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Too young to be by themselves at night? WWYD? - Page 5

post #81 of 87
Quote:
Originally Posted by LynnS6 View Post
Under this logic, you should never let a child out of your sight, because some horrific thing might happen to them. Horrific things are incredibly rare. Home invasions are rare. Stranger abductions are rare. Most child abuse is perpetrated by people the child knows. That was true 30 years ago when I was 11 and no one talked about child abuse and it's true today.
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I am aware of these things.When reading all of the posts, one can see, I was replying to a pp, saying how much safer our world is today. I was simply giving examples of things that were *not* around in the 60's-70's. Hmm..not sure I would have even listed child abuse, as I know it was happening-in my own home.

Sounds like the OP got some answers she needed. Yay! What a good friend!:
post #82 of 87
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamapoppins View Post
Is the world safer? In the US, I guess I am thinking of violent school and church shootings.Mall shootings. Violent musical lyrics and video games. The extreme sexualization of females,getting younger and younger. Terrorists attacks-from US citizens and Non US citizens. People getting messed up on harder drugs like meth-and either getting violent while high,or while trying to get the drug. The evils and ease of the internet. Violent gangs in most towns and cities. Sure,they were there before-but because of the lack of parents attaching to thier kids,they turn to the gangs as their family. I just spoke with a man from Mexico,he was so upset,as his DS was involved in drugs and crime,refused to be a part of the family anymore,all becsause the DS wanted *stuff*,meaning material things. Kids are not playing ball at the sandlot,or playing outside,because the parents or the kids themselves don't feel safe.Kinders bringing guns to school.More DC and women in homeless shelters.

I think you're really off with these assumptions. We surely hear about all these awful things a lot more than we did 20 years ago. However, statistically, life is safer in the US now than at any other time. Statistics are factual; personal opinions and experiences aren't indicative of the big picture.

Things have surely changed over time, but not nessesarily for the worse.

I think part of being a parent is thinking that your own childhood was much safer/more wholesome than what your children are exposed to. My older aunts (11 yrs older than my mother) heard it from my grandmother, mom my heard it from my older aunts, and now me and my cousins with little children are hearing it from my mom's generation.
post #83 of 87
Quote:
Originally Posted by rhubarbarin View Post
I think you're really off with these assumptions. We surely hear about all these awful things a lot more than we did 20 years ago. However, statistically, life is safer in the US now than at any other time. Statistics are factual; personal opinions and experiences aren't indicative of the big picture.

Things have surely changed over time, but not nessesarily for the worse.

I think part of being a parent is thinking that your own childhood was much safer/more wholesome than what your children are exposed to. My older aunts (11 yrs older than my mother) heard it from my grandmother, mom my heard it from my older aunts, and now me and my cousins with little children are hearing it from my mom's generation.
Again, I don't think I am really off with these assumptions. It's true that because of the click of a mouse, we have the world's bad news at our fingers.

As was stated in pps,THE STATS REALLY DEPEND ON DEMOGRAPHICS. It's right there on the wikipedia website. Actually, I don't see how we can really compare violent stats-when the violence is on the scale of blowing up buildings(Oklahoma City and World Trade Towers), the crimes used via/motivated by the internet,music and video games. These are things that did not exist when I was a kid(60's/early 70's).

And, going waaay OT........perhaps some people believe their own childhood was more wholesome/better/safer than their DC's childhood. For me, I can confidently say that my DC have a much,much more wholesome/better/ and safer than my own childhood. Then again, my own childhood was riddled with drug raids to my house by police(no CPS stepping in then),attending 5 different grade schools, 4 different middle schools, and finally! just one high school; a Mom who put bfs in front of her job as a Mom, being molested for three yrs in my teen yrs, more than a few of Mom's bfs hitting on me, an abusive stepdad,and the best....witnessing my dad try to blow his head off.

VS.....I've been married 18 yrs,offering stabilty, homeschooling(well, till this fall),no abusing drugs or alcohol,practicing AP. And I am an uber mama bear! Though I do have chronic illnesses,which has been no bed of roses for my DC.

Not saying this to pour out a pity party, just to let you know, that lots of us mommas have very different backgrounds-mine was a HUGE motivator to parent the way i do,and strive for something better for them.

I think it may be a more accurate statement(and more appropriate to a variety of people) to say that MOST parents want a better/safer life than they ,themselves, as parents,had.
post #84 of 87
I agree with the posters who have said it depends on the child. I have three children; 12, 10, and 7. This summer they stayed home alone during the day for three hours while I taught summer school. My 7 year old is NOT the average 7 year old; she is very mature for her age. IF she had been like her brother at 7, I would have never done this. We also went over rules and safety issues. We also have family who live close by and dh works 5 minutes away. Honestly, I have said that I feel safer leaving them alone at these ages than I will when they are 15, 13 and 10. At this point, my kids have no clue about the internet, they would never invite friends over, they have no desire to drink, smoke or any interest in the opposite sex. In 3 years, it will be a whole different world.

I also think if this mamma was going off to work, etc. responses would be different. When dh and I want to go out late at night, we get a sitter or arrange sleep overs for the kids. We might go out to dinner in the early evening and leave them at home together, but we do not go out late at night while the kids are sleeping.
post #85 of 87
My 11 year old babysits her younger brother (6) occasionally for an hour or so while I run to the grocery store or a quick errand. We always have emergency phone numbers posted and have gone over safety rules several times. I have never left her alone at night and wouldn't do that because I would be too worried, even though we live next door to a cop and have two extremely protective guard dogs.

But I remember at 9 years old, I babysat at night with my infant sister who was around 6 months old at the time. I did just fine. It totally depends on the maturity of the child and how comfortable they are being left alone.

They have classes here that kids can start taking at 11 and it covers everything from what to do in an emergency to becoming CPR certified. I plan on enrolling her in that soon. But I still wouldn't leave her at night until she's older, it's not that she is not mature enough, it's just for my own peace of mind.

She does absolutely wonderful watching her brother while I run fast errands during the day though. They even surprised me once and washed dishes and cleaned the entire house while I was gone. :
post #86 of 87
i not only babysat my brother at that age but i was paid to babysit other people's children. now however it is not done so much and at any rate would constitute child neglect in my state.
post #87 of 87
I agree with it depending on the kids. I just reconnected with a friend of mine who absolutely has to work every day. Her kids are 13, 11 and 9. They are home alone all day (7:30am-3pm) this summer. The kids grocery shop, keep the house in decent shape, go to the library and pool and have a blast.
I could never do this with my kids because of their temperments.
Both 13yo DD and 11yo DS1 compete for power and arguments frequently erupt. I can leave them alone for 3-5 hours at the most.
My younger friend's kids listen to and defer to their big sister.
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