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What did you gain when you became a SAHM?

post #1 of 27
Thread Starter 
Other than of course stretch marks, lets talk about all the great things and maybe not so great things you gained with this title.
post #2 of 27
Stains on most of my clothing, a messier house, and more : than ever.
post #3 of 27
Thread Starter 
Funny you say!

I also gained:

about 4 more loads of laundry a week!
24 hour company from my girls
someone loving me for just being me, Mommy
the gift of watching these girls change daily and see them grow.

I could go on and on...:
post #4 of 27
I have gained:

the best title of my life MOMMA -- the one i have wanted since i was a child

two very demanding bosses -- but they are sooooooooooo darn cute

a purpose

an ablity to touch tomorrow every second of the day -- for good and bad

a connection with the past and the future

[more to follow]
post #5 of 27
I may become annoying on this thread. I love to make these kind of uplifting lists. These aren't necessarily isolated to SAHM, but I think more accentuated because of it...

-more unconditional love
-my life's purpose
-a remarkable partner (DH)
-a fun little buddy
-a healthier diet and lifestyle
-awareness of how strong I can be
-more appreciation for ME time
-more appreciation for everything in general
-motivation to better myself
-I learned how to cook
-raw vulnerability
post #6 of 27
I gained the wonderful and life-altering opportunity to watch my baby grow into a little girl day by day. I got to hear her first words, take her first steps, say her first "I love you".:
post #7 of 27
-being the main teacher of my children
-Getting to go to social activities. I'm pretty extroverted.
-Seeing my children experience new things.
-Earning a great deal of respect from my husband for all that I do.
-Peace of mind.
post #8 of 27
the moment to monet accountablity of having little eyes watching and little ear listening to me ALL THE TIME ... wow THAT will make you be a better person
post #9 of 27
Originally Posted by Jasmyn's Mum View Post
I gained the wonderful and life-altering opportunity to watch my baby grow into a little girl day by day. I got to hear her first words, take her first steps, say her first "I love you".:

I've also gained:

more self-esteem (because I feel I'm a better mom than a lot of other things I could be)
a sense of a deeper purpose (because even though I have hard days, I believe in what I'm doing)
a new level of respect for children (because they're even more amazing than I knew)
more awe for parents (because now I know how demanding the job is)
deeper faith in God (because I feel that I'm witnessing miracles every day)
post #10 of 27
I've gained lots of things above, but most importantly -- more love and joy then I ever though possible! I really mean that. My children just make my heart overflow with love every day!
post #11 of 27
Here is my story of becoming a SAHM....

To be completely honest I never thought I would be a stay at home mom. I did not really desire it, but that was what my DH wanted.
I was a student when I got pg and I desired to finish getting my phsycology degree and start my practice. But my hubby wanted me to get our child into/through school before focusing on my career. I was not fond of that idea, so I tried to take night classes.....but that was not working because sometimes I would have to take my dd with me.....and that is no good. So I stopped and hoped to restart later.....but I have had more kids since then and that dream seemed to have slipped through my fingers...but honestly I do not know that it was bad that it did because I have since questioned if that is what I truly want and I would have been ticked to have spent thousands and thousands of dollars on a degree that I did not care to use.

So to answer the question of what I gained when I first became a SAHM was.....the right to sleep in. Thankfully my dd was a late sleeper so I could sleep in too.
Now that I have been a SAHM for over 6 years, I now have been thinking about a part time job or something (would like a change).......but I am nursing my youngest, so that is not an option right now.

oh and it has been nice to be a SAHM so that when my dd went to school, I could be a part of the school activities...which made it easier for me to adjust to the whole school thing. I was my dd's room mother....which I thought was cool. I got to know the kids that my dd was hanging around all day and most importantly the teacher which was now responsible for my precious little girl while she was gone from me. That really helped things out.
post #12 of 27
So to answer the question of what I gained when I first became a SAHM was.....the right to sleep in. .[/QUOTE]

This was actually the first thing I thought of...: When I taught, I'd get up at 530 to leave by 6 to get there by 630 so I could get things ready for school (started at 730). Now, I'm generally not even awake at 730....After about 18 mos, DD started sleeping later...

Something else I gained (but really lost) was that I weigh about 20 lbs less than when I got pregnant...between a fetus that sucked me dry (seriously - everything except my belly got skinnier), breastfeeding, and a toddler that's perpetually on "overdrive", it's melting off.

Oh, but I have a stress fracture in my knee now - when I said perpetually in overdrive, I meant it

I've gained an ally in my food tastes - DH doesn't particularly like veggies, ethnic foods, etc, but DD is all about the veggies and spicy foods. Plus, I can more readily get him to agree to organics "for the baby"

I've gained a comedian. She's got such a little sense of humor.

The ability to relate a little more to my best friend (she had 3 by the time I had one)

Oh, also an ally in my tv tastes. DD loves American Idol and Nashville Star - anything with singing. We have to have it one "for the baby".

A playmate for the dog. A playmate for me.

A greater appreciation for my mom (good lord, she was 3 mos PREGNANT when I was Katie's age...and I was more of a handful, if that's possible).

Frustration - I love Katie to death, but, I'm not good with the under-3 set. At all...we're 2/3 of the way done, though, right?

From this board, I've gained a greater appreciation for all my husband does with the baby.

Getting to watch Katie grow into a caring human being. Last night, before she went to bed, instead of just my kiss and hug, she came over and said, "Oh, boo-boo knee" and gave my knee a kiss.

A look at who *I* was at her age (everyone who knew me as a baby says she's me...looks, temperment, even when she reached milestones...).

An appreciation for my time alone :

Someone for whom to make the holidays magical.

A pupil. I taught for years, and one of my frustrations was not being able to do everything for everyone....I still won't be able to do that, but, I'll probably be a hell of a lot better at adapting to my daughter's needs than a class of 28.

A good friend (from MDC) who has a toddler a few months younger than Katie...she's my first local friend since we moved here (almost 3 years ago).
post #13 of 27
Originally Posted by TanyaS View Post
Stains on most of my clothing, a messier house, and more : than ever.

I gained a new perspective on life. I was so go, go, go, go all the time before DD came along. Now, everything has slowed down. While showing things to her, I find myself taking a second to stop and look at things that I would've never noticed before. I mean, I'd never really stopped to look at the day lilies in my yard, but they sure caught DD's attention. I like to think that being a SAHM has allowed me to stop and smell the lilies. (No rose bushes here!)

So many of you have said exactly what I've gained ... a deeper purpose, appreciation for me time, the life altering experience of watching DD grow.
post #14 of 27
Being able to hug and kiss my kids and see their sweet smiles anytime I want.

Being able to nurse my baby all day long if he wants to.

And the #1 best thing for us is that our previously very sickly baby with reactive airway disease has finally been able to heal completely and doesn't require any meds anymore now that we're staying at home. :
post #15 of 27
oh and the sleeping in factor got tougher when she started waking earlier and when I had more kids.....but I will say that my kids are more forgiving if I oversleep than a boss would be...lol
post #16 of 27
Ive gained a lot..

One I think it returned my sanity. When I came back from Iraq I wasn't quite emotionally/mentally whole. I had a lot of problems from being over there and a lot of days it just didn't seem worth it getting up or doing anything. When I got pregnant with DD it gave me a new lease on life. In many ways DD and my husband saved my life. Shes snapped me out of it faster than anything else could.

I gained the unconditional love of a very special person. Theres nothing quite like having her run up to me, throw her arms around my legs and tell me she loves me. It makes all the messes, tantrums and crying fits worth while.

I gained a new perspective on life
I gained the opportunity to see the world though new eyes. DD is always willing to show me things that I no longer notice (like the "flowers" that grow amongst the leaves)
I gained more happiness than I thought possible.
I gained about 10 pounds, but thats ok too.
My house is messier but its a good messy of a growing child.
I gained laundry but I also gained a helper who loves to help me fold and put it away
I gained a new found respect for my husband and more love for him. I always respected and loved him but theres just something about a big burly man in a Marines uniform cuddling and calming a crying baby. It just melts my heart.
post #17 of 27
Thread Starter 
Okimom- that is one of the best posts I have read in a long time! sniff sniff....

But I also gained a whole new respect and love for my DH. Seeing him with our girls is so awesome and when DD1 was born, I will never forget how much in love he was with his new baby. I was in awe to watch.

He says he loves being in a home surronded by beautiful women who just adore him! Of course only one of these women is menstrual at this point, dont know if he will feel the same way down the line LOL....
post #18 of 27
* Stability
*A meaning
*Title of Momma
*Yoga partner
*Back up singer
*Toys, toys and more toys
*Angry garbage man from picking up our bag of poo diapers
post #19 of 27

-someone that wants to be my buddy all day long (granted he's just 2 1/2 and I'm sure he'll outgrow it)

-a chance to focus on work I wanted to do, not just something I have to do to earn a paycheck such as:
-learning to do everything from scratch
-homesteading-gardening, animal husbandry, etc
-started a soapmaking/body/home care business
-and most of all learn the skills needed to shift our life in the direction we really want....no more "what if's" this is the only life we have, might as well be what we want and my being home helps with this.

-makes me closer to my mother and mother-in-law now because we have common interests and my MIL was a stay at home mom there so we have a connection we wouldn't otherwise have had

-great respect from DH for all the work I do...he says he couldn't be a SAHP and he knows it and loves that I do

-and not to mention a character of a miniature human that I made with DH, who's now at the age to give hugs, great kisses and say he loves me too


-kind of lonely since we have few friends and no one else with kids nearby that are DS's age

-In a way I miss the validation I received from work because I was great at it, it's new to have to always give myself a pat on the back and have things go unrecognized but on the flip side I am my own boss and that is a great thing too

-the hardest part has been having to work around a baby and now toddler to do the things I want or need to do...I've always been kind of a loner and liked a fair bit of time to myself so that was an adjustment but again, a worthwhile tradeoff in my opinion
post #20 of 27
Fun thread!

Things I've gained: WAY more than I have lost!

LIVING MY PRIORITIES - I feel that I am finally "out" about being focused on family stuff, and not on work stuff. Now I don't have to fake caring about stuff I truly didn't care about...esp all the meetings I had to go to at work! I have a part time job (my kids are school age) now, but all parties involved know my kids/family come first with me, and that has been liberating...

TIME - more time with my kids, time to hang at home, more time to do things I want to do and not things I have to do for my job.

CALMER LIFESTYLE - not so much running around trying to get everyone ready and myself off to work in the morning (I had a long commute when I worked, and that made it worse). The ability to slow down, cook more, not feel so stressed about tasks at work, etc.

LEARNING NEW SKILLS - I have definitely learned lots of cooking tips, organizing stuff, and just lots of new "domestic" info since I have been away from my job. It's been fun. It's a different part of myself that I have had more time to develop.

Not-so-good things:

My (full time, very good) paycheck! Yes, I miss that. I work part time during the year while my kids are in school, but it doesn't approach my old paycheck. I'm really happy with having more time and it's a fair trade off. Still ...the money was important, and I do miss it.

Most people we know still live a very busy life, so I have been called upon quite a bit to help out with picking up kids, etc. Sometimes that has been a problem for me, being home when others work. I've had to find a balance between helping out (which I am happy to do) and feeling somewhat used.

Being asked what I do all day...better now since I have part time employment. When I was first at home, people seemed to ask me that a lot. No one ever asked me that when I was employed full time.

For me, overall, it's been a big win being home. I hope I can continue to (mostly) be a sahm. I think it's been great for our family.
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