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In my body, my bedroom, my marriage.....  

post #1 of 59
10/23/03 at 6:41pm
Thread Starter 
and now my home.

Our gov't. Here in the home of the free.

Tells me which medical procedures I can or cannot choose to have.

Tells me I can't have anal sex (this one may be going away)

Tells me who I can marry, and also takes away the rights of my spouse to act as my guardian if they see fit.

Now I read that they will prosecute me if I don't keep a good enough house for my children. Even after being a good pro-lifer and bearing all my children after my partner abandons them.

All I have so far is Maggie Gallagher's op-ed, I will try to research the story. This stinks..........real bad.

WHY IS ONLY THE MOTHER CULPABLE IN CONNECTICUT BOY'S DEATH?


grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr






El
post #2 of 59
10/23/03 at 6:46pm


what happened to the vomit smilie?
post #3 of 59
10/23/03 at 6:53pm
If the system does not hold her responsible, it may look like the school system, social services system, psychiatric medical system, is partially responsible.

We are now being pushed by the "religious self-righteuos right" to be held to their imagined standards.

This is just the tip of the iceburg imho. People, not only single mom's, that have children that are being raised substandard, according to the "New Reich", because it reeks of similarities as to what the Nazi's did in Germany, will be placing children, for their own protection mind you, in homes that "follow the party-line". The society now has a misplaced sense of responsibility towards children and is running with it to see how far they can go.

I hope she appeals to the Supreme Court. This is just absurd.

MNS
post #4 of 59
10/23/03 at 7:39pm
I'm certainly not taking sides in this, as the only information I have is from the link you posted. However, I would suspect that the mother probably had full legal and physical custody of the boy (given that the dad was, according to the story, in and out of jail all the time). If this is correct, then she, rather than the dad, is on the hook for the child's upbringing (legally, in any event, that is).

You can't both have your cake and eat it, folks.
post #5 of 59
10/23/03 at 7:40pm
This is terrible! My heart breaks for that woman.
post #6 of 59
10/23/03 at 8:16pm
Is there another link? How did the boy kill himself? Did the school do anything to try and stop the bullying? What exactly was wrong with the mother's house?

But I agree that it's always the single mother who gets blamed and not the absent father. So because he's in and out of jail, he shouldn't have to be responsible for his child? No! People who have children should not do things they will go to jail for. Fathers need to start taking responsibility even if they don't have full custody.

The reason single mothers are single is often because the father chooses to walk out or to be otherwise unfit - most single moms I know are not single by choice.
post #7 of 59
10/23/03 at 8:54pm
Quote:
Tells me I can't have anal sex (this one may be going away)
When Ashcroft comes to your door, just tell him it was dark, and you were too sleepy to notice the difference.
post #8 of 59
10/23/03 at 9:14pm
The 12 year old boy hung himself with a necktie in his closet. And the court has decided that it is his mothers fault for being too tired from working 60 hours a week (one job at the boys school, a second at Walmart) to either clean the apartment herself or strong arm the boy and/or his 17 y/o sister to clean it. Apparently they feel that a dirty bathtub and clothes on the floor had more to do with him killing himself than being so upset and frightened by being repeatedly beaten, spat upon and kicked at school that he slept hiding in his closet with a knife handy for protection and had skipped about 45 days of school before Christmas break started.
post #9 of 59
10/23/03 at 10:00pm

hmmm...

Quote:
Bad as his messy home apparently was, young Daniel Scruggs preferred staying there to the local public school where witnesses say he was hit, kicked, spit upon and harassed to the point of publicly defecating and urinating in his pants. He missed 44 days of school that year.
This is a crime. The school, the tormentors and the district should be the ones charged. I was raised by a single mother. I know how hard it is for one person to do it all. I'm sory, but since when does a messy, or dare I even say a filthy house intice someone to suicide? It may entice them to a vaccuum cleaner, not suicide.

This bot was traumatized beyond reasonable thought by bullies and sadly this happens every single day in our schools. If adults were to act like that at work, there would be prisions full of them. But because your in school its ok? Whatever.

Slightly OT here, but why is it whenever something like this happens it's automaticly blamed on the "religious right"? What in the world does ones faith have to do with stupidity?
post #10 of 59
10/23/03 at 10:01pm
Thread Starter 
There are a number of articles on this boy if you search Google. All them are similar.................. Poor kid. Poor mom.

I fully believe the system is dodging the bullit and deflecting it unjustly toward the mother.

Why can't society see what is happening in so many single parent households? We can borrow 87 billion for Iraq but cannot ensure that kids have a parent available to them part of the day.

I'm so sick of this patriarchal society that continues to victimize women and children!! All the while claiming to care deeply for the children (really only the unborn).

He was a cute little guy.............

‘Bullycide’ or Neglect?

Quote:
At Scruggs' request, the school sent an outreach worker to talk to her son. However, Daniel's absences continued. Washington Middle School's guidance counselor contacted the state Department of Children and Families for suspected physical and educational neglect. (A DCF social worker conducted an investigation and did not find any signs of neglect. Daniel's case was closed the case weeks before his death.) The school filed a petition with the Superior Court for Juvenile Matters, which assigned a probation officer to Daniel.

But none of these initial measures helped Daniel. He didn't attend school after Nov. 28, 2001. School officials met with Scruggs on Dec. 4 and recommended that she have him tested in several areas, including his social-emotional capabilities and behavioral functions.

According to defense attorney Norris, Scruggs was told that the earliest she could schedule an appointment for Daniel was the following month, on Jan. 2, 2002. And Scruggs did call on that day to schedule counseling and tests — but that was before she knew Daniel had killed himself.


El
post #11 of 59
10/23/03 at 10:44pm
Do you have a link?

Quote:
If adults were to act like that at work, there would be prisions full of them. But because your in school its ok? Whatever.
*this* is one reason DH is really behind homeschooling. He always felt like a social outcast, but come adulthood and he is totally normal. A much wider range of behavior is accepted from adults w/out negativity (like "dorkiness" and bad dressing ) and we just don't understand the benifits of being raised like this.

Kay
post #12 of 59
10/23/03 at 11:04pm
This is absolutely

I do believe that clean home, clothes, food etc should be provided for a child. But, what *they* do with it is up to them (is the mother or 17 year old sister dirty like that? If no, its probably the boys choice).

And it *DOES NOT* matter what he was doing (being stinky, not dressing cool, whatever) the school has a moral responsibility to not let him get spit on and stuff. Horrid, horrid, horrid.
post #13 of 59
10/23/03 at 11:20pm
I ment this to be a response, not a new thread. UGH....
Can someone please move this back to the original my body, my marriage...thread???? Thank you and sorry for my boo-boo
post #14 of 59
10/23/03 at 11:32pm
: aaaah, now it all makes so much more sense (after having read the other thread!)
post #15 of 59
10/23/03 at 11:44pm
I am absolutely speachless.

Who's next? Us?

It is cases like these that make me fear that my daughter could be taken from me because I could be considered neglectful.

This is the reason I make sure my house is SPOTLESS and things are picked up, for fear that someone will see a dirty house and call social services.

I cannot even imagine the pain and loss this mothering is suffering, not to mention the anger and frustration she must feel with all of this being laid upon her.

If you have ever been picked on and bullied at school you might be able to understand how suicide could be an option. I know for my husband it was.

I just can't believe the mother is being blamed for her sons suicide, especially when authorities had been called out a few times.

*sigh*
post #16 of 59
10/24/03 at 12:00am
Quote:
It is cases like these that make me fear that my daughter could be taken from me because I could be considered neglectful.
Well, you're married so you are less at risk. I wish I wasn't kidding, but I find social services to be VERY classist.
post #17 of 59
10/24/03 at 12:00am
Sorry, I will have to be the lone voice of dissent here.
A 12 yo. *most likely* would not kill himself just because he was being bullied in school. I would bet my last tax dollar that he has had a crappy home life from the very beginning. If all 12 yo's who were bullied relentlessly killed themselves, we would probably have lost 15% of our American population. A strong, loving home life *can* buffer a person from some of that torment. If a loving home life is not present, sure, I can see how the poor kid would have been driven to commit suicide.
I think that because she's a single mother, you automatically take her side instead of the govt's. I think it's great to defend the underdog, but this really reeks of a horrible, nasty home life.... single, married, whatever.... I would still come to that same conclusion.
post #18 of 59
10/24/03 at 12:03am
I assume being bullied is probably the most "popular" reason for pre-adolescents to consider suicide.

I really don't see what more this mother could have done (besides quitting a job, which I wish she had felt was an option) if she really was trying to get counseling (like stated), in contact w/ the school, etc..
post #19 of 59
10/24/03 at 12:12am
Thread Starter 
I find it amazing that parents are not charged when they *forget* to drop the child at daycare and she dies slowly in the hot car but, here they find cause to charge the mother.

You're right, candiland, I am siding with the single mom breaking down herself under the strain........................she doesn't deserve this.


El
post #20 of 59
10/24/03 at 12:19am
Why would you assume this child had a crappy home life? Where have you read that? Is there a link?

Nothing in the stories I have read support that claim, and I suppose if you ahve not been a victim of bullying, you couldn't imagine the pain.

And I am siding with this mother until further facts against her are shown.
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