let's talk about crisis pregnancy centers (spin-off from PBA thread)

[Super Pickle]

Hey everyone. I noticed in the PBA thread that several people were interested in or involved with crisis pregnancy centers. Can we talk about our experiences with them? What do we like or not like about the ones we've known?

I volunteered in one in downtown Chicago for about two years and hope to go back when ds#2 starts solids.

When I felt "called" to volunteer in a CPC I was scared because of all the negative propaganda I'd heard about them. But I was relieved to find that at this one, no gory pictures are used and no proselytizing is done. Basically, we treat the woman with respect; we act as sounding boards/shoulders to cry on and then we give encouragement; we offer to show non-graphic, educational videos on the medical procedure of abortion; and we connect women with resources, such as free prenatal care thru 6 weeks postpartum at one of the local Catholic hospitals. Our two biggest "tools" for preventing abortion are the free ultrasounds we offer and the complete, new layettes we give free to any pregnant woman who is either contemplating abortion or is in financial need. We also have a mentoring program in which one counselor keeps up with a client throughout her pregnancy and beyond, if possible. We offer bi-monthly parenting classes and abstinence support classes, but we rarely have anyone show up because there is no "reward" system, like the "mommy bucks" mentioned in the PBA thread. But I, too, feel uncomfortable with the idea of bribing women to come to our classes.

The center has 3 full-time paid staff but the majority of the counseling is done by volunteers. The staff are some of the most dynamic, smart, sweet, godly women I have ever known. A and B have both had abortions; B and C are both single mothers, B is an MSW, and C is actuallly a former client who was in the mentoring program and got this job when it opened up.

I have heard some awful stories from clients. We get a lot of clients from the poorest areas in Chicago.

We don't consider it our job to change anyone's mind regarding abortion. We leave it in the hands of the Holy Spirit and trust that some of the seeds that we sow will come to bear fruit. This takes a lot of the pressure off and makes it easier to treat the women with non-judgemental love and compassion. It is such a high when you open a woman's eyes to her ability to mother and see her begin to love and cherish the child she is carrying. You see her begin to dream and hope. It is amazing.

Because my husband is about to get his doctorate and wants to stay in academia, we will most likely be living in and around colleges and universities for the rest of our lives. I would love to be involved in a CPC that is aimed at college students, since soooo many college women get pregnant and either abort (majority) or drop out of school (small fraction). My vision is a center that focuses on keeping women in college while providing them the support they need to be great mothers. One that also promotes attachment parenting and connects these women with midwives, and makes parenting while in school a viable option.

THat's enough from me. What about the rest of you?

[Greaseball]

I have gone in a few times for free tests. Some are more christian than others. Some waste the client's time (yes, some of the clients have jobs and lives and aren't just irresponsible teenagers who watch tv all day!) by going through an hour of prayers before they will do the test. Others just do the test and you can barely tell they are christian.

They offered me some inadequate abortion info when I was 19, thought I was pg, and perhaps would have aborted. They said doctors can't see what they are doing so they operate by touch with a scalpel in your uterus. That is not true. They use ultrasound. I can understand the CPC's stance on abortion, but that doesn't mean they should lie to people.

The one you work for sounds like a good place - do they support the rights of single women and teenagers to be parents? The ones I went to were all about adoption. One center had a particularly scary pamphlet about marraige, saying that if you just live with your boyfriend you are at great risk for experiencing domestic violence, but that if you marry him your risk is really low. That is not true. Married women are beaten all the time. The CDC says the leading cause of death for all pregnant women is domestic violence. If your boyfriend is beating you, you should be offered support for leaving him, not told to marry him.

They also do not support contraceptives; abstinence only. I think a CPC ideally should serve all clients and support their choices - including aboriton, parenting, adoption, continuing to have sex, contraception, etc. Surely if you do not support abortion you would at least think contraception isn't that bad? Since it can prevent abortion?

One center refused to provide the free baby stuff to a 13-year-old mother because the baby's "father" was 25 and the mother would not report him to the police. So an innocent child was denied clothing (the mother and child were homeless, btw) because of the center's policy. Services should be provided on the basis of need, not on how compliant the mother is with the system.

I also question how well they can help those who are not christian. If a client were to say "I need the help but don't want you to pray" I think that is her right. Most likely the center would not think so.

I have a friend who went to one of those christian maternity homes when she was 17. (Yep, they still have those!) It was OK about her decision to parent (again, some are all about adoption and shame-teaching) but get this - they confiscated her Stephen King novels because they wanted her to "be careful about what she was putting into her mind" but they allowed her to SMOKE in the building! Not exactly in the best interest of the child, is it? They also told her that since she did not have a job, a condition of her staying at the center was to work in their adjoining christmas ornament factory for far less than minimum wage. At the end, though, I think my friend thought it was an OK place to be.

I think these centers can be useful to some but I would choose Planned Parenthood myself.

[Marlena]

I don't have any experience with the pregnancy crisis centers, but I do really like Planned Parenthood (and used their services for checkups and tests and birth control when I was young and without means). They made absolutely certain that I understood my options and what their risks and benefits were. They were down to earth and compassionate. I support them.

[Peppermint]

I have been a part of some wonderful CPCs in my time, the one I am currently involved with is particularly amazing.

Women are helped throughout their pregnancy and beyond. The workers there are compassionate, loving people who truly care deeply about mother and child. There is no lying about abortion, and no *push* for adoption (but it is presented as an option)

Any mother who chooses to keep her child it encouraged in every way, they are not told to marry the BF, they are encouraged to stay in school, we help them find other services that are available to them and do all we can to get them everything we need. Luckily the community is very supportive and provides us with adequate funding to help these women through their crisis pregnancy and beyond.

My current idea is to bring in a little more AP to the center. I am planning to start making slings (and have a video and instruction sheet available- as well as come in to help any mama who wants to get used to her sling), and to encourage BFing by giving out info, nursing my new baby there , and offering to take anyone who is interested to LLL with me. I want to get together a "lending library" of Dr. Sears and other AP books, as well as talk to the women about gentle discipline, etc. I could use suggestions on this topic actually.

I think that the most important service we provide is being there to listen, and to encourage and mentor the women who need it.

We also have a program for post-abortion counseling (which women have to seek out on their own-so we are not trying to make women feel guilty, we are providing services for those already struggling with their abortion) our program focuses on forgiving oneself.

That's all for now, thanks for starting this thread, I was reluctant to join, b/c I have a feeling there will be a fair amount of CPC bashing, but that's why this is "activism" right, everything is suppossed to be a debate here.

[daylily]

A few years ago, I expressed an interest in volunteering at my city's pregnancy center. The volunteer packet they sent me required a reference from my pastor and I was required to sign a statement saying that I believed that Jesus was the son of God. I *do* believe in Jesus, but no way do I think that this should be a criteria judging a person's ability to be a good volunteer, so I threw the forms in the trash.

[Greaseball]

They also asked me if I knew anyone who has had an abortion, in hopes that I would refer them to their support group. I know lots of people who have, but they are not religious, so I didn't think they'd like the group.

Does anyone know what the groups are like? Hopefully, they are a way to come to terms with the past and respectfully honor the baby, and not just some group that tells women what horrible sinners they are.

I even checked out one of their abstinence support groups! (Again, I was only 19, so I really didn't know what I was doing!) I was the only one in attendance and the 2 volunteers talked about abstinence. They were really nice, but I couldn't relate to all the religion. I think it would be neat if they had abstinence and post-abortion groups that were not religious.

[Marlena]

You are a cool person, Greaseball!

[grisandole]

I hope there are good ones out there ! The one that jess7396 talks about sounds great- what they SHOULD be like. The only ones I've had experience with were, unfortunately, like the other ones mentioned. I worked at a church daycare for a while, and heard all about the cpc; and the one that church ran was one of the "adoption/super strict rules like no Stephen King/no real support" cpc's.......and......I think that these are the majority.

That's why I've been thinking about starting one.....a non denominational CPC that empowers women and helps them.

Also, a bit off topic, but from my understanding, docs do not use ultrasound at all during an abortion- they do one prior to it IN SOME CASES but not ususally. It is done "blind".


Kristi

[barbara]

I volunteered for several years to man the CPC hot line on weekends. The calls were forwarded to my home phone over the weekend when the center was closed. I also co-taught childbirth classes at the center. I never did any christian wittnessing at the center or over the phone, simply gave a shoulder to cry on and advice where applicable, or directed them to agencies that could help them.

There are 3 centers in my area and they are all run by and financially supported by christians. These people are sincere and truely want to help women and babies. Sometimes they may push their own deeply held beliefs on the women they help, but that is not unlike the doctors and staff at hospitals that push thier beliefs, or the staff at Planned Parenthood and abortion clinics who direct and offer advice based on their beliefs. I guess you simply have to understand where you seeking help and take what applies to you and leave what does not agree with your own belief system.

It is a shame that there are no centers to help pregnant women that are run secular folks, but I guess the passion just isn't there for such centers. Perhaps one day there will be, in the meantime, I'm grateful for the CPC's and the devoted people that volunteer their time and money to make life easier for mothers and babies.

[Tigerchild]

Originally posted by barbara
IIt is a shame that there are no centers to help pregnant women that are run secular folks, but I guess the passion just isn't there for such centers. Perhaps one day there will be, in the meantime, I'm grateful for the CPC's and the devoted people that volunteer their time and money to make life easier for mothers and babies.

Actually, there are.

They're called Planned Parenthood clinics. Or the YWCA (the social services organization part of it.) Or a myriad of other local centers.

The vast majority of PP clinics I have visited (for low cost GYN care back in my hand-to-mouth financial days) also provided care and referrals for pregnant women (just like the CPCs do...not many have their own OBs, after all), and the same list of resources that CPCs point their clients too. Including the names/addresses/phone numbers of churches with donation closets.

I've always found it annoying that people (on both sides) assume that the only pro-life folks are Christians. I consider myself anti-abortion, and pro-life (in that I am vehemently against the death penalty as well). But the Pro-Life movement certainly would have nothing to do with me, nor I with it. There are plenty of secular folks who put their $$ and volunteer time were their hearts are. It just tends to be spread out. After all, isn't it the pro-life Republicans who are all for cutting benefits for welfare, WIC, and other programs that help women and children?

Nobody has the market on generosity or ass-itude, sorry.

[barbara]

Kitty, I certianlly didn't mean to say that only christians, buddists, muslims, and other religious folks were the only ones that cared about this issue.

I was trying to make the point that it has traditionally been religious people that have done this kind of work; i.e. schools, colleges, hospitals, and charity organizations were mostly all started by religious groups.) The Salvation Army and the YMCA/YWCA (Young Men's/Woman's Christian Association) are both Christian organizations.

I was unaware that Planned Parenthood provided free assistance to pregnant women. There are certianly more Planned Parenthood clinics around the country than there are CPCs, so I'm confused as to why the people that don't want a religious flavor don't go to PP for the help they need.

[Wendydagny]

nak, but I volunteered during college for a time at a cpc run by united way. it provided dorm-type housing, food, etc for at risk moms who chose to have their babies, both before and for a time after birth. the women had to do vocational training or school, but child care was provided for them. they also had to take parenting classes, but they were very ap in nature, pro-bf etc. it was a wonderful secular alternative that was anti-abortion and abstinence-supportive. so they do exist

[Jane]

Originally posted by barbara
I was unaware that Planned Parenthood provided free assistance to pregnant women. There are certianly more Planned Parenthood clinics around the country than there are CPCs, so I'm confused as to why the people that don't want a religious flavor don't go to PP for the help they need.

Planned Parenthood is associated with birth control and abortion. If they started up a huge campaign about their pre-natal offerings, I think a lot of people would be up in arms, suggesting they are only getting people in the door to offer them abortions. It's almost like people want to know what they'll get when the walk in the door. If I go in, they will convince me I've already made the right decision.

[grisandole]

Having been to PP, I certainly don't consider them a CPC at all- they might give out the phone numbers to welfare programs (but some do not), but that is not a CPC.

PP has it's place, but that isn't it.



Kristi

[Greaseball]

Planned Parenthood doesn't provide prenatal care or assistance with adoption or parenting. They are free for teens and low-income people, though.

There is also the Parent Enhancement Program (maybe something different in every state) that provides parenting support for young parents ages 14-25.

[Tigerchild]

I know of many CPCs that cannot provide prenatal care--they are lay-volunteer staffed. They can only provide support groups (which some PPs facilitate as well) and resource lists (which all the PPs I've ever been to do too) and sometimes have their own resource closet. All the PPs I've used also had extensive contact lists for low-cost or sliding-fee-scale prenatal care with private doctors.

I have heard of CPCs that had their own doctors (I kind of hope that the places that have the ultrasound machines at least have doctors or techs associated with them), but from what I understand those are not the rule.

So. If it's just referral and resources that one is after, you don't need to go to a place that has a bible verse slapped on every wall and a prayer quota for each client's visit. I've donated stuff to CPCs before, even briefly volunteered at one before I left the church behind. I didn't need a pastor's reference, the people there seemed quite nice, but they were strictly lay counselors. Only in-house training. But, to their credit, they were very clear, even on the forms that the clients were asked to sign, that they would not provide referrals to abortion providers and that it was an evangelical Christian outreach.

I also second the notion that adoption is not an easy or always-beautiful option. Adoption can be just as traumatic as abortion for some people, to be honest. Also, adoption tends to only be the rosy "Every child a wanted child" picture if the mother and father of the unborn are white. That leaves out a lot of folks. Though from what I understand it's mostly white folks who get abortions anyway, so perhaps if adoption were pushed at places where abortions are performed that might provide a happy outcome for 2/3 of the triad involved.

Now, I may need some clarification here. Are groups like Bethany and Catholic Family Services being included under the CPC heading? I thought CPCs were a specific (though loosely affiliated) group of abortion alternative "counseling" centers. I vaguely remember there being a bit of a to-do when I was in college because another group had set up shop using similar words to Crisis Pregnancy Centers and the original folks were mad. This was back in the late 90s though, so maybe that's resolved? It seems weird to me that CPCs would run a maternity home. I thought that was the province of CFS and the Salvation Army (I was born in a Salvation Army maternity facility) and other organizations with relatively large amounts of $$ to spend. I can't see a local CPC group like the ones I've personally been involved with having that much capital.

[Greaseball]

The one I spoke of, Orchard Inn, was a non-profit not affiliated with a CPC, though since it is a christian place I'm sure a CPC would refer people to them. It's a shelter for homeless teens who are pregnant. Actually, I think you can be slightly older than a teenager as well. They have a quota, so while my friend was there, there was also a 20-yr-old who was not even pg, just homeless.:

[jannan]

super pickle, i think what you are doing is wonderful. you are doing Gods' work.

[barbara]

The CPCs in this area have purchased homes, or had them donated, in which they provide housing for women and children until they can get on their feet. There is always a host couple or woman that is kind of the dorm mom. They also have private homes that mothers and children can be placed in. Everything is run on a donation and volunteer basis.

There is a lot more than just phone numbers of obs that is offered, and the women that volunteer really do care about helping the physical and emotional needs of these women.

[pie]

I went to one of those places when I was pregnant with my son, because we didn't have insurance coverage and I wanted to see a doctor. They helped me out but I felt really out of place being 26 with a husband.