very carefully. And I'll keep you and your friend in my thoughts.

All the best,
Sarah

[laralou]

I agree with Sarah. That is a tough spot to be in.

[Thao]

Wow, that really is a tough position to be in. I'd like to add my .02 from my experience as a courtroom interpreter. I don't know if you've thought about what will happen when you actually get up on the stand, but remember that you will take an oath to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. If the ex's attorney asks you a question about her yelling (and you can bet he/she will) and you say you don't know, then you are lying. I suppose it's unlikely that anyone is going to put out the effort to prosecute you for perjury, but for me, it wouldn't be worth it to lie in a court of law even if my friend asked me to. It would feel wrong to me to break the oath.

I agree with the other momma's comments here, about whether or not the child is better of with her or with him. But it seems you can't know about that since you don't know him. The only thing you can know about is your own integrity.

Good luck in this very difficult position!