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Large family forum? - Page 2

post #21 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by HopesMom View Post
Bumping this up b/c I truly need some insight from other MoMs.

I feel like I spend my day putting out fires--not parenting.

Yes, I manage to care for them (food, clothes, I get them to their activities) but I don't feel like I have the time/energy/focus to actually PARENT them.

Does that make any sense? Any sense at all?

My lack of time for them is showing in their behavior too, which is why I spend what seems like every moment putting out fires. What am I doing wrong?

I just never feel like I am able to catch up and feel sane and I miss spending quality time with my two older kiddos.

No one in my life seems to get how frustrated I feel.
Yes this makes sense! I often feel like I am in the same boat. It is so frustrating when you feel like you can't connect with the kids for any length of time. DD is 5 and the twins are 22 months, and today has been a particularly nasty behavior day so far. Being 18 weeks pg really isn't helping the situation. I feel driven to keep up with chores lately because my DH just can't pick up my slack and I am tired of the filth. None of my kids are helpful with most chore stuff, so they just pick at each other while I sweep, make meals, ect.. At the moment they are eating lunch and then ***hopefully*** they will nap, 'cause MAN do I need one. adding number 4 seems like more than I can handle today.
post #22 of 26
Oh Dear Mamas!!

I've been meaning to reply since the past two posts but needless to say I am swamped!!! Yikes! I wish I could give you all a hug- and some free babysitting!!!

I spent every waking minute last week not even cleaning- just picking up from my 5 tornadoes (okay, 6 with my DH!!) I took one day "off" and everything was back to a huge destructive state!! Why even bother???

I thought of you all yesterday as I was trying to help my three older kids with homework, while I was holding one twin with the other standing at my feet crying. I totally understand the challenges you all have mentioned!! I do feel so sad that I don't get to do more with the older kids.

I'm wondering if anyone else feels this way- I feel like I have to be very careful who and how much I vent to about being so overwhelmed because having 5 kids was MY choice. I LOVE having a large family, but I think most people feel that we brought this on ourselves and that we shouldn't have had so many kids if we couldn't handle it! Do you ever get those vibes? It's probably just my own inner voice and not really an issue.

mamajody- I love to have my house picked up to!! That's the thing that drives me crazy. I have let it go tons- someday I won't have piles everywhere!! I hope you are taking it easy being pregnant. Take advantage of this time and let people wait on you!!!

HopesMom- sorry I don't have any great advice for you! I know where you're at and it's very tough. All I can say is that it does get easier over time. I try really hard to take care of myself emotionally- getting time to myself, etc..... And as I'm typing I have a LO howling at my feet!!! Ugh!Can I try to PM you later???
post #23 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamaof5boys View Post

I'm wondering if anyone else feels this way- I feel like I have to be very careful who and how much I vent to about being so overwhelmed because having 5 kids was MY choice. I LOVE having a large family, but I think most people feel that we brought this on ourselves and that we shouldn't have had so many kids if we couldn't handle it! Do you ever get those vibes? It's probably just my own inner voice and not really an issue.

...Can I try to PM you later???
(of course you can PM me)

I also feel like I shouldn't be complaining about our situation. It is definitely my own internal voice although I often suspect its what everyone else is thinking too.
post #24 of 26
You know what really gets me?? While I didn't really choose to have a "big" family, I am rather glad that I am having another baby. We found out today that it is a girl, and my DD is just thrilled to have a sister to pal around with. But what burns me up is when I get comments like, "Wow! FOUR KIDS?!?!?!" Yes you nitwit, I can count as well as you can.: Then they will notice the boys are really similar and ask how far apart they are. When I explain they are in fact twins you should just hear the ridiculous relief in their voices. As if somehow it lessens my crimes against nature that I have only had 3 pregnancies rather than the obscene amount of 4 pregnancies. Do they think the twins are only one person, that I only count them once or something?
post #25 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamajody View Post
But what burns me up is when I get comments like, "Wow! FOUR KIDS?!?!?!" Yes you nitwit, I can count as well as you can.: Then they will notice the boys are really similar and ask how far apart they are. When I explain they are in fact twins you should just hear the ridiculous relief in their voices. As if somehow it lessens my crimes against nature that I have only had 3 pregnancies rather than the obscene amount of 4 pregnancies.
YES!! : This is me!!

With our twins being our youngest, it's always this conspiratorial "Boy, I bet that was a surprise!", certain that I had wanted only four kids. It sounds so futile to say, "No really! I always wanted to have 5 kids. . . no, really!"
post #26 of 26
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamajody View Post
As if somehow it lessens my crimes against nature that I have only had 3 pregnancies rather than the obscene amount of 4 pregnancies. Do they think the twins are only one person, that I only count them once or something?
That's so funny!!! I have a friend who is on number 8, (all singletons and it does make me go WOW she did 8 pregnancies!!! but then I'm feeling WOW I'm doing twins atm, so it's different 'cool mama' factors iykwim ), and others who have 4/5 but expect to have more at some point so I try to talk to them about any larger family issues/ grumbles I'm having - less judgement that I dug my own grave, you know.

I tease all the larger families now that they'll have multiples next because chances are higher with more children. Hehe. My 8 children family friend said I'm just trying to catch up with her quicker
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