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NEW: at & over 40 with little ones Tribe UPDATED - Page 18

post #341 of 407
jrabbit. I am sorry your birth did not go as you planned and that you are hurting.
post #342 of 407
Jrabbit, . Hope you are feeling much better soon.
post #343 of 407
Ohhhh Janis I am sorry that you are hurting mama
post #344 of 407
Janis, I don't really know what to say, except I imagine if I were in the same circumstance, I would feel the exact same way as you. To say "at least you have a healthy baby" (wow, you even wrote this on your blog before your c/s) is to completely dismiss your birth experience. I'm so sorry for the loss of your dream. I'm helping a friend try to process her 28 week emergency c-section and it happened last June. I'm thinking of you. Kate.
post #345 of 407
Hope it's ok to drop back in here. I forgot about this thread.
post #346 of 407
Janis, I'm so sorry about your negative birth experience. Although my experience was somewhat different, I have felt cheated and angry about my oldest's birth and can empathise with feeling that way even weeks later. Isobel is coming up on a year and I still can't think about her birth. mama.

Speaking of Isobel's birthday, it's coming up next Friday and I haven't the faintest idea of what to do. I'm thinking cake and presents. My parents are coming so they might plan something. Blah. I just want to sleep. Poor Isobel.
post #347 of 407
Oh, Janis! :
post #348 of 407
Janis- I was traumatized by a terrible birth (c-section), too. My son is now 6 and I still mourn the fact that I never got to deliver vaginally/naturally.
He's my first and my only so I will never get to know what a natural birth feels like.
I feel for you, mama.
post #349 of 407
I think first birthdays are not really a big deal -- they are more for the older family members' sake anyway (parents, older siblings, grandparents if around). We didn't do much for ds's first birthday. I was cheap and bought him a discounted Valentine's cake (his bday is the day after Valentine's Day). What's really bad is that this year I totally blew it and didn't get it together to have a party for his sixth birthday. He was quite mad. I am belatedly having one for him next month, to give people time to RSVP.
post #350 of 407
s janis
post #351 of 407
Hi Candida and Maya!

Candida, I'm sorry, too, about your loss. I think it's OK if you don't make a big deal out of the first birthday. When Isobel is older you can do things for her birthdays!

athansor, Hi! I just noticed your screen name and recognize you from our book discussion!

Janis, I hope you're feeling better. Hugs and hugs! I would consider myself healed from having had a c-section, but every so often I do wonder what it would be like to hold a baby o mine right after giving birth. Maybe next time. The grief is real and I think you're wise to process your grief as opposed to denying it.

I just realized that one year ago I was having my first baby shower! : Wow, I had no idea what the next couple of months would bring! A year ago I was an excited pregnant mama washing new baby clothes, with no idea of what it would really mean to have a baby in the house! With only me to provide and care for her, too. Wow. The best life-changing experience I've ever had!
post #352 of 407
Welcome Candida and Maya!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pookietooth View Post
I think first birthdays are not really a big deal -- they are more for the older family members' sake anyway (parents, older siblings, grandparents if around).
I'd say the same even up to 3 or 4. We had family-only birthdays for 1-3 (didn't even really "do" a first, as we were en route to my mom's for the holidays); then invited family and just dd's best friend for her 4th. And it worked well. Took her yesterday to the opposite kind of party for a couple of friends turning 3. It wasn't over-the-top by any means, but there were just a ton of people there, kids and adults, and both birthday girls as well as a good number of the young guests seemed overwhelmed by the whole thing.
post #353 of 407
my kids are so sick. the 3 yo doesnt worry me so much but the 4 month old! jeez! this is the 2nd time he's had a cold..adn this is a bit more than a cold...he's gone from 99, to 101 to 103 and back and forth for 2 days now.

i have rocked wayyyyyy more in teh last 2 days than i have in the last few years! im just hoping they all get better soon. DP has been out of work for 4 days now.
post #354 of 407
We start official birthday parties at age 5. I'm a real scrooge, but besides that, i think that a 'party' should be appreciated by the child, and that doesn't really happen at such a young age. Molly turned 5 last week, and we celebrated with 3 other little girls and their parents (and Nana/Pops) on Saturday. 2 other guests called sick, and it turned out I was glad - there wasn't room! We had a playdo party with a cake. I made koolaid playdo and the kids played with it for 2 hours. That's all. Today, I'm going to bake some of their creations - hope that works.

My oldest DD loves planning parties, so we make a really big deal out of it - she gets to pick a theme, and we create everything around that theme: she makes an invitation (REAL invitation, in the mail); we make decorations, piñata, cake, food, party favors (sometimes). We try really hard not to buy decorations or anything that is 'throwaway'. I also forbid character theme parties - her last party was a "Dance Contest" (age 9), inspired by the movie Grease. It was super silly, and the dance contest didn't work as planned, but it was fun. http://philhyde.smugmug.com/gallery/...31904353_2HLTk

One idea I'd like to implement is a cloth table cloth that guests sign. I think we'll get one before our next party (we plan to have a June water slide party, which Annie likes to call her 'half birthday party').

--janis
post #355 of 407
I agree that really young kids can't appreciate a big party. That said, I was led to do a little more this year because dd had expressed a really clear preference for how her birthday would be celebrated--and this quite a few months in advance. She wanted a cake with balloons on it, and to be at home (because her birthday is so close to Christmas, we are on the road about every other year; last year we celebrated with relatives out-of-state). Simple enough. I'll just play it by ear as she grows. In my family, most birthdays were family affairs--grandparents optional; I don't remember very many where we invited other kids.
post #356 of 407
We do our birthday parties for every birthday starting at one. We generally only do family birthdays, but then again, with such a large family, it is like a party.

I do a cake and gifts, and most of the time decorations. We like to make each birthday person feel special, it is THEIR day of the year for THEIR preferences, likes and such.

They get to choose the family activity, they get to hand pick the meal, they get to pick the kind of cake if they want (although half the time they just trust me on it), and they don't have to do any chores or work. It makes it a special holiday for them.

The reason we start at one, is because it is a tradition. And the other children really enjoy making it special for the youngest ones. Not to mention, it is a great way to celebrate milestones in a child's life. I take tons of pictures and then I have a yearly record of growth for everyone. And since I have birthday all spread out over the year, I have a constant growth record. It is really cool to go back and see how much they have grown over the year.
post #357 of 407
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by PassionateWriter View Post
my kids are so sick. the 3 yo doesnt worry me so much but the 4 month old! jeez! this is the 2nd time he's had a cold..adn this is a bit more than a cold...he's gone from 99, to 101 to 103 and back and forth for 2 days now.

i have rocked wayyyyyy more in teh last 2 days than i have in the last few years! im just hoping they all get better soon. DP has been out of work for 4 days now.
Hope your LO's are feeling better soon My DS has been sick with a cough for about the last two weeks. I have been also and it's miserable.

I'm sorry to hear about your DP. I may also be out of a job in a few months -education cuts : I'm so absolutely disgusted because I remember people telling me in college to be a teacher you can go anywhere and your job is recession proof. yeah right!!
post #358 of 407
lovbeingamommy,
thanks. sorry for not being clear..DP was out of work due to illness (same thing ds3 and ds4 have). im the only one who has been healthy and taking care of everyone. i am sooo wiped!
post #359 of 407
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by PassionateWriter View Post
lovbeingamommy,
thanks. sorry for not being clear..DP was out of work due to illness (same thing ds3 and ds4 have). im the only one who has been healthy and taking care of everyone. i am sooo wiped!
At least you're staying healthy. It's a lot taking care of your family when they're sick so I can imagine how tired out you must feel

Glad to hear it's not the job
post #360 of 407
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