I am posting this because, reading through the posts on this board, it seems like many of the mamas here who got their sons circ'ed a were coerced by their dh or another man in their lives. That makes me so sad, I can't imagine being coerced by the only person who loves my son as much as I do to mutilate him, let alone the day he is born! I just feel really lucky b/c my dh is very anti-circ, and if I had a different husband who was for the procedure, my son probably would not be intact today.
Here's my story: I was born in Eastern Europe where it's not customary to circ. I think I once heard my parents discussing with friends the fact that Americans "cut" baby boys even without religious reasons, and how strange that was. I didn't really know or care too much about the subject. I don't mean to sound crude or give TMI, but since I married pretty early I haven't seen too many penises in my life. I think the only time I saw a circumcised penis was on a video in psychology class, and I remember thinking, " Gee, that looks strange, it must be kind of hard for him to have sex." But I don't think I really registered the fact that he was circumcised.
Fast forward to when I was pregnant w/ ds and I was at a prenatal appt. Luckily, it was one of the ones my dh attended w/ me. My doctor asked if we wanted our son circed. Before I could say anything dh, almost yelling, said "No, and is there anything else we need to do to make sure the procedure definitely doesn't happen?" I was a bit taken aback but since I didn't really care either way I didn't say anything until after we left the doc's office. When I asked him why he was so upset by the question he told me what circ was and how it was basically mutilation done for the sake of tradition and how people in this country first started doing it to seem more "American." My dh is Mexican but one of his brothers was born in the U.S. and I guess the docs tried to get his mom to circ him so my dh sees it as really racist. I definately think there is a racist or xenophobic component to it, because, I looked up the circumcision stats and it is done most widely in predominantly non-immigrant places like the rural midwest and south. One of the arguments people use is "I don't want my son to look different" i.e. i don't want my son to look un-American.
It makes me disgusted to think that had my dh not been so vocal in his opposition I may have gone ahead and had the procedure done out of ignorance. I think that, had my dh not attended that appt. I probaby would have asked the doc what she thought, and she would have probably told me how it is very common and harmless and I may have been swayed to do it. I can't even imagine bringing home my little boy with a wound and possibly in pain. How terrible it must be for a baby to enter the world and feel such pain inflicted on him in the presence of those who are supposed to love and protect him.
Anyways, I was wondering if any of you had similar experiences where it was a male in your life that was the main force behind your decision not to circ.
Here's my story: I was born in Eastern Europe where it's not customary to circ. I think I once heard my parents discussing with friends the fact that Americans "cut" baby boys even without religious reasons, and how strange that was. I didn't really know or care too much about the subject. I don't mean to sound crude or give TMI, but since I married pretty early I haven't seen too many penises in my life. I think the only time I saw a circumcised penis was on a video in psychology class, and I remember thinking, " Gee, that looks strange, it must be kind of hard for him to have sex." But I don't think I really registered the fact that he was circumcised.
Fast forward to when I was pregnant w/ ds and I was at a prenatal appt. Luckily, it was one of the ones my dh attended w/ me. My doctor asked if we wanted our son circed. Before I could say anything dh, almost yelling, said "No, and is there anything else we need to do to make sure the procedure definitely doesn't happen?" I was a bit taken aback but since I didn't really care either way I didn't say anything until after we left the doc's office. When I asked him why he was so upset by the question he told me what circ was and how it was basically mutilation done for the sake of tradition and how people in this country first started doing it to seem more "American." My dh is Mexican but one of his brothers was born in the U.S. and I guess the docs tried to get his mom to circ him so my dh sees it as really racist. I definately think there is a racist or xenophobic component to it, because, I looked up the circumcision stats and it is done most widely in predominantly non-immigrant places like the rural midwest and south. One of the arguments people use is "I don't want my son to look different" i.e. i don't want my son to look un-American.
It makes me disgusted to think that had my dh not been so vocal in his opposition I may have gone ahead and had the procedure done out of ignorance. I think that, had my dh not attended that appt. I probaby would have asked the doc what she thought, and she would have probably told me how it is very common and harmless and I may have been swayed to do it. I can't even imagine bringing home my little boy with a wound and possibly in pain. How terrible it must be for a baby to enter the world and feel such pain inflicted on him in the presence of those who are supposed to love and protect him.
Anyways, I was wondering if any of you had similar experiences where it was a male in your life that was the main force behind your decision not to circ.
: Thanks for sharing your story. I'm an intact gay male and my future-partner will have to accept that our sons will be intact! Hopefully he'll be anti-circ, too. If not, I'll have to educate him, which I don't mind doing.
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