Delivery change of plans! ...and a bit of a rant

[Surfer Rosa]

So I think I've decided to have a home birth.: The more I think about it, the more I feel like it's the right choice. We had DD in a hospital with a MW last time, but it was more like a hotel. We didn't deal with doctors, nurses, etc. We just came in, used the facility, hung out for a few hours, and headed home. We were there for about 8 hours total. I don't have any problems with another hospital birth.
I thought we would proceed the same way this time. I was a little iffy about HB b/c of our location, but after weighing the pros/cons, (ie I'm low risk, we're only 20-30 min from the hospital, etc.), it feels like a HB would be right. I am also pretty sure that this is my last pregnancy, so I don't want to feel like I've missed out by not having a HB.

The problem:
My only hesitations are centred on family, specifically inlaws. My MIL (who is the best MIL ever-she lives on an ashram and is seriously the most laid back, peaceful person I've ever met, I love her to bits) is coming for all of August to watch my 3 year old. This is great-but I worry I might be a little self-conscious about birthing with her/ DD in the house. I know I would feel comfortable asking her to take DD out, but what if it's the middle of the night? The other thing is DH's sister. Again-awesome person, but she is just clueless. She sent us an email a couple of weeks ago, detailing her arrival...on my due date. I mean, WTF? There's not really much to discuss at this point, as her tickets are booked. I am a little ticked about this, to say the least (I know she will not interfere, and will respect our privacy, but I just feel like her timing is super-inconsiderate). So if she's around, it looks like we'll be going with Plan A and going to the hospital...which a few weeks ago, I wouldn't have cared about, but now feel a little bummed about. Maybe it's just the end of pregnancy hormones, but I'm a little stewy about the whole thing!
/rant!

Thanks for reading. If you can visualize me going into labour before the 8th-much appreciated! Then I can avoid the whole SIL issue.

[robertandenith]

Originally Posted by fridgeart

So I think I've decided to have a home birth.: The more I think about it, the more I feel like it's the right choice. We had DD in a hospital with a MW last time, but it was more like a hotel. We didn't deal with doctors, nurses, etc. We just came in, used the facility, hung out for a few hours, and headed home. We were there for about 8 hours total. I don't have any problems with another hospital birth.
I thought we would proceed the same way this time. I was a little iffy about HB b/c of our location, but after weighing the pros/cons, (ie I'm low risk, we're only 20-30 min from the hospital, etc.), it feels like a HB would be right. I am also pretty sure that this is my last pregnancy, so I don't want to feel like I've missed out by not having a HB.

The problem:
My only hesitations are centred on family, specifically inlaws. My MIL (who is the best MIL ever-she lives on an ashram and is seriously the most laid back, peaceful person I've ever met, I love her to bits) is coming for all of August to watch my 3 year old. This is great-but I worry I might be a little self-conscious about birthing with her/ DD in the house. I know I would feel comfortable asking her to take DD out, but what if it's the middle of the night? The other thing is DH's sister. Again-awesome person, but she is just clueless. She sent us an email a couple of weeks ago, detailing her arrival...on my due date. I mean, WTF? There's not really much to discuss at this point, as her tickets are booked. I am a little ticked about this, to say the least (I know she will not interfere, and will respect our privacy, but I just feel like her timing is super-inconsiderate). So if she's around, it looks like we'll be going with Plan A and going to the hospital...which a few weeks ago, I wouldn't have cared about, but now feel a little bummed about. Maybe it's just the end of pregnancy hormones, but I'm a little stewy about the whole thing!
/rant!

Thanks for reading. If you can visualize me going into labour before the 8th-much appreciated! Then I can avoid the whole SIL issue.

You can start showing her videos on youtube about births. I have a 3 yo and I REALLY want her to be present in my birth This is one of my fav sites where it shows a little boy younger than 3, he doesn't look scared at all. They will understand if you prepare them

http://www.simplybirth.com.au/index....d=33&Itemid=27

I am so happy for you and your homebirth! :

[psychocandy]

Do you have the money (and the guts!) to get your MIL and SIL a hotel as soon as you go into labor? I know I would have a hard time asking, but maybe if you discuss it with them beforehand, and let them know that it could be the middle of the night, and see what they say? They could take your DD and then you and your DH can have the house to yourselves.

[~Megan~]

I think that you shouldn't have house guests. If you go into labor arrange a hotel room for the night for them.

[hempmama]

WTF? SIL is free to arrive on your due date, but no way is she free to sleep in your home! That's insanity!

I think having MIL around is great, to take care of your DD. Do you want DD to see the birth? I wouldn't, or even want them to be around (can't focus while being mom) so my thoughts are based on that assumption. If it's the middle of the night, they'll be asleep, or at least you can tell MIL to go to her room(or maybe go sleep in DD's room?) and pretend to sleep so as not to deal with them. Then they can get up and go out to breakfast, no problem. Actually you could use any discomfort she might have with homebirth to your advantage, and keep her away under the guise of keeping DD away.

[Surfer Rosa]

Originally Posted by hempmama

If it's the middle of the night, they'll be asleep, or at least you can tell MIL to go to her room(or maybe go sleep in DD's room?) and pretend to sleep so as not to deal with them. Then they can get up and go out to breakfast, no problem. Actually you could use any discomfort she might have with homebirth to your advantage, and keep her away under the guise of keeping DD away.

Love this idea! One of the reasons I wasn't sure about a HB before, was that DD would be distracting for me. MIL will be on board for the above...so that would work well. The more I think about it, the less I'm feeling self conscious about MIL being around (she's an energy worker, and is used to people making weird noises), but SIL is just too much. I just have to hope it happens before the 8th, or while she's away from the 10-12th <crosses fingers>.
The hotel thing is a great idea-but it won't fly. When she gets here, I'll talk to her for sure. Otherwise, I'm just going to stew, and she'll wonder what's up.
Thanks for reading my rant! I just picked up most of my HB supplies this morning-and am getting stoked about it!

[hempmama]

I can see you are in the process of letting this go, and don't want to stir the pot, but I just really feel like there's got to be something to be done about SIL! Can you put it back on her? "Wow, you're coming ON my due date?! I'm having a homebirth, you know, and obviously I'm not giving birth with you in the house! Where are you going to go if I haven't delivered yet?"

OK, I swear I'll shut up now, and just send you birthing-before-the-8th vibes!