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NEW: at & over 40 with little ones Tribe UPDATED - Page 13

post #241 of 407
OOhh, please add me to this tribe! I've been looking for you all!
~Billie 41
post #242 of 407
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by THANKFULFORFIVE View Post
OOhh, please add me to this tribe! I've been looking for you all!
~Billie 41
Billie!! WoW FIVE, you're a lucky mama : :

adding you to the front page now. Glad you're here



-Kate
post #243 of 407
Quote:
Originally Posted by mammal_mama View Post
I'm glad you're here, Jenny! But what do these letters stand for? --
I believe she means "Grand Multipara of Advanced Maternal Age."

Jenny, I'm another one of your "fans" as you know; I'm glad to see you here even though you are a little kid of 39.

I'm less than a month away from 44; that seems so much older than 43 and TTCing to birth after 45 seems like.....well, a crazy fantasy!

I am so, so glad I went ahead and had my little boy when I did even though my circumstances weren't perfect. The thought of a world without him in it makes me shuidder.
post #244 of 407
Quote:
Originally Posted by noordinaryspider View Post
I believe she means "Grand Multipara of Advanced Maternal Age."
This is it! I have been called that for my last two babies, and I have not even passed the 40 year mark.

I shutter to think what they will call me in a couple of years when I get pg.

Really Grand Multipara of Very Advanced Maternal Age.
post #245 of 407
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kidzaplenty View Post
This is it! I have been called that for my last two babies, and I have not even passed the 40 year mark.

I shutter to think what they will call me in a couple of years when I get pg.

Really Grand Multipara of Very Advanced Maternal Age.
post #246 of 407
Welcome THANKFULFORFIVE
post #247 of 407
Hello,
Please add me to the list.

To use a mixed metaphor, DD1 was the buzzer beater that put me into overtime.

I am 43. I had 4 1/2 yo DD1 when I was 39. The ObGyn kept reminding me of the risk factors for my age and when I said I was only 38 he pointed out --in a very solemn tone-- that I would be 39 when I had her.

The advanced maternal age was even more of an issue with DD2. She is 2 1/2 (22 months younger than her sister) and I had her a couple of months before my 41st birthday. When going in for the ever more frequent non-stress test towards the end they would ask the routine question, "why are you here" and I would simply say "because I'm ancient".

If I had more time energy and money I wouldn't mind a third but at the ripe old age of 43 1/2 I think I'm done, but very grateful for the two that I have.

~Cath
post #248 of 407
Quote:
Originally Posted by CathMac View Post
they would ask the routine question, "why are you here" and I would simply say "because I'm ancient".
I will have to remember this one!
post #249 of 407
Thread Starter 
CathMac - Glad you're here!

I updated you to the front page.

And...I'll be 44 this month and I know I'm not done : I keep telling myself...there's great eggs left, there's great eggs left, and clicking my heels three times each day Has to work, right?
post #250 of 407
Just wondering. Where does everyone see themselves as their last child "finally" grows up?

Me? I just told #1 that I expect to be 69 and pg! Wouldn't that be a sight?

But really, I know my Mom did not hit minipause until around age 55. So that means I could have another 15 YEARS of having babies! :

And if I follow my "every other year" that means seven more? Sounds really fun!

But, one day, I want to be "Gramma", and I want my children's children to beg to come to my place to sit and watch me bake pies and cakes, and sit on my lap as I read them stories. I want to give them the whole "Grandmother" package that I never got.

And with my oldest being 18, It could be much closer than I think!
post #251 of 407
i'm looking forward to being "Gramma" too. It's a different kind of "baby hunger" and Terran's birth didn't make it go away. One problem is that I don't have very many kids so I only have one dd. I'll be thrilled to have grandbabies by my sons and hope that they are involved fathers, but that's not the same as a matrilinear grandbaby, kwim?

I was a SAHM/homeschooling parent until ds was fifteen (her's now seventeen) so I already know how the mainstream world will judge me. I'm sure I'll be firmly planted outside the mainstream by then and, with the threat of CPS removed, will undoubtedly kick up my heels a bit: go back to volunteering with Food not Bombs, buy some land and live in an alternative shelter (travel trailer, cabin, , etc.) that I'd be skeered to live in with a minor child, travel, get arrested for civil disobedience, heck, follow the Grateful Dead's grandbabies if I want to or hitchhike to Wisconsin and Hawaii since I already thumbed my way around the other 48 in my teens and 20s.

I also want to write and sell some sort of craft/artwork, even if I only make enough to buy the materials for my next project.

I'd like to sort out my sexuality, even if it requires some sort of psychotherapy, and experience a completely self-indulgent love affair that doesn't have to last and doesn't have to be in my kids' best interest.

I want to build a desktop PC from scratch and learn a bit of programming (Linux, not windoze).

I'll be pretty close to 65, even if Terran is my last, so I'd just as soon wait until then to go back to school so i won't have to pay tuition.

I'm sure I'll find plenty of trouble to get into and adventures to have, I'm just so not ready for it NOW and thank the heavens every day for this brief reprieve. I didn't like "not having children" when my younger teen was living on the streets and adult dd and I were too busy working multiple crappy part time minimum wage jobs to interact with each other much.

It's an interesting perspective. I still WOH with Terran along in a carrier and still volunteer and really don't feel deprived of the things I can't do with a baby in tow. Now that I have a "busy busy toddler" and am entering those years where mamas almost never sit down, I still can't think of anything In really want to do that i can't that i don't mind waiting for.

There are people in my life who i haven't told about Terran because they would not be supportive. The life they think I live sounds so sad: that of an overworked, self-loathing "crazy cat lady" in a navy polyester pantsuit and "little old lady poodle-doo" with a pocket ful of regrets who resembles me far less than she does Eleanor Rigby in the Beatles song by the same name.

So I guess what i'm trying to say is that I've seen the grass with my own two eyes and it really isn't greener.
post #252 of 407
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovbeingamommy View Post
claras_mom - sorry to hear Dd was not feeling well on Christmas. : ( I'm glad she enjoyed her presents and by now she's probably back to her old self. What type of camp was it - a daycare camp? just curious
It was a combination of art, music, and dance--masterminded, I think, by a KidzArt and a Kindermusik franchise here in town, probably to help promote a combination class starting after the holidays. But both have studios in an art center that also has dance (one of the local independent studios) so there was also that. Dd liked it, but not the dance part--go figure! she loves the dance teacher who comes to her daycare each week--and really didn't want me to be gone the whole time. Soooo, I ended up running errands, then hanging out in the (very cold) hallway for the rest of the time. And she's once again declined to be enrolled in any kindermusik class, even though I offered the art/music thing. It's really hard to consider forcing the issue on something that can be such a big ongoing expense.

I had the idea that after more than a week at home with dh and I, away from her normal routine and friends, she'd enjoy a change--and I'd enjoy the time to myself--but basically it was a draw. I think that three hours (total), with lots of movement in the music portion, and then a hip-hop sort of thing for an hour at the end, was just too much. Too loud, too tiring, too much, especially since she was still kind of getting over the cold (or flu) she'd had the week before.


Quote:
Originally Posted by PassionateWriter View Post
im still around adn this has NOTHING to do w/ the fact that im 40 but man, having 2 little ones and tandem nursing is HARD. seriously. what was i thinking?
Dd is slowing down, but I've a feeling I'll be doing some tandem nursing, something I never even imagined four years ago. My second is due in April (I'm 44, by the way; 45 in July), and we've had some long talks about who gets first dibs and why....I just hope I can survive it.
post #253 of 407
Hi everyone,

I think I need to be here. I'm 41 & just entering peri-menopause & it sucks. I feel like I'm 91. DS3 just stopped nursing, at my insistance & I feel like I've gotten worse since weaning. Anyone else?

DH & I are very happy with our 2, DD is 5 yrs old, but since hitting the change, I can't quite get over the fact that my days of *possibly* being pregnant are closing in...UGH

Anyhow, just looking for a common group. Thanks.
post #254 of 407
ZanZansmommy, I understand. I had DD when I was 44, I'll be 48 next month. She is still nursing (though I believe my supply is very low). She has severe food allergies, so I have not pushed the weaning. I started having hot flashes this summer and periods are all but gone. There have been some recent discussion on health and healing forum. I do take Evening primrose oil (took for her skin and got added benefit for me). I added Magnesium and have had fewer and less intense hot flashes. At least, this phase of my life will be over before my 10 yo DS starts hitting puberty.
post #255 of 407
I keep hoping I'll have periods a while longer so my dd's and me can experience them together.

But if they start at 12 like I did, that'll make me 48 when dd1 starts and 53 when dd2 starts. I guess it's not impossible.
post #256 of 407
Thread Starter 
Oh no, don't scare me with menopause :. I know it's different for everyone, but doesn't it generally come around the time that your mom experienced hers? I have no signs of anything yet a almost 44 and still regular 28-30 day cycles. I hope that's a good sign.

Kidzaplenty - Remember, I'm hoping fo three more, but we'll see what happens So even if I have my last one at 49 that leaves me at 67 when they're ready to leave for college. So retirement will probably be in full swing, and hoping to travel the world with kids and small grandkids. I think it's doable (is that a word?) considering my mom and grandma are still living (grandma just turned 90) and my great-grandma lived til 92 and great-great was 80 something before she fell in a well and died so who knows how long she would have lived.

ZanZansMommy Glad you found us
post #257 of 407
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kidzaplenty View Post
Just wondering. Where does everyone see themselves as their last child "finally" grows up?

Me? I just told #1 that I expect to be 69 and pg! Wouldn't that be a sight?

But really, I know my Mom did not hit minipause until around age 55. So that means I could have another 15 YEARS of having babies! :

And if I follow my "every other year" that means seven more? Sounds really fun!

But, one day, I want to be "Gramma", and I want my children's children to beg to come to my place to sit and watch me bake pies and cakes, and sit on my lap as I read them stories. I want to give them the whole "Grandmother" package that I never got.

And with my oldest being 18, It could be much closer than I think!
Just like you...probably pregnant again. Having babes the same time my kids are!! How cool would it be for them to grow up together?
post #258 of 407
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovbeingamommy View Post
Oh no, don't scare me with menopause :. I know it's different for everyone, but doesn't it generally come around the time that your mom experienced hers?
My mom had her uterus taken out when she was 41, shortly after she gave birth to my brother, because the doctor said it had dropped, and that that was what was causing her some problems with frequent urination.

My dad also recalled him saying that he'd just dealt with a tubal pregnancy on another older women, and he didn't want any more of his patients having babies in their forties. Which makes me wonder about his true motives.

Anyhow, it also means I have no idea when I'll go through menopause. I did start menstruating a few years earlier than my mom did. I was 12 1/2; she was 17.
post #259 of 407
Hi! I've been meaning to subscribe to this thread for a while but I've had computer problems but I'm back(I think the problems are fixed).

So I will be 43 in April, my youngest is 3 and my oldest is 18 and expecting her first in September...so I will be a grandma soon:

I'm working on my health...I need a lot of energy to keep up with 3 kids still at home and a grandchild. I'm hoping for a grandson and so is my dh but we love little girls so much that it's gonna be great no matter what.

So hi everybody
post #260 of 407
Hi, allgirls! Congratulations on becoming a grandma!
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