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How do you just STOP buying? - Page 2

post #21 of 59
Dh and I each get $80/week cash in our hands to spend. That's for food/entertainment/groceries. When you run out, you are stuck with whatever the other wants to buy. I don't like the groceries that he comes home with (we work opposite shifts, so we don't usually go to the grocery store together). So unless I want to eat PB&J or hot dogs every day, I stay away from places like Target (my weakness). This system has seriously stopped my spending. (Even though I complain about it nonstop to anyone that will listen.) We try to keep busy with free activities like the library, the local pool, and parks. And splurge on Slurpees every once in awhile.
post #22 of 59
Thread Starter 
The using cash and keeping a Do Not Buy list sound like ideas that would really work for me. I use debit/credit cards and DH pays all the bills, so it's almost like "pretend" money when I go to the store; if that makes any sense- I don't really have any concrete accountability.

If I had a finite amount of cash in my wallet, I'm sure I'd be less likely to blow it on random stuff at Target.

And with buying extras of stuff we already have, maybe if I write DO NOT BUY KIDS SHIRTS! on a piece of paper it will jog my memory long enough to keep me from making that impulse purchase.

I'm loving all of the ideas here and am taking notes- thanks everyone!
post #23 of 59
I try never to buy the first time I see something. Walk away and think about it.

What am I going to use it for
Where am I going to store it (and I try to clear out that space before buying)
Is this really a one time bargain (for me this boils down to, do I see these in the charity shop regulars and the store will have sales on children's clothing again, I do NOT need to buy everything for the next X years now )

Now I will admit there have been a few things that I have passed up which I've later regretted but only a couple and or course I don;t tend to remember the things I never needed in the first place.
post #24 of 59
So many great ideas here, and several of them fall under the heading of my main broad piece of advice: discover the pleasures of frugality and simplicity. I get way more of a kick from making something myself, or figuring out how to do without something, than I do from actually getting things (in most cases. There are exceptions). I've tried to train myself to appreciate the used and worn over the shiny and new, the handmade over the mass-produced, etc.

Sometimes this works better than other times. I mostly have to stay away from Target. And Ikea.
post #25 of 59
make the rule to yourself that you don't buy it unlss the item is part of your "to-do" list.

Also tell yourself if you really really want the item to write down the info, and think about it for 3 days, if after 3 days you still need the item, look for the best bargin.

Don't use a cart or basket when you shop, if you have to physically carry the item in your hands around the store you won't get as many things. (doesn't make sense when yor ding a big huge grocery shop but during those times ONLY what is on the list goes into the buggy.

Accept the fact that it's okay to leave a store without buying anything, if you just like to look,then go ahead and look, just don't buy.

Go with the rule something cmes into the home, somethng goes out of the home.
post #26 of 59
Go shopping without a car. If DH gets groceries on his motorbike, he's limited to what can fit in his tank bag, panniers and (for really big shops) backpack. Which is quite a lot, actually; but it means we don't get toilet paper *and* juice. Which means we drink a lot less juice, toilet paper being kinda necessary.

If I get groceries, I'm limited to what I can stuff under, around and on top of the baby in the pram! Better still!
post #27 of 59
Haven't read the rest of the responses.

Keep a list of "Stuff I Should Get If I Find a Sale". Keep it in your purse. The reality is, sales happen and good ones ENHANCE our lives.

Make a financial goal. When you're going to buy something, ask if this purchase will get you closer to the goal. That kills most of it for me.

I also stick to envelopes for groceries, "household", clothing and a few other categories. They get funded every paycheck--but when the cash is gone... too bad. We're stuck making do with what we have and doing a pantry challenge. Doing that will make you KEENLY aware of what clothing and chatchke's you have at home.
post #28 of 59
While you're working on cutting down on shopping, try to remember to save your receipts. If you get home and have shoppers remorse, you can return things. Target is getting strict about returns, but if you have a receipt, they're easy.
post #29 of 59
I have a small house, so I practice the 1-in, 1-out rule; if I bring it home, I have to send something else out to the thrifts. If you have to ask yourself what you'll be tossing out, it can quell the thirst for something new.
post #30 of 59
I follow alot of what y'all are saying. Stay out of stores! I will go to a bookstore, get a coffee and browse, but not buy. And instead of spending money on things from stores, I found I much more enjoy spending money on shipping for swaps in our swap forum, that is so much fun!
post #31 of 59
Think about what you could do with the money you would save if you didn't buy those non essentials. Have you always wanted to take a family vacation? Is there a particular high end purse (like Coach or Louis Vuitton) you would love to have? Every time you do NOT spend $5 here and $7 there, allocate that to your "special fund" for your special purchase. Do you have a lot of credit card debt? If so, you could allocate that money to pay down your debt. Focus on how good it will feel to be rid of that burden. Do you have enough "emergency savings"? If not, you could use that money to add to it. The point is to focus on how good it will feel to do something more productive with the money you're currently spending on non essentials. When you want to pick up that 50th T-shirt, visualize that family vacation or expensive purse or credit card stmt with a zero balance. Feel how good it feels. Embrace that awesome feeling and it may make it easier to "just say no"

Good Luck!
post #32 of 59
Quote:
Originally Posted by AlpineMama View Post
I drive my DH crazy because I will go through before the check-out and really weed out our shopping cart of impulse stuff. It cuts down a lot. I know it's really quite rude to do that but... it helps us not buy stuff.

Also, just having DH with me helps. I refuse to go without him because he really questions me on why we need that, and he gently makes fun of me if I get "stuck" in the candle aisle, for example.

Also, having DS and DD throwing fits out of boredom is a great way to not linger forever in the store!
I notice that if I stay in a store for a long time - like an hour or whatever - that I start putting stuff back. So what would work for me is to just stay in the store longer. After a while, I might not have anything in the cart. (I know this won't work for everyone, but I just start thinking, "We don't need this...").
post #33 of 59
Do things that interest you (that are not about shopping). I'm not saying do things that are busywork and not meanigful to you. Like, don't decide to wash all the floors with a rag...but maybe plant an organic garden, (or some pots). Get some chickens (lol Ok, this is my drug of choice...) If you need to 'get' something, go to the library. lol It does work!

When you have other interesting, more important thigs to do, going to the mall or Target just seems like a terrible chore. I send my dh to those places when we need pens or something. Of course, if my dh detested shopping as much as I do, we 'dhave problems, because sometimes you do need a hammer...or the new Gourmet mag that has a waiting list at the library. heehee
post #34 of 59
Quote:
Originally Posted by sunanthem View Post
I follow alot of what y'all are saying. Stay out of stores! I will go to a bookstore, get a coffee and browse, but not buy. And instead of spending money on things from stores, I found I much more enjoy spending money on shipping for swaps in our swap forum, that is so much fun!
Well...I think I'm saying Take Back Your Life. Do things that fulfill you. Spending money on stuff, no matter where, is not, in the end, contributing to a fulfilled life.

It might start with not using shopping as a way to spend time, which might lead to an interest and /or work that can be done even with small children around. Not that it is all that easy anyway to shop with small children.

Have you considered the library at all. Even if the one closest to you bites, you might find one a bit further away that works. Our library even has a kids' playroom. My hsing/using homies and I meet there lots. Also, check out Inter Library Loan-- you can get good books from better libraries, but pick them up at your close sucky library.
post #35 of 59
I am glad I am not the only one with a Target habit. Since I am moving soon, I have been avoiding going there to avoid buying more stuff.

At the end of any shopping trip, before I get in line to pay, I go through my basket or stuff and really think if I need it, where I am going to put it at home, if I am going to use it in the next 3 months? If the answer is no, I put it back even if its on sale or clearance. The only exception is if it would make a good xmas or bday gift.

The Target dollar spot has sucked me in way too much. Now, I am much more careful before just plopping things in my cart.
post #36 of 59
Quote:
Originally Posted by UUMom View Post
Well...I think I'm saying Take Back Your Life. Do things that fulfill you. Spending money on stuff, no matter where, is not, in the end, contributing to a fulfilled life.

It might start with not using shopping as a way to spend time, which might lead to an interest and /or work that can be done even with small children around. Not that it is all that easy anyway to shop with small children.

Have you considered the library at all. Even if the one closest to you bites, you might find one a bit further away that works. Our library even has a kids' playroom. My hsing/using homies and I meet there lots. Also, check out Inter Library Loan-- you can get good books from better libraries, but pick them up at your close sucky library.
OH yeah, I do go to the library alot, and we even get movies there, and zi love our summer reading program. But when I feel like going out somewhere, or to town, sometimes I go to the bookstore and treat myself to a fancy coffee. And the swaps I do are mostly handmade stuff, so most of the time I am making lots of crafts at home.
post #37 of 59
Quote:
Originally Posted by sunanthem View Post
OH yeah, I do go to the library alot, and we even get movies there, and zi love our summer reading program. But when I feel like going out somewhere, or to town, sometimes I go to the bookstore and treat myself to a fancy coffee. And the swaps I do are mostly handmade stuff, so most of the time I am making lots of crafts at home.
Here's a confession-- I am not a crafty person-- at all-- but I sometimes like to knit very simple things. I was not very good about finding or swapping for cheap yarn. No...I had to go to the fancy little yarn shop. You know that came to no good. I'm in recovery now. And I knit very slowly, so I shouldn't need anymore yarn.

Personally, I think a once- in- a- while treat of a nice coffee in a little bookstore is good therapy and doesn't need to be given up. Seems a lot of innocent, theraputic pleasure for very little money.
post #38 of 59
Buy what you want and only what you want---even if it's full price.

This has helped me so much. And now I have only beautiful things that I love.

Don't look for bargains and then you're not tempted to buy things you don't need just because they're cheap. Just buy that one thing you want and get out the door.

Feels good because I'm worth it.
post #39 of 59
Quote:
Originally Posted by Penuche View Post
While you're working on cutting down on shopping, try to remember to save your receipts. If you get home and have shoppers remorse, you can return things. Target is getting strict about returns, but if you have a receipt, they're easy.
Yep, I've been doing that lately. They seem to be ok with returns if it's on your cc even without receipts. I've been enjoying shopping, then being brutal with myself on returns, and making them quickly. I feel like I can justify this since shopping with the "twiddlers" makes it difficult to think straight anyway.
post #40 of 59
Thread Starter 
doing the return thing has been helping alot- i can still buy something on impulse, then when i'm thinking clearly about what we have and what we need (and when the kids aren't all with me!), i can re-evaluate my purchases and take them back when i'm at the store again- not making any special trips these days due to gas cost.

i almost went to a local shoe store yesterday for their big markdown sale, but realized that none of us need any shoes and anything i would buy, as good of a deal as it might be, would be extra. that's huge for me. i love shoes and so do my kids
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