remind me again why I don't want to circ - Page 3

[fruitful womb]

Please protect him.

I didn't know what you know, but I did have the instincts screaming at me - even during my drugged up state of mind after giving birth. Although, before he was born, in the early stages of labor - I did say I didn't want him circumcised. I guess they didn't like that answer because they sided with the dad who wanted him circumcised. NO ONE EXPLAINED ANY OF IT. Dh now understands the horrors of this practice and now regrets it terribly too.

That said, if I knew what you know - I'd be in a miserable wreck. Worse than I am now.

I regret not doing something to protect my baby from this cruel practice. Every SINGLE D A Y!!!!!!!!

Its been eight years. The pain is STILL unbearable. I knew the instant they showed me his raw bleeding penis, "OMG, WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO??? HIS PENIS IS GONE!!!!!" I said those very words. Know what the nurse said? "Oh, thats normal he'll be fine." It was a BIG FAT LIE!

"Regret is Motherhoods poison." Who said that?

Its so true though.

I've since had two other sons and let me tell you: SAVING THEM, protecting them really brought out the mother bear in me. My instincts were in over drive and ever since then I've felt liberated like - I (yes me!) DID SOMETHING INCREDIBLY POWERFUL!!!

I'll never forgive myself for what happened to my first son.

[dinahx]

Because Foreskins are AMAZING and all the hottest women prefer them! My friends and I consider 'large and uncut' to be the Holy Grail! And almost as elusive. If your son somehow winds up with a woman who doesn't feel this way, well he will always have the option of prooving his love by undergoing painful surgery.

[Night_Nurse]

Just look into his trusting, innocent eyes after he is born. Ask him if he wants to be sent out to be circumcised. Listen with your heart and you'll hear the answer.


If your husband needs a bit of swaying, maybe these links will help:

http://www.homiegfunk.com/RIC2.htm

http://www.noharmm.org/appeal.htm

http://www.noharmm.org/raising.htm

[tallulahma]

because i have watched one.

in nursing school and it was SOOOOO AWFUL I left sobbinh and the doc said "that went so well why are you so upset?"

:vomit:

even as non natural as i was then at 20... ( i thought extended bf was gross, wanted c/s, etc)

i vowed that day that i would NEVER do it!

it is sickening to watch someone cut off part of a baby while the baby screams and turns purple and screams and screams......

so not your body, not your choice.

my dh is still pissed as hell his is gone.

[DreamsInDigital]

I am one of those many posters in the "regrets" thread. I was 17 when my oldest son was born, easily swayed by the opinions of those around me. My mother, an RN for 20 years, my doctor who profited from the procedure, the nurses in the hospital, all told me it was the right thing to do. And so, at barely 24 hours old, I handed my baby off to a stranger and waited for them to bring him back to me. He came back asleep, and I thought "Oh, see that wasn't so bad." And then I had to change his diaper and I saw this horrific open wound on his tiny little penis. While I was changing him and tending his wound, he startled in pain and kicked himself right on that open wound. He cried inconsolably for hours, refused to nurse for almost an entire day and didn't sleep for almost 36 hours.

His penis was buried and so he suffered adhesions that his pediatrician ripped open repeatedly without any pain medication, our nursing relationship went rapidly downhill and by the time he was 4 months old, I could no longer convince him to nurse at all. Part of that was my own ignorance and lack of support people in my life, but I've always asked myself, "What if...?"

My son is 9 years old now, and I have learned a lot over these years. I have never forgiven myself for not stopping it, and I will probably carry this regret to my grave.

[hakunangovi]

Melissa, you have recieved a ton of input as to why it is your duty to protect your son. One last thing - ask your DH what he will say when your son confronts him and asks why half his penis is missing. Please don't kid yourself that he won't find out - The circumcised penis will be the minority and all those kids will have access to all the information on circumcision. My guess is that they will be really pissed at their parents.

[mom2keira]

I love you all- thank you so much for your information, concern and passion! I should have DH come and read these too! Yes...deep down I know he will NOT be circumcised, I just hurt too for my DH and going against his wishes- but like some of you said- once it's gone it's gone- so really if two parents disagree then NOT doing it is the compromise. I remember when I first saw the circ video (and decided against it) I knew NOTHING about what the procedure actually was and was in TEARS the first 5 sec of the video. DH watched it and STILL didn't think there was anything wrong with it...but he's sort of a sheep that way (aka...follower, conformist)

Anyway- thank you all for such informative and heartfelt responses! I WILL protect my sweet little boy from this horrid procedure!



"Just look into his trusting, innocent eyes after he is born. Ask him if he wants to be sent out to be circumcised. Listen with your heart and you'll hear the answer."

[dinahx]

Please be careful . . . I know a few moms whose DHs had it done w/o their name on the consent form. Probably your DH wouldn't do that? But you can never be too careful. Not all doctors will insist on the mother's signature . . .

[vegiemum]

would you lop off his ear lobes if it was in-fashion too? Because circ'ing is a cosmetic procedure. that's it. end of storey

[Arwyn]

Originally Posted by vegiemum

would you lop off his ear lobes if it was in-fashion too? Because circ'ing is a cosmetic procedure. that's it. end of storey

Sort of off topic, but I hate that argument. It is not JUST a cosmetic procedure like chopping off the outer ear. It is the damage and removal of a very important body part, without which a vital organ cannot function appropriately. It is rather more akin to removal of the eyelids, without which the eyes might technically still function (that is, transmit vision to the brain), but not in the way they were supposed to, and not without pain or the need for lubrication. Calling it "just cosmetic" ignores the very real damage of the procedure; if it is "just cosmetic", then it doesn't really matter, right? If one prefers the look of the damaged penis, then since it's "just cosmetic", might as well go for it. But this isn't cosmetic; it's real, permanent damage to a functional, important piece of anatomy.

[A&A]

Originally Posted by Arwyn

Sort of off topic, but I hate that argument. It is not JUST a cosmetic procedure like chopping off the outer ear. It is the damage and removal of a very important body part, without which a vital organ cannot function appropriately. It is rather more akin to removal of the eyelids, without which the eyes might technically still function (that is, transmit vision to the brain), but not in the way they were supposed to, and not without pain or the need for lubrication. Calling it "just cosmetic" ignores the very real damage of the procedure; if it is "just cosmetic", then it doesn't really matter, right? If one prefers the look of the damaged penis, then since it's "just cosmetic", might as well go for it. But this isn't cosmetic; it's real, permanent damage to a functional, important piece of anatomy.

outer ears help with hearing (they "trap" the sound), so that isn't just cosmetic, either.

[A&A]

Originally Posted by mom2keira

I love you all- thank you so much for your information, concern and passion!
Anyway- thank you all for such informative and heartfelt responses! I WILL protect my sweet little boy from this horrid procedure!

:::

[neostudded]

I AM IN TEARS RIGHT NOW READING THIS THREAD!!
To ANY parent who has circed their babies.

WOW, what a bunch of truely beautiful people, helping to protect a new born baby boy from such horror.I am blessed to have come across this thread.

My heart breaks When I think about the horror of what is happening to perfect beautiful little helpless defenceless innocent babies

[amandaleigh37]

Oh mama.. please listen to your instinct.

I ignored mine, and now it's the biggest regret of my life. You can't take it back once it's done.

[Blu Razzberri]

Originally Posted by mom2keira

... he will NOT be circumcised...

Good for you mama. Your son will be better off for it in SO many ways. Your DH won't find it so bad after a little while, and he may even thank you for it in the end.

[A&A]

Originally Posted by neostudded

I AM IN TEARS RIGHT NOW READING THIS THREAD!!
To ANY parent who has circed their babies.

WOW, what a bunch of truely beautiful people, helping to protect a new born baby boy from such horror.I am blessed to have come across this thread.

My heart breaks When I think about the horror of what is happening to perfect beautiful little helpless defenceless innocent babies

And how cool that you've found Mothering.com at age 18!

[rik8144]

Ummmm...many times they do NOT use anesthesia....just strap em down and hack away!

[eepster]

This article might help you understand why your DH is having a hard time facing this issue rationally.

[edensmomma]

Originally Posted by mjg013

Because you're taking away a useful and functional part of your child's anatomy without any good reason. You are allowing elective cosmetic surgery on a human being without their consent. There are risks involved with the procedure and the trauma itself can cause delayed bonding and problems with breastfeeding. Because it is not your body but your son's and he should be the one to decide whether he wants cosmetic surgery not you or your dh. Because you will be depriving him of major nerve endings by circumcising without adding any benefits from the procedure. And lastly, because it's a routine procedure that needs to be stopped and that won't happen until we as parents start standing up for the rights of our newborn children.

I totally agree!

[Blu Razzberri]

Originally Posted by mom2keira

...I just hurt too for my DH and going against his wishes...

I just came across a link posted on another thread about this very thing. I haven't read the article yet, but it was recommended by another member, so I'm sure it's a great article. Here you go.