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Which would you do? - Page 2  

Poll Results: If you had one child and owned a 680-square-foot house, you would...

 
  • 10% (17)
    ...leave well enough alone
  • 69% (116)
    ...cram a second child into your tiny house
  • 8% (14)
    ...make a huge financial sacrifice, buy a bigger house and have a second child
  • 1% (2)
    ...make a huge financial sacrifice, buy a bigger house and NOT have a second child
  • 7% (12)
    ...buy a bigger house in 7 years when finances are better, then have a second child
  • 3% (6)
    Other
167 Total Votes  
post #21 of 37
7/27/08 at 6:37pm
680sqft is not considered 'tiny' in this country - everything is relative. Just because you have friends who have bigger houses doesn't mean that you also need to have a big house.

The idea that everyone needs to have their own personal space is a modern one and sometimes I think that striving for more space and the financial/time/work-life balance etc etc cost to achieve it is a source of much disharmony.
post #22 of 37
7/27/08 at 6:50pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruthla View Post
Most of my friends are living in houses 3X the size of our living space, for the same number of people (though generally 2 adults and 2 children, rather than 1 adult and 3 children.) So what? We have all the space we need- not all the space we WANT, but all we need.
That's great! But I feel like we don't have all the space we need. I love having company, but we can't invite people over because the living room is too small for people to sit in. When my mom comes to visit, she can't use the bathroom because it is too small even for a walker, let alone a wheelchair, so she has to have a portapotty in the bedroom and she has to use disposable washcloths instead of taking a bath. We haven't had overnight guests other than dd's grandparents since before dd was born, because the only place for them to sleep is in dd's bed. Even when it's just the three of us, I have to do a whole-house declutter every month or two in order to keep the place from overflowing. All of that being said, I love this house and the low-stress lifestyle it brings, so I don't want to move, but I don't think a fourth person would fit. Of course, it's a moot point anyway since dh is dead-set against having another child.
post #23 of 37
7/27/08 at 6:58pm
I don't know if anyone else has seen this, but I love the displays they have in our local Ikea showing living spaces of different square footages. I think the smallest is a couple living in 280 square feet or something. I'm a big fan of taking up less space, I don't need to aspire to a 3000 sq foot home just because I am American lol. If I had the cash to buy a nice place right now, I'd buy in on this new "green" condo tower they are putting up downtown, with 2 and 3 bedrooms all under 1000 square feet, renewable wood flooring and other neat stuff like that. That's what I like.

We live in a 725 sq ft 2 bedroom apartment and are expecting our second. We'll be here at least until that one is 1 year old, just because of how the lease works out. I'm not worried about it. I wouldn't necessarily look for more square footage after that, just a more smartly planned layout. The floor plan here wastes a lot of space with extra random walls and that kind of thing.
post #24 of 37
7/27/08 at 7:11pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruthla View Post
I voted "cram a 2nd child into my tiny home" but that's going on the assumption that me and my partner WANTED a 2nd child- I wouldn't have another child for any reason other than wanting another baby (or accidentally getting pg) and I wouldn't move to a larger home that we couldn't afford just because of another baby. Nor would I put my family plans on hold just because of finances- who knows what the future will hold? Why hold out "until the right moment" when that moment may never come?

:
post #25 of 37
7/27/08 at 7:25pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Juliacat View Post
That's great! But I feel like we don't have all the space we need. I love having company, but we can't invite people over because the living room is too small for people to sit in. When my mom comes to visit, she can't use the bathroom because it is too small even for a walker, let alone a wheelchair, so she has to have a portapotty in the bedroom and she has to use disposable washcloths instead of taking a bath. We haven't had overnight guests other than dd's grandparents since before dd was born, because the only place for them to sleep is in dd's bed. Even when it's just the three of us, I have to do a whole-house declutter every month or two in order to keep the place from overflowing. All of that being said, I love this house and the low-stress lifestyle it brings, so I don't want to move, but I don't think a fourth person would fit. Of course, it's a moot point anyway since dh is dead-set against having another child.
Sounds like you want a bigger house regardless of whether you have another baby!

We all have different standards. I was okay having people visit when we lived in a tiny space. I remember one fun gathering in our tiny duplex, where everyone was having to step over the children's activities on the floor to get to and from the kitchen and bathroom.

And some friends who needed a place to stay for a short time, were happy to sleep on the sofa bed in our living room. Since they had to go through our family-bedroom to use the restroom, I made sure that if anyone had to go during the night, they knew that it was okay as long as we had the door open. I didn't want anyone to feel like they had to hold it all night!

Of course, anyone who could afford a more comfortable option, would probably opt out of sleeping on our sofa-bed. But the people who stayed with us seemed to feel perfectly welcome. I sure had a great time!
post #26 of 37
7/27/08 at 8:53pm
What about doing some remodeling?

1. I obviously can't see the layout of your house, but a bedroom doesn't have to be a bedroom - it could be a living room. You could also knock out a wall to expand the flow. Remodeling should be less than buying a bigger home.

2. Do you have a basement? If you do, but aren't using it, could it be finished to provide additional space?

3. Since you can't add on due to lot size, what about going up? You could add a couple of bedrooms and another bath on a second floor, or create a loft for the living room space.
post #27 of 37
7/27/08 at 8:56pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Juliacat View Post
Of course, it's a moot point anyway since dh is dead-set against having another child.
Oops -- didn't see this. So I guess it doesn't really matter about adding or not adding another child.......or does it?
post #28 of 37
7/27/08 at 10:17pm
Thread Starter 
This house really isn't add-onable, up, down, sideways, back, or front.

Actually, dh's exact words were, "You're crazy if you think it would be sustainable for us to support another child now. Ask me again when you're out of school and have a good job and we have our car and house paid off."
post #29 of 37
7/28/08 at 12:32am
I voted for cram as well. Our house sounds exactly like yours.
post #30 of 37
7/28/08 at 9:32am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Juliacat View Post
This house really isn't add-onable, up, down, sideways, back, or front.

Actually, dh's exact words were, "You're crazy if you think it would be sustainable for us to support another child now. Ask me again when you're out of school and have a good job and we have our car and house paid off."
You have to wait till the house is paid off? Wow.
post #31 of 37
7/28/08 at 10:21am
Consider making another "room" out back. With a few screen-type potted plants and a few chairs, you could have a whole additional sitting area (perhaps?).

For the bathroom, it is much cheaper to pay someone to install bathroom wall supports for your mom. Add them to the tub and near the sink. Help her to walk to the bathroom, get a four-point cane or another (collapsible) walker for using inside the bathroom. They also have metal supports which sit over the toilet for helping to sit and stand independently.

Make a special "nest" beside your bed for your daughter for when company comes. We kids always slept on the floor when we visited family, or when they came to visit us.

Decluttering a larger house is just harder because you have MORE stuff, ime.

It sounds like you'd like more socializing time and space. Your plate with school and a young child and house care sounds full! Perhaps, hire someone to help with a big clean a few time a year, before overnight guests come to visit. All of the above together is cheaper than additional debt.

I voted for cram another kid into the mix. But, that won't help you get more time to socialize. And I am an extrovert and understand the *need* to be with other people. Are you wanting to "finish school and get a good paying job"? Or to have more kids? More kids won't get you a less cluttered house.


Pat
post #32 of 37
7/28/08 at 10:59am
I guess I am the only one so far who voted for buying a bigger house and not having a second child.

To me that sounds really small for more than two people. I think I could do 900 with a kid just fine. I'm living in 1200 sq ft right now, and it is too big. We don't even use two of the bedrooms. But I spend a lot of time at home and don't like to feel cramped. I don't see why selling your house and getting one just a couple hundred sq ft larger would be too much of a sacrifice.

As for having another baby, I didn't mean never. But I think buying a larger house and waiting a bit is good. Then thinking about having one again when both of you might be more comfortable with the idea.

But that is just what I would do. Do what will make you happy!
post #33 of 37
7/28/08 at 11:38am
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Qestia View Post
You have to wait till the house is paid off? Wow.
Yeah, but it's not as bad as it sounds. If we were both employed in good-paying jobs, which we're not currently since I'm staying home with dd, I could have it paid off in a year.

Quote:
Originally Posted by WuWei View Post
Are you wanting to "finish school and get a good paying job"? Or to have more kids?
Depends on which day you're asking me! I go back and forth on that a lot. Most of the time I lean more towards the finishing school and getting a good-paying job, though. Your ideas on how to maximize space are good ones. I may do those things.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Narn View Post
I don't see why selling your house and getting one just a couple hundred sq ft larger would be too much of a sacrifice.
It actually wouldn't, but I guess we feel like if we're going to go to the trouble to sell our house, buy a new one and move, we want to wait until we can afford much more space, not just a little more. Although, I definitely go back and forth on that, too. The living room is the only thing about this house that I really dislike. It's too small even for a sofa bed. If it were even three feet wider....

Thank you, everyone, for all the advice. You're welcome to come over and squish yourselves into my eight-foot living room.
post #34 of 37
7/28/08 at 11:48am
My house sounds the same as well...and we are probably going to cram soon.
post #35 of 37
7/28/08 at 12:31pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Juliacat View Post

Thank you, everyone, for all the advice. You're welcome to come over and squish yourselves into my eight-foot living room.
*WOOT* I love being squished into a small room with hundreds of other poeple :

Just JK
post #36 of 37
7/28/08 at 7:00pm
Well, as for what I would do - I'd have the second child... I have four children in our 925 Sq ft apartment and if I were just considering space, wouldn't have the slightest qualm about adding another baby or two into our 2 bedroom world. We have all the room we need. I might like a bigger kitchen, but it's certainly big enough for us, and it certainly isn't a factor in how many kids we have.

However, I might feel differently if the communal areas were significantly smaller. I don't care about bedroom space, but if our living room was really really cramped, I might not feel like we did have enough space. And then we'd probably just move to a bigger apartment, which is what we're planning to do within the next 6 months. (We'd be swimming in 1200 sq ft!) Maybe not being homeowners gives us greater flexibility there.

It sounds like you already know what you want to do and good luck to you in that!!
post #37 of 37
7/28/08 at 7:43pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Collinsky View Post
Well, as for what I would do - I'd have the second child... I have four children in our 925 Sq ft apartment and if I were just considering space, wouldn't have the slightest qualm about adding another baby or two into our 2 bedroom world. We have all the room we need. I might like a bigger kitchen, but it's certainly big enough for us, and it certainly isn't a factor in how many kids we have.
Yeah, the husband not wanting another would be a bigger factor than the space for me.

Quote:
It sounds like you already know what you want to do and good luck to you in that!!
I second that emotion!
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