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If your twins were your first kiddos...

post #1 of 31
Thread Starter 
Did you have more children (or are you planning on more)? How far apart are they? I am mostly just being nosy - interested in other people's thought processes. My mz dds are 2.5 and some days I really want a third and some days I think I'd pull my hair out. I go around and around. So just interested in what others are thinking!

TIA!
post #2 of 31
We are done. My dh just got "fixed" last month. One major reason was my health, I wasn't suppose to have one baby, let alone twins with my med conditions but I did anyways. But I often think that even if I was healthy enough to have anymore, I don't think I would. Maybe when the twins were 5 and in school or something. But not any sooner then that...GL in your decision!
post #3 of 31
Our twins were our first and last. I was 33 when they were born, and it felt like it took 5 years just to recover from the pregnancy. If I were 10 years younger I might have felt differently... but I doubt it DH and I wanted 2 children - it was just a bonus that I was so efficient!
post #4 of 31
Thread Starter 
Thanks to you both!

angie7 - Best wishes with you health concerns!

nd_deadhead - that is also one of my concerns. I was 33 when mine were born and would be 35 (or more) if we have another. That does worry me...
post #5 of 31
I'm 35 now and because of DH's sperm issues we had to to IVF and I don't want to be shoving any more needles in my hiney especially what with my age the success rate drops off.

If some miracle happens and his 5 sperm manage to do something useful I'd take more. Some days. Some days I think I would rather eat glass.
post #6 of 31
I got pregnant again 3 days after my twins' third birthday. It's been fabulous. I love getting to experience a singleton, and having three children really is SO much easier than having two! The little one diffuses the tension between his big brothers. The age difference is pretty perfect (3 years, 9 months). I don't think I'd have wanted them much closer together.

We're getting ready to try for number 4 (not my uterus this time) . . . I never could have stopped with just the twins!

Lex

ETA: I was 22 when my twins were born, so maybe that does make a difference.
post #7 of 31
My twins are 2.5 and they were my first (and second). We had two embryos left over from that IVF cycle and we recently tried to have another but we were not successful. I'd love to have another but it is not in the cards for us.
post #8 of 31
My ID twin boys were my first children. They were 13 months old when our singleton DD was conceived and 21 months when she arrived. The twins are now nearing six years old and my DD will be four in a month.

I was 18 when the boys were conceived, 19 when they were born. I was 20 when my daughter was conceived and 21 when she was born.

I had my surro son this past March at age 24, though that doesn't count so much being he's not mine, lol!

I wouldn't change a thing.
post #9 of 31
My boys were my first (and I was a single mama to boot!) and when I met my dh, we both talked about our desire for a large(r) family. We went on to have two more kids -- singletons, thank goodness.

My boys are 2y2m older than dd1 and I think that spacing is a LITTLE close. The boys were not very verbal and were still very very attached at that age, so it was a huge shock for all of us. I do not recall dd1's first few months very fondly : However, dd2 has really nice spacing, imo, she is 2.5y younger than dd1. So, when she was born I had two 4yo and a 2.5yo.

I definitely prefer spacing that is closer to 3y, but I think we're done now!
post #10 of 31
I definitely want more kiddos, but I don't know if it will ever happen. I was almost 34 when my twins were born, and because of the difficult pregnancy I had, and the difficulty "4th trimester" issues, I got my tubes tied off. I have always felt strongly that I want to adopt, though, so that is still in the back of my mind. I would probably even request twins, since I would at least know what I am getting into!

But any future children will not be grown by me.
post #11 of 31
My baby-having days are over now. My boys were born just a couple of weeks before I turned 22. They had just turned 4 when dd was born. The only thing that was not great was that I continued to work nights until she was about 6 mos old.
post #12 of 31
My twins are from IVF. We'd talked here and there hypothetically about having a third & wondering if we'd do IVF again. My girls were still nursing & I wouldn't do IVF until they'd weaned, so we weren't really thinking about it. I had a surprise pregnancy right after the girls turned 2.

I spent my whole pregnancy with Ian ambivalent. While I was very happy to be pregnant and glad he was a singleton, I wondered how I was going to handle it. One of my twins is really a handful. I felt completely overwhelmed by them some days, and still do.

Ian has been just a dream. He's a pretty mellow little guy, though, and if he'd been high needs, I might have different feelings about our situation. He's generally happy, loves to be worn, nurses well, is able to sleep on me out and about and is a snuggly little co-sleeper. I didn't co-sleep with my twins for very long and did not wear them nearly as much as I wear Ian, so it's been a nice experience for me to mother one. It's been easier for me to have one mellow infant plus two not mellow preschoolers than it was to have two infants.

But, if we'd just had twins I would have been happy with that, too. After two years of TTC and countless shots, ultrasounds and tearful moments wondering if I'd ever be blessed with children, they're a dream come true.

We do toss about the idea of a fourth, mostly because neither of us are willing to do any permanent birth control, but I don't think I could handle 4, really. DH works a lot and I'm 37! I think we're done. Maybe when the girls are in school, assuming we don't home school.
post #13 of 31
My daughters are also MZ and also 2.5, but we're not planning to have any more kids. I'm 38, we don't have more room in this house, and we probably can't afford another child without me working a heck of a lot more, which doesn't seem like a great idea combined with another kid.

Anyway, my family feels complete to me. Sometimes I think about a 3rd, but I mostly just want a normal pregnancy/nursing experience, and that's not a good reason to bring a life into this world, IMO.
post #14 of 31
Thread Starter 
Wow - thanks for all of the interesting stories. It is great to read how everyone has reached their decisions.

One of my biggest worries is that a singleton would feel left out. Have any of you with a younger singleton had any issues with that?

Thanks for letting me be nosy
post #15 of 31
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by OGirlieMama View Post
My daughters are also MZ and also 2.5, but we're not planning to have any more kids. I'm 38, we don't have more room in this house, and we probably can't afford another child without me working a heck of a lot more, which doesn't seem like a great idea combined with another kid.

Anyway, my family feels complete to me. Sometimes I think about a 3rd, but I mostly just want a normal pregnancy/nursing experience, and that's not a good reason to bring a life into this world, IMO.
These are many of our same concerns - house is too small (we live in tiny 2/1 right now), car too small, finances too small. My girls are just a little bit older than yours, they were preemies, and we EP'd for a long time too. So I am sure part of this is my desire to have a "normal" experience too. There are many good reasons for us to not have another, I guess I just don't have that feeling that we are complete!
post #16 of 31
my sons turned 4 last month aand we found out we are expecting # 3 the next day. i only recently started to feel like we were ready to expand our family. mostly because the boys will be starting preschool this year, and around the time the baby is 6 months old they'll be in full day kindergarten so i'll have plenty of time to devote to the new baby. the first 6 months promise to be interesting though. preschool is only 2 1/2 hours each afternoon and by the time the baby is 2 months old that will be ending so we'll have to look into some summer activities for the twins, i guess.

i'll be 35 when the new baby is born, we might have a 4th but we'll have to see how we handle 3 first
post #17 of 31
I have a thing about 2 kids - it's replacement number for DH and I... thinking about Earth's carrying capacity here. I don't really want to be pregnant or give birth again, though a single baby would be a nice experience. anyway, i'm hoping we stay at 2
post #18 of 31
I had number 3 when the twins were 17 months old and then number 4 when they were almost 4 years. Number three actually thinks he is should be treated as a triplet and refuses to be left out. Now they are older, I am like the close spacing of the older three because they are all VERY close. As far as the first few years, the spacing I had with number 4 was much better. They were all so much more independant!
post #19 of 31
DH had the big V, so my twins are my first and last. I would love to have 2 more kids, but DH is very big on being able to give our children everything in terms of attention and education. Ideally I'd have another set of boy/girl twins but unless his little vas deferens reunite and my body decides to start ovulating, that's not gonna happen! We made the big V decision together, but I'd be lying if I say I wish he hadn't done it.
post #20 of 31
My third son is 13 months younger than my MZ girls (whoops!) and my second set is 25 months younger than my middle son (BIG WHOOPS!) I definitely don't recommend having five kids in THREE years, but I'm glad we have our kiddos so close. This one will be 3 1/2 years younger than my second set. It's fun to watch them play together, but still somedays I think I'm going to lose it. And some days I really do!

I think you have to plan what works for you, but it sounds like you were just curious about the rest of us anyway.
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