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Appropriate public pool/lake attire for 4 yo girl

post #1 of 31
Thread Starter 
My 4 yo daughter likes to wear boys bathing suits to the town pool & local lakes, especially when we go with her older brother & his friends. I'm fine with it. My husband thinks otherwise. She switches between wanting to wear one of her girl suits (usually when she's going to meet some of her girl friends) and wanting to wear one of her brother's suits (when she's with mostly boys). When do you feel girls should start covering up on the top?
post #2 of 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by pemja View Post
When do you feel girls should start covering up on the top?
When they start feeling self conscious.
post #3 of 31
Hmmm. I agree w/ the pp in theory, but I have a hard time imagining that I would feel comfy w/ my 4.5 y/o dd wearing a boys' suit. But maybe that's just b/c she's so girly and into all things girly I can't imagine her actually being willing to put on a boys' suit, much less wear one.
post #4 of 31
Definitely by the time the have breast buds (6-9?) or feel modest, besides that it's parent's comfort level and cultural norms (if you care). Outside the US 5yo's and under commonly go topless, maybe older. Personally it would throw me for a loop for a few seconds if I saw a little girl swimming topless, maybe wonder if it was a girl or boy, then I wouldn't care.
post #5 of 31
When ever she wants too.

However, if you are wanting to find a compromise....could you get a full body boy suit?

http://www.beachfactory.com/maincat_...0Swimwear.html
post #6 of 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by pemja View Post
When do you feel girls should start covering up on the top?
Quote:
Originally Posted by llamalluv View Post
When they start feeling self conscious.
:

The chest of a 4yo girl is no different than the chest of a 4yo boy. It seems kind of silly to me that one should be covered and the other doesn't need to be. Girls tend to get modest around 7-9 years old.

I don't let either my son or my daughters go to the pool without a rash guard on top, for both sun protection and modesty (holding my son to the same standards of modesty that I'd have for a girl the same age.)

Would your DH have a problem with your DD wearing boy's trunks if she wore it with some sort of swim top? Would your DD find that acceptable?
post #7 of 31
I'm with all these smart ladies. When she starts feeling self concious. Though, it might not be a bad idea to have a snappy come back for the people who make a stupid comment about your girl being topless. I don't know what the difference is either, but for some reason in North American girls are expected to cover up and boys aren't.
post #8 of 31
ITA, when they want to cover up. i could have easily gone without a top until i was at least 9-10 years old, and did now and again.
post #9 of 31
I agree with whenever she wants.

FWIW, my DD wears trunks and a rash guard. It's convenient and means less sunscreen.
post #10 of 31
I agree topless is ok... i have a hard time getting my dd to keep a suit on and she's 5. She has no issues being naked in a public place, even if *all* the other kids have suits on. Depending on the location, i will allow it, but it's pretty rare these days (unless we're at home). I'm insisting on bottoms, minimum. Although, she does like her rash guard and i love it for sun protection.

would she wear a cute skirt type bottom?
post #11 of 31
I agree with everyone opinion on this, when she feels like she wants to wear a top. However, I'm a bit anal about sun protection, so both my kids usually have a top on. My son has gotten burnt pretty quickly when he does not wear some sort of shirt.
post #12 of 31
My son doesn't even go topless at the pool. I always put a swim shirt on him. So my DD wouldn't be topless at the pool either.
post #13 of 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by wednesday View Post
My son doesn't even go topless at the pool. I always put a swim shirt on him. So my DD wouldn't be topless at the pool either.
Exactly.

And frankly, I'd let my DD go topless before I'd let her wear a bikini top. That actually makes me :Puke When I see little girls on the beach with string bikinis it really irritates me. It oversexualizes them needlessly, IMNSHO.
post #14 of 31
I think I'd find the trunks more appropriate than the bikinis I see young girls wearing all the time (in my mind bikinis are a sexually charged item of clothing). She'll reach a point where she feels uncomfortable & switch.
post #15 of 31
Hahaha - moonshoes we posted at the same time!
post #16 of 31
Thread Starter 
Thanks for all your replies. I feel like I should allow it as long as she feels comfortable with it, but I do have an old boy's full-body suit of my son's that I'll get out and see what she thinks of it. She just got a pixie cut a few weeks ago (she had been asking for a haircut like her brother's for months, and after a lice outbreak in our family, we shaved it off and she's been so happy with it since) so she's mistaken for a boy quite a bit lately which doesn't seem to bother her in the least.
post #17 of 31
While I agree that there is no difference between and boy and a girl at that age, I would never let my 3 yr old dd go topless in public. Why? Because of all the sickos out there who get a rise out of seeing a little girl not yet developed simply because she is a girl and someday there will be something there. If that doesn't bother you, than I don't think there is any issue. Of course a sicko will fantasize no matter what, but why give him fuel for his fire? The more they see, the more they get excited. With one in 3 to one in 4 girls in America being molested now-a-days, I prefer to keep my dd dressed modestly.
post #18 of 31
Wow -- I hadn't thought that I'd the be voice of desent here but I think my limit is about the time they are out of diapers / swim diapers. Assuming, of course, that we are talking about the US -- I agree its cultural and I have no idea about how other countries would feel about it. But by preschool-age I think that girls need to start developing a sense of body modesty, which means keeping one's dress down and one's top on in public places. Is if a double standard? Yes. Do I want to be the one that fights that fight? Nope. Do I want my daughter to be teased or judged because of her lack of clothes? Nope.
post #19 of 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by Attached Mama View Post
While I agree that there is no difference between and boy and a girl at that age, I would never let my 3 yr old dd go topless in public. Why? Because of all the sickos out there who get a rise out of seeing a little girl not yet developed simply because she is a girl and someday there will be something there. If that doesn't bother you, than I don't think there is any issue. Of course a sicko will fantasize no matter what, but why give him fuel for his fire? The more they see, the more they get excited. With one in 3 to one in 4 girls in America being molested now-a-days, I prefer to keep my dd dressed modestly.
: to both of the above pp. When I was little, it would have been fine. I wouldn't do it now. I don't even let my 2 year old outside without a shirt on. But that's just me. I don't like taking chances.
post #20 of 31
Let her be!!!! If she wants to go topless, YEAH for her. If she wants to wear a rash guard YEAH for her.....her body is nothing to be ashamed of or covered for *other* people comfort.
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