My three eldest children (DS1-14 1/2 years, DD-12 1/2 years, and SS-11 years) shocked DH and I on Sunday morning. Here's the backstory:
DS2 (6 years old) has special needs and often has insomnia. Saturday night, he couldn't get to sleep. At 4 am, DH and I decided that DH would go downstairs and get a little sleep. I could stay home from church with DS and sleep in, but DH had to go. At 5 am, I had JUST gotten DS to sleep maybe 20 minutes earlier when DH turned on the light in the bedroom. He said, "The kids just came home."
Of course I was really confused, since I kissed all the kids good night at about 10 pm and they had gone to bed. He had to explain to me 4 times that the three kids had just walked in through the front door.
They had all piled into their beds. I think they didn't realize DH saw them, since he was in the dark living room and you don't walk through there to get from the front door to the stairs. I went into their bedrooms and turned on the lights and started asking what they were doing out there. First, "We heard a noise." Then, "We walked to the park." On and on, tiny bits of truth and lies. Eventually, we got this: my kids and about 6-8 other kids in the neighborhood sneaked out of their houses around 2:30 to meet at the park. My kids were gone for 2 1/2 hours in the wee hours of the morning and we had no idea! It wasn't the first time, either. And there were some much older kids (16-17) at the park, and here my SS just turned 11 this past week!
I was furious, of course, but more scared. Since we caught them coming home, I've had a hard time getting to sleep because all the "what ifs" keep running through my head. I'm pretty confident they didn't do anything except hang out at the park; I saw no evidence of any smoking or drinking (or smelled; I actually stuck my nose in their mouths to smell their breath), so thank goodness we caught them before that started!
DH and I called SS's mom and DS1 and DD's dad right away (we're a blended family) and had them come over at noon. Poor DH, he still had to go to church on no more than about 2 hours sleep, which was more like dozing since he was so scared. When the other parents came over, we discussed the consequences for their escapade. We collectively decided that this requires big consequences since it's such outrageously risky behavior. I was SOOO grateful, sitting at that table with my ex-husband and DH's ex-wife (and her live-in BF, too!) that we could agree on how to handle this!
So then DH went upstairs to tell the kids to get dressed and come downstairs. That must have been scary for them. When you're coming down the stairs, you can see straight into the dining room, so they must have felt like they were walking to the firing line. We took away all their cell phones and iPods, plus all TV, computer, and video game time, plus took away the keys to their bikes, locked up all the skateboards and scooters, etc. We gave them all an 8 pm bedtime, too. Really, we took away pretty much all their privileges and told them that summer vacation is over. They go back to school on 8/12, so that's when they can start earning some privileges back, though we won't just lift everything all at once. They're also doing chores in the house and yard during this grounding (do they still call it grounding?).
Thank goodness my DS couldn't sleep that night! If we'd been asleep, we never would have heard them. They have to walk past our bedroom to get to their own, but we keep it closed and our floors don't creak, plus DH's c-pap machine kind of drowns out noise. If we hadn't caught them, eventually it would have been cops knocking on the door either because they were caught out at that hour, or because they were hurt, or something else. I guess I'll have to adopt a new attitude about his insomnia, huh?
After our meeting, my ex-husband and I went around to the houses of the kids who were at the park (the kids we know) to tell the other parents. They were just as shocked as we were, although I know that at least one girl (who we don't know, and who's several years older than my eldest) had permission from her parents! I can't even imagine that. Of course, I can't imagine that my kids (my good, kind, responsible (I thought!) kids) would make such a lousy decision!
Sorry to go on so long.
I guess I just needed to tell that story. It makes me long for the day when making a mess in the kitchen or calling me poopy-head was the worst thing any of my kids ever did!
DS2 (6 years old) has special needs and often has insomnia. Saturday night, he couldn't get to sleep. At 4 am, DH and I decided that DH would go downstairs and get a little sleep. I could stay home from church with DS and sleep in, but DH had to go. At 5 am, I had JUST gotten DS to sleep maybe 20 minutes earlier when DH turned on the light in the bedroom. He said, "The kids just came home."
Of course I was really confused, since I kissed all the kids good night at about 10 pm and they had gone to bed. He had to explain to me 4 times that the three kids had just walked in through the front door.
They had all piled into their beds. I think they didn't realize DH saw them, since he was in the dark living room and you don't walk through there to get from the front door to the stairs. I went into their bedrooms and turned on the lights and started asking what they were doing out there. First, "We heard a noise." Then, "We walked to the park." On and on, tiny bits of truth and lies. Eventually, we got this: my kids and about 6-8 other kids in the neighborhood sneaked out of their houses around 2:30 to meet at the park. My kids were gone for 2 1/2 hours in the wee hours of the morning and we had no idea! It wasn't the first time, either. And there were some much older kids (16-17) at the park, and here my SS just turned 11 this past week!
I was furious, of course, but more scared. Since we caught them coming home, I've had a hard time getting to sleep because all the "what ifs" keep running through my head. I'm pretty confident they didn't do anything except hang out at the park; I saw no evidence of any smoking or drinking (or smelled; I actually stuck my nose in their mouths to smell their breath), so thank goodness we caught them before that started!
DH and I called SS's mom and DS1 and DD's dad right away (we're a blended family) and had them come over at noon. Poor DH, he still had to go to church on no more than about 2 hours sleep, which was more like dozing since he was so scared. When the other parents came over, we discussed the consequences for their escapade. We collectively decided that this requires big consequences since it's such outrageously risky behavior. I was SOOO grateful, sitting at that table with my ex-husband and DH's ex-wife (and her live-in BF, too!) that we could agree on how to handle this!
So then DH went upstairs to tell the kids to get dressed and come downstairs. That must have been scary for them. When you're coming down the stairs, you can see straight into the dining room, so they must have felt like they were walking to the firing line. We took away all their cell phones and iPods, plus all TV, computer, and video game time, plus took away the keys to their bikes, locked up all the skateboards and scooters, etc. We gave them all an 8 pm bedtime, too. Really, we took away pretty much all their privileges and told them that summer vacation is over. They go back to school on 8/12, so that's when they can start earning some privileges back, though we won't just lift everything all at once. They're also doing chores in the house and yard during this grounding (do they still call it grounding?).
Thank goodness my DS couldn't sleep that night! If we'd been asleep, we never would have heard them. They have to walk past our bedroom to get to their own, but we keep it closed and our floors don't creak, plus DH's c-pap machine kind of drowns out noise. If we hadn't caught them, eventually it would have been cops knocking on the door either because they were caught out at that hour, or because they were hurt, or something else. I guess I'll have to adopt a new attitude about his insomnia, huh?
After our meeting, my ex-husband and I went around to the houses of the kids who were at the park (the kids we know) to tell the other parents. They were just as shocked as we were, although I know that at least one girl (who we don't know, and who's several years older than my eldest) had permission from her parents! I can't even imagine that. Of course, I can't imagine that my kids (my good, kind, responsible (I thought!) kids) would make such a lousy decision!
Sorry to go on so long.
I guess I just needed to tell that story. It makes me long for the day when making a mess in the kitchen or calling me poopy-head was the worst thing any of my kids ever did!
I had let them go to bed, but at about 5:30, I was pacing, way too upset to sleep. So I said to DH, "Nuts to this! If I can't sleep, neither can they!" So, my house has 3 toilets. I passed out old toothbrushes and got them started. At about 9 am, we fed them and let them go to bed for a few hours.
I had a guy friend that dated a girl there that had at least two abortions that he knew of and dated adult men. 
to you.
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