i'm scared

[slave2myprincess]

i find myself slowing backing out of my plans to have an UC. i'm not scared about labor its more like the procedure of what happens after labor. Should i take my baby to the pediatrician or hospital. What if the pediatrician gives me a hard time or refuses my baby care.Should i schedule a check up with my cnm even tho she didn't deliver my baby? What if she refuses ? How should i tell my cnm that i had a homebirth. i need a check up with her because i had some issues with my cervix for got pg. (I feel that would be an akward situation) i have so many questions and i live in such a small area that i do not know where to get support. Everytime i think about having my baby in the hospital i become disappointment. i recently got in touch with a CPM just to have another option and she is charging 1500 for the birth and 200-250 for travel (gas). She lives an hour away and only wants to do the births in her home. She sounds nice but with money being an issue and having to travel with a diabetic toddler it just doesnt seem like an option. Any support ? if anyone wants to chat via cell phone please PM ME !!!

[paphia]

Why don't you ask the CPM if she also does newborn exams as follow-up? The PKU should be done around 5-7 days so you could take the baby in for a once over that way if you want to go that route. FWIW, I told my ped 'homebirth' and they didn't ask who attended. I would give it some time and consideration, but if that's what you're worried about, I don't think it's a reason to have to drop your UC plans. Just familiarize yourself with your rights, and make sure you don't involve anyone with your UC who might muck it up. Good luck!

[Nan'sMom]

For the ped you can just say you did a homebirth, no need to specify UC. If the ped asks for the mw's name you can say to the ped that you can't give it out because she's a DEM,

[Happyucmama]

For me personally, both times I have told people that I had them UC I get more of a impressed response than anything else. Most of the time other questions follow but I just answer then with a big smile and with confidence that I made the best and safest decisions for us. I have never had it go any farther than that. What state do you live in?

[UnassistedMomma]

Originally Posted by Happyucmama

For me personally, both times I have told people that I had them UC I get more of a impressed response than anything else. Most of the time other questions follow but I just answer then with a big smile and with confidence that I made the best and safest decisions for us. I have never had it go anyfrther than that. What state do you live in?

I have found that if I tell people while I'm pregnant, they are horrified and may say offensive things about it.

If I tell them while the UC baby (now toddler) is playing around my feet, they are quite impressed! Too late to tell me he's going suffer great harm from me doing UC at that point I guess!! lol

[Devaskyla]

You could just go to a gp for a newborn check-up, if you want/need someone to do one. They're a lot more laid back that peds & you wouldn't have to worry about the midwife payment situation. Thanks to the health nurse, the gp I saw with ds2 already knew I'd had a UC and he was ok with it.

[ZoeyZoo]

Originally Posted by paphia

give it some time and consideration, but if that's what you're worried about, I don't think it's a reason to have to drop your UC plans.

I had the same reaction when I went to the ped. I said she was a HB and he just said "So that's why I haven't seen her before".

[akaisha]

i second (third, forth?) the stay away from peds. family doctor it up, or better, naturopathic doctor if you have any in your area. unless something is wrong with baby you do not have to take him/her to a doctor right after birth. do not go to a hospital after birth unless you have to (ie, it's an emergency). they will force you to admit the baby and cause you no end of grief.

take baby to your GP or an ND within a week or so if a newborn check is something that you want to do.

oh yeah, BREATHE. it will be ok mama. don't be scared, everything is going to be fine. s

[eeolyn]

I really understand your fears. It is something on my mind as well. For me the problem is that I live in Romania, and nobody here has heard of UC, and there are NO midwives. The concept does not exist here. It is all hospital for everybirth. They don't do c-sections here as often as in US, and you can walk around all you want because the techology is way behind and can't monitor every mom. But it is a horrible place to give birth. They don't let you eat, they give you enemas and put you on one of those terrible beds to give birth. Not to mention the dirt, the way hospitals look here. It was so fun to find out you can take a shower in the hospitals in US. Here there are a few rooms for the privileged which have showers, other than that zero. So I have been researching about birth for over a year now (not pregnant, just thinking about having babies in the near future), so I decided to try UC. But because nobody here knows about it, it is going to be very difficult to deal with doctors. I am still thinking how to deal with it. A possibility was to UC and then call an ambulance and tell them it just happened, but that means we'll have to go to the hospital. If I don't do it like this I have no idea how will I get the piece of paper acknowledging the birth for the birth certificate. And it goes on. On the other hand I am decided about UCing and have my husband's full support which is great. But the concern is there bugging me.
So hang in there. Look inside yourself and see if you really want to UC or not and I'm sure you'll find a solution. And whatever it is that you choose I'm sure it will be the best option.
Even if I can't give you any practical advice, I truly undestand your problem and am thinking of you. Lots of courage and let's hope somebody can help you.

[logcabinmomma]

I also don't go anywhere for anything unless there is something wrong. If there was something I thought needed checked with baby, I'd go to the DO down the street who does family medicine. If something was wrong with me, I'd consult with a local midwife for advice. I wouldn't blankly walk into a Drs office, hospital or ped's office though.

Nothing to be scared of though!

-Kristi

[slave2myprincess]

thanks for all the advice ladies. i'm still sorting everything out. i havn't made up my mind just yet. But i've been having a strong vibe that is saying this isn't for me but i know its just out of fear. Maybe that will change as time winds down.

[Whollydevoted]

I told my pediatrician in advance I was planning to have a home birth (left the UC part out...but she figured that out on her own). I asked her months before delivery what I'd have to do after the baby was born. She insisted that I take him to the ER the day following the birth for the eye gel and a vitamin K shot. I didn't feel like arguing it, so that is what we did. I told the ER staff our ped was on board and we were just doing what she told us to. We were in and out within 45 minutes and I got a whole slew of compliments from the nurses about how amazing I was.

The one drawback to this course of action was that my pediatrician is a former OB/gyn. She called me up a few days before my due date begging me to go to the hospital when I went into labor. I told her I would consider it, which I did. I called a couple hospitals in the area and asked them about their policies and what they'd be willing to compromise on. I didn't get satisfactory answers so that option was ruled out for me.

I called her after the hospital visit to schedule a one week check-up. When I came in for that she was full of questions (quizzing me on my knowledge, more than anything). She thought it was awesome that I actually did it, and everything went well. I thought that it all went really smoothly considering other horror stories I've hear about CPS getting involved. I had to stand my ground a little, but most things worth doing don't come about with total ease.

[slave2myprincess]

i'm still considering it. I'm just not trying to stress over it now. i'm just going to see how i feel when the time gets closer.

[Whollydevoted]

Originally Posted by slave2myprincess

i'm still considering it. I'm just not trying to stress over it now. i'm just going to see how i feel when the time gets closer.

That's a good course of action...don't do it unless you feel completely comfortable with it. Do what you feel is best for you.

[SublimeBirthGirl]

Went to the ER for vit K and eye goop after a normal UC? You must really like your doctor. I can't imagine doing that.

[MI_Dawn]

I thought that it all went really smoothly considering other horror stories I've hear about CPS getting involved.

I've been considering UC... but the mention of CPS made my blood run cold. What stories?

[Whollydevoted]

Originally Posted by birthtenders

I've been considering UC... but the mention of CPS made my blood run cold. What stories?

On another UC board there have been a few moms running into issues when some would-be-do-gooder found out about the plans for a UC. I also had a friend who had a run in with them after her UC here in Maryland because she didn't take the baby to the hospital. She got charged with neglect...however, in this case, the baby was born at 36 weeks and weigh 4.5lbs. Other than the size, though, it was a perfectly healthy baby.

[Whollydevoted]

Originally Posted by SublimeBirthGirl

Went to the ER for vit K and eye goop after a normal UC? You must really like your doctor. I can't imagine doing that.

A few months before a friend of mine nearly lost her baby to CPS after a UC. I wasn't risking any chances of someone getting their panties in a wad and snagging a neglect charge...like my friend did. And, I don't personally have a big issue with the vit K injection, anyway.

[flapjack]

I would ring your CNM the day you give birth, or the day after giving birth if it happens overnight, to say "whoops, we had a baby. That was fast." and at that point, see where she suggests you go from there. If it's anything involving admission as an in-patient, refuse.

[slave2myprincess]

Originally Posted by birthtenders

I've been considering UC... but the mention of CPS made my blood run cold. What stories?

I've heard the stories as well and that is when i began second guessing my decision to UC. i live in a small town and i feel like with my luck i would have some drama lol. But i have just thought about calling the CNM saying " hey i had the baby, labor was real fast (labor with my dd was 21 hard hours). And then see what she says. I would probably ask could a nurse come see the baby in the home. With my first i had a visiting nurse come to check on my dd's jaundice and weight after we left the hospital. I would only go to the hospital if i knew that i wouldn't have to stay. I had to stay 3 days after giving birth my to my first and i was so miserable.