let's talk about crisis pregnancy centers (spin-off from PBA thread) - Page 2

[VisionQuest]

I went to a CPC when I was 18 years old because they had free pregnancy testing. I'm sure they were just trying to get their point across, but it was not a good experience for me at all.

While I was waiting for my test results, they had me watch a video about what happens during an abortion. Mind you, I had already had an abortion (but was in a relationship at this time and thought the birth control failed) and knew what happens but it still freaked me out. The video showed a fetus laying between a woman's legs on a table and the baby was pretty far along, further along than three months, would be my guess. I still remember it. The fetus was actually still moving somewhat on the table!

While some may deem that that would be effective, all it did was make me feel sick to my stomach! I'm sure that other methods could have been used but that was a gut-wrenching method. It turned out that I was not pregnant.

I know that some CPCs do great things. That very CPC that I went to helped a mom I know whose husband left her for someone else when their son was 2 and she was pregnant with their second child.

[oatmeal]

I went to one with a friend many years ago who was pg and thought about abortion. I found it fine - not evangelizing or anything. Years leter though when I was in the same position and had a baby by myself and went back there - they had no support whatsoever, it was really lame. There is a big point to "us" right-to-lifers wanting to end abortion but having no support system for mothers who make the decision to keep their babies.
I think the most violent right to lifers would do a much better service in devoting their passions to creating real crisis centers that give diapers, clothing, and group support and FINANCIAL AID to single mothers - also there should be 24 hour crisis workers available to show up in the middle of the night when the baby is crying and mothers don't know what to do....

Ok the CPC gives counseling to avoid abortion, but then what?

And I have to say one more thing, abortion IS GOREY, and violent and visceral, and the over -clinicalisation of it is a crime. Once when a friend of mine got psychological counselling after an abortion she had that mentally destroyed her - I watched a medical video tape that the therapist had given her showing the procedure of abortion. That was when I became right to life.

We cover our eyes to the reality of the procedure and its bloodiness and violence, and then it is so much easier to sweep it under the rug....

Anyhoo - just my thoughts.

[barbara]

Oatmeal I'm sure there are CPCs out there that only give counseling to avoid abortion, but that has not been my experience with the ones that I have been associated with.

What they do give is 24 hour help by phone and in emergencies help in person. They give free testing and assist in applying for the financial help that is available through govt. agencies and private charities. They don't have the resources to provide financial help themselves, as they are dependent on donations to keep themselves running.

They have drom style houses where woman and children can live rent free until they can get on their feet. They also have many families that provide housing similar to exchange student housing, and yes the mom will have to live by the family rules in these cases, but it is rent free and meals are provided also.

CPCs also provide clothing for mom and baby, diapers, carseats, cribs, etc. They provide free childbirth education classes and breastfeeding and parenting support groups. Most even provide formula for moms that have already choosen not to breastfeed.

I know many woman that have served as doulas for single moms and thrown baby showers for them, cooked meals when the baby came and knitted layettes.

I just don't know what else you are all expecting from non-profit, volunteer staffed organizations.

It seems to me that bashing CPCs is a lot of hot air. These are charity organizations doing the best they can with limited funds and volunteer staff.

The Govt. has programs available for single moms also that pay for college and child care, as well as formula, dairy products and dry goods, health care and subsidized housing in some cases. There is help available, it isn't always the help one wnats, and the govt. agencies don't treat people with dignity, but the assistance is available.

[Greaseball]

There is no excuse for not treating a pregnant woman with dignity. She carries the next generation (sorry of that sounds hokey, but it's true!) and that child also deserves to be treated with respect. It's not reasonable to punish a child because you disagree with the actions of her parents.

Children benefit a society. Those who bring children into society should be heralded. Without these women, society would not benefit.

Perhaps pregnancy would be less of a crisis for these women if they were told of what good things they were doing for the world, rather than told of how they were "sinning."

[Super Pickle]

Great points Greaseball.
"Perhaps pregnancy would be less of a crisis for these women if they were told of what good things they were doing for the world, rather than told of how they were "sinning.""
...Or that they are ruining their futures or that they are incapable of nurturing a new life.

It's encouraging to know that some of you have used CPC's services (well, in the cases where you got actual help instead of just talk).

Daylily, I had a similar experience to yours: the first place I looked into volunteering at, they never called me back. I remember thinking, "Arent' these places desperate for volunteers?" but looking back I realize it was probably because when she asked me what church I went to, I told her truthfully that we were new in the area and I didn't belong to any church.

[Greaseball]

My dh worked for a year as a church musician and was up front about the fact that he was not a christian. Sometimes what you can do for the place is more important than your beliefs, so I don't see why one would have to attend church to volunteer in a CPC.

T
Does one even have to go to church to be a christian? Plenty of non-christians go to church just because they like the atmosphere of serenity.

[oatmeal]

Originally posted by barbara
Oatmeal I'm sure there are CPCs out there that only give counseling to avoid abortion, but that has not been my experience with the ones that I have been associated with.

What they do give is 24 hour help by phone and in emergencies help in person. They give free testing and assist in applying for the financial help that is available through govt. agencies and private charities. They don't have the resources to provide financial help themselves, as they are dependent on donations to keep themselves running.

They have drom style houses where woman and children can live rent free until they can get on their feet. They also have many families that provide housing similar to exchange student housing, and yes the mom will have to live by the family rules in these cases, but it is rent free and meals are provided also.

CPCs also provide clothing for mom and baby, diapers, carseats, cribs, etc. They provide free childbirth education classes and breastfeeding and parenting support groups. Most even provide formula for moms that have already choosen not to breastfeed.

I know many woman that have served as doulas for single moms and thrown baby showers for them, cooked meals when the baby came and knitted layettes.

I just don't know what else you are all expecting from non-profit, volunteer staffed organizations.

It seems to me that bashing CPCs is a lot of hot air. These are charity organizations doing the best they can with limited funds and volunteer staff.

The Govt. has programs available for single moms also that pay for college and child care, as well as formula, dairy products and dry goods, health care and subsidized housing in some cases. There is help available, it isn't always the help one wnats, and the govt. agencies don't treat people with dignity, but the assistance is available.

barbara - sorry but you are totally generalizing again. I am talking about the only CPC on the entire Westside of Los Angeles. They do NONE of the things you say, there's no 24 hour anything, their "resource list" sends you to WIC and DPSS - "so what"! I say.

What do I expect?

I expect George Bush and Barbara Bush, and the first lady of this country, and Jerry Falwell and all his buddies, and Arnold Schwarznegger (the "child advocate") to PUT THEIR MONEY WHERE THEIR MOUTHS ARE!!!!!

That is what I expect.

I expect there to be fund raising events no less important that AIDS walk to make money for these women and children in peril.

I went to the CPC after my baby was born when I had no money. They gave me a ziplock baggie with 6 diapers in it.

GIVE ME A BREAK!

Women having a baby on their own can't make it under these circumstances and it's no wonder at all the aboriton is the more popular option!

That thing you said about free housing - OH PLEASE! Gimme another break. It doesn't exist in my part of the woods.

Sorry if i sound outraged, it's just this kind of thing is told to women like myself in a crisis pregnancy situation and it's bollocks. We learn too late that the help we were promised doesn't exist and frankly, that is an outrage.

oatmeal.

[Peppermint]

I understand that you are upset about the treatment you received and the lack of care at the center you experienced, but the fact is that these centers are not state funded, they are funded by private donations, given *almost* exclusively by pro-lifers.

I guess I have just been fortunate, of all the centers I have experienced, they have all somehow managed to have enough diapers and formula, and staff for a 24 hour hotline, at a minimum. I now am connected with one of the best, but again, it has all it does, b/c of private citizens choosing to donate to them, I chose to give my tax returns to groups like this, as I know that what the government has already taken is not being given to these groups (luckily a portion of it does go to WIC and such, but still...)

I see Barbara's point, if you do not choose to support these centers, as a private citizen, when you can, then you can't complain about what they are able to provide, they do what they can with what they have, which is not much.

PS_ I have never experienced any CPC with ANY paid employees, all the ones I have known were entirely volunteer staffing, the money they do get is going directly to help women and children.

[Super Pickle]

Housing is a big problem, one we struggle with constantly at the CPC. We have 3 pages full of referrals in our resource directory but they are always full and many have restrictions, such as you have to be under 18, or be hispanic, or have other children, or be planning to place your child for adoption, etc. (Each of these places is independently operated, we just refer to them)

What might work would be for an organization to buy a big house and rent the rooms out to single moms at a low rate, and just let it be a _space_ and allow community to flower naturally among the moms.

[Jane]

There’s one problem with your suggestion. (Please don’t be offended at the parallel I draw here between CPS-watch moms and CPC-moms. It’s just the only thing I have to go on. )
A close friend of mine was trying to get her kids back out of foster care. She attended mandatory parenting classes and was encouraged to “bring a friend” so I ended up going. It was the blind leading the blind. There was a facilitator there, but the discussions were group led, and the peer-to-peer advice was gut-wrenchingly bad. I would hope that there could be long-term continuity with good parents continuing in any group over time. However, I would not expose myself or my children to the parents and children I met that were achieving assistance there.

[Greaseball]

I haven't heard of those that provide housing. I have heard, on teen mom discussion boards, that those who stay at such housing arrangements aren't happy with them. They are not given a safe place, just a free place. Who says a free place has to be dangerous? They were also given curfews or on lockdown after a certain time, and were not free to socialize with friends outside the house. Belongings were randomly searched. They had to shower in front of everyone else. They were treated like prisoners; not like living, feeling women having their first babies.

Just because a place is run on a tight budget doesn't mean it has to be like jail. Pregnancy is not wrong, it's not something one should have to be punished for or "learn their lesson" about. Again, how hard is it to celebrate these women and the lives they carry? How hard is it for a welfare worker, maternity home volunteer or WIC person to say "Congratulations on your pregnancy! Is there anything I can do for you today?"

Yes, beggars can be choosers, especially where their unborn are concerned. Babies need healthy, happy mothers that are well-provided for. It's a need, not a luxury!

[kama'aina mama]

There is a group in my area with the unfortunate name "The Mary Jane House". They provide housing for pregnant women in need over the age of 18 at their facility. They also arrange for pregnant minors to be housed in licensed foster homes. (There is apparently a big legal issue with minors and adults living in the same group home.) These arrangements run for about 8-12 weeks postpartum. They offer free childbirth classes at the center and parenting classes.

[Peppermint]

I agree that women in crisis pregnancies need to have their pregnancies celebrated. The CPC I am working with gives women booties when they get a + pregnancy test, and I am going to be making slings for them. We definitely celebrate the women and her new life created

*although that would make us terrible fanatics to other people, you can't please everyone

[barbara]

Oatmeal, I'm sorry that the CPC in Los Angeles is as you discribe. It is shameful and I think someone like you ought to start one that does provide the things that woman need.

The 3 CPC serving the metropolitan area where I live do all provide the services I mentioned and I know that there are hundreds more like these around the country. Unfortunately they are mostly supported by pro-life churches and individuals and so the funding for them is limited.

I encourage you to start one in your area or support an already existing one so that they can increase the services they are able to provide.

[barbara]

Originally posted by jess7396
I agree that women in crisis pregnancies need to have their pregnancies celebrated. The CPC I am working with gives women booties when they get a + pregnancy test, and I am going to be making slings for them. We definitely celebrate the women and her new life created

*although that would make us terrible fanatics to other people, you can't please everyone

What a great idea to make slings available to women and to give them some booties as soon as they find out they are pregnant, to help them focus on the wonder of the new life they are carrying. Great ideas!