Home alone

[onlyzombiecat]

At what age would you feel comfortable leaving your child home alone?
Note- Alone means one child with no supervision- no neighbor home checking in, no siblings.

When do you feel it is generally okay for a parent to leave a child alone while they go to the store (longer than 20 minutes), do errands or have lunch/dinner with a friend?

I realize it varies based on the child's personality and how responsible they are but maybe there is an age or other developmental mark when you'd feel comfortable leaving most kids totally on their own?

ETA- Apparently the guideline for minimum age for a child to be home alone in my state is 12 years but it isn't a law.
Some states have guidelines as low as 8 years. Many have neither a guideline or a law.
http://www.latchkey-kids.com/latchke...age-limits.htm

[pantufla]

In Washington state the law says you have to be 13 to be left home alone without parents, and then I think it's only for a few hours at a time.

[onlyzombiecat]

pantufla- If there wasn't a law what age would you feel comfortable leaving a child home alone?

[pantufla]

Heh, my kids aren't anywhere close to being left alone yet (they're 3 1/2 and 1 1/2) -- but my neighbor decided to leave her very responsible daughter at home alone for an hour or two after school when the daughter was 12. And I have to say that I agreed with her, even though it was younger than what state law "allows". This girl is extremely responsible -- I usually have her watch my kitties when we go out of town.

So, I guess my answer is, it depends on the kid and the situation. A responsible 12 year old, sure. An irresponsible 14 year old, not so much...

[UptownZoo]

My eldest son was almost 14 before he was ready. My DD was ready at 12. My SS likely won't be ready until he's 14 or 15, like my eldest.

[Embee]

Originally Posted by pantufla

In Washington state the law says you have to be 13 to be left home alone without parents, and then I think it's only for a few hours at a time.

Thanks for this... I'm in WA and wasn't aware of the this law. DS is only 7 1/2 and not anywhere near being (or wanting to be) left alone but it's nice to have this information. That said, I know plenty of people who have left their kids alone starting at age 10, 11 for a little here and there, not for long periods. It's strange to think but when I was 13, I started babysitting and had been staying at home along for a few hours at a time for several years (latch key kid). Things have certainly changed.

For me, 12 or 13 sounds good, for small spells anyway. It's hard to imagine it now...

Em

[reece19]

I was pretty comfortable leaving mine home alone (together) for a couple of hours when they were 8 and 9.

If they were actually alone, with no sibling, I would have been comfortable with the older being home alone by age 9, but the younger probably would be closing in on her 10th birthday before I could trust her judgement. Together, though, they balance each other out.

They are 10 and 11 now and this is the first summer they have been allowed to stay home alone all day.

Like you said...it's more about the maturity level, so I couldn't pick a uniform age to guess for all kids. When I felt like I could trust my kids to make decent choices for a couple of hours (not answering the door, not playing with the stove, know when to call 911, etc), then I was comfortable leaving them home alone.

[Mallory]

I think for most kids between about 8-10, if they are alone, probably older if they have other brothers or sisters there.

Since dh is home all day alseep (he works nights), I rarely even have the possibility of leaving anyone home alone, but the 7 and 8 yo do stay home with dh asleep.

Either or both of them stay at home alone in the evenings (for 2-3 hours) with my 12yo sister, but again, I don't feel comfortable leaving her alone with the 2 yo for much longer then about 30 min.

My brother and I were home alone before school, after school and all summer starting when we were in the 2nd and 3rd grades. I don't feel that my boys are any less capable or our town is more dangerous than we had to deal with then.

[jeca]

My oldest is 10 and I'm not comfortable leaving him home alone. He has asked many times but I don't think so yet. I have once let him stay home while I dropped DD off at class when DH was on his way home so it was an overlap of about 10 minutes. I think that's the extent of my comfort zone. While DS is very smart he's not very mature he's still scared of things that go bump in the night and such and I could see him calling 911 because he thinks he saw a Dementor outside his window or something.

[jjawm]

Our boys are 9 and 11. I'll leave them alone for up to 3 hours together. The older one I would leave by himself, the younger one, not yet.

I made sure they knew how to use the phone, how to NOT answer the phone or door, how to reach me or their dad in an emergency.

They're very responsible kids, especially the older one.

[primjillie]

Not before 12 or 13 ~ I just don't think any younger is capable of dealing with emergencies that may pop up. Since I had three very close in age and worried about fighting, etc., I didn't leave them all alone until the oldest was at least 13 or 14. My granddaughter is almost 7 and I can't imagine her staying alone for many years and she is very mature for her age. Not worth the risk to me at all. I'm not one to think the worst, but it isn't worth leaving your most precious possession.

[katheek77]

Depends on the kid and the environment (ie...where you live, how close relatives are, the length of time).

Depending on the child, I could see 8 or so. I was staying alone by that age, babysitting by 11/12, and our babysitter when we were little was 11/12, as well, so, I find it odd when people think that's the minimum for even staying home alone, but, that's just me. Obviously, it depends on circumstances and how mature the child is.

[jjawm]

Also, we live in a suburb with neighbors around all the time, whom we know and trust. We have rules, such as no going out front, keeping doors locked, ect. The boys are really good about following the guidlines we set, because they know if they don't they won't be allowed to stay at home alone in the future.

[ChickityChinah]

I think it very much depends on your particular child/children. My DS is 10 and I have been leaving him alone for anything from a few minutes to an hour or two since last year. We have never left him alone when it isn't daylight, of course. He is very responsible and I feel he's mature enough to follow the ground rules I set- which are: 1) only answer the phone if it's someone he knows , 2) no leaving the house for any reason, 3) no friends IN the house and 4) no answering the door, period. I call and check in on him and we've never had a single issue.

As far as leaving him w/ DD- I'm still a loooong way off on that one. She is 2 1/2 and the way the two of them interact I honestly cannot see him being ready to babysit for her until he's at least 14, lol.

Like a lot of others have posted, I was babysitting other kids by the time I was 11/12, but do tend to think that at that age girls really do mature earlier than boys.

[ebethmom]

Like you said, it definitely depends on the kids. I can see my kids staying at home for short stints at 13 and 10.

I remember one incident that happened when I was at home with my brothers and cousins. I think I was as old as 14. My cousin swung a baseball bat and caught my brother in the side of his face. I KNOW that I didn't check him well enough. I was too freaked out! I basically did nothing, just waited until my Mom got home. She took him to the ER and he had several stitches on the inside of his cheek.

I was a responsible kid, and I babysat all the time. But the blood and the sight of my younger brother hurt just paralyzed me.

I still feel bad about it.

I think my point is that even responsible kids can run up against something that is too much for them to handle. There should be some sort of back up plan discussed before they are left alone - who to call, what to do in an emergency . . .

[greenmama]

I will leave my 8yo with my 3 yo gdd for an hour when I am on the land, but just not with them (ie: milking the cow, or in the garden) In that situation I am available if a true emergency comes up, but not immediately available. I will leave my 8yo for up to an hour during the day (w/o 3yo) if I have to run off the land, but this is living in an intentional community where all the neighbors are trusted friends. In a true pinch, there is a coffee shop in town that is owned/run by her drama teacher and she is completely safe being dropped off there with a book to read and money for a smoothy for up to three hours- other friends/drama homeschoolers are in and out all day.
I love where I live and I love my responsible dd.

[SAHDS]

Originally Posted by pantufla

In Washington state the law says you have to be 13 to be left home alone without parents, and then I think it's only for a few hours at a time.

That's incorrect. DH is a deputy (Pierce County - WA state) and there are no actual laws set in place. It's more of a guideline dealing with a child's maturity and responsibility level. He's actually gone to the county's legal advisor asking if there were laws and was told no, that it was a case by case decision and is more of a judgement call.

Here's what I found about national laws:

According to the National Child Care Information Center, there are no existing laws that address leaving children unattended at home. The only two states that have developed laws regarding leaving children by themselves are Illinois and Maryland. Guidelines are usually available through County offices to give parents an idea about what to know and expect when leaving children home alone. Otherwise, it is up to the parent to decide when a child is ready to be home alone.

For me, DD (9) is a very mature and responsible child, but I would never leave her alone (or with DS who is almost 8) right now. We live in an extremely safe area, it is really quiet and we (all 4 of us) know our neighbors. I'm not sure when I'll be ready to leave them alone, or when they'll be ready.

[phathui5]

I'm thinking around nine or ten.

[primjillie]

I'm surprised how many people mention their "safe neighborhood" and great supportive neighbors. But what if something happened in the home and they couldn't get to the neighbors? Or in the space that something happened, it would be too late for the neighbors to notice (fire on the stove, bad cut with a knife or glass, fall, seizure, etc)? I know these things can happen when a parent is home or can still happen to an older child, but my fear is a younger (younger than 12 or 13) would have the maturity or the foresight to know what to do, no matter how mature you think they are. Do you leave your child because you have to, because they don't want to go with you, or you just don't want to take them with you? It was a pain sometimes, taking all three with me, but I always felt better.

[babytimeagain]

I would say probably 12 for a girl, 14 for a boy as they seem to mature later lol It just depends on the kid SO much..I don't think there is a correct answer.