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Offensive sign at cafe  

post #1 of 40
8/1/08 at 3:50pm
Thread Starter 
I just saw a sign outside Aloha Outpost Internet Cafe in Pahoa (Big Island of Hawaii) stating:

"Nursing Mothers (underlined twice)...we do respect your right to nurse your baby, however if it does become necessary for you to do so while inside we ask you to show respect for our other patrons and be discreet."

I am just so shocked and angry. I have never seen anything so blatent here in Hawaii...I am still trying to wrap my head around it.
post #2 of 40
8/1/08 at 3:53pm
Wow.... I have never seen such a thing. What are the rules in Hawaii?
post #3 of 40
8/1/08 at 3:57pm
Thread Starter 
I am not even sure what the rules are here. I have never had any issues and have been bfing my son for almost 8 months now. That is why I was so shocked. I guess it is time for me to really learn what my rights are.
post #4 of 40
8/1/08 at 4:17pm
Wow, I would be livid.

Here in Florida, showing a breast in the act of breastfeeding is specifically exempted from public nudity laws. Meaning that an establishment really can't ask you to be discreet, because you have the right to show your breast, including nipple, when you're breastfeeding.

But I just googled Hawaii, and it looks like that's not the case there. You have the right to breastfeed in public, but nothing is said about showing your breast. So it looks like that cafe is following the letter of the law while undermining the intent. It makes me wonder if they've been called out in the past for being negative about breastfeeding in their establishment and this was their response.

I would definitely talk to them about it and maybe get a bunch of friends together to demand that they remove the sign...
post #5 of 40
8/1/08 at 4:17pm
Oh, heck. Why didn't they just write a sign that says: "dear nursing mamas: we are in dire need of a smack-down, so please hold your nurse-in outside our cafe as soon as possible"

Seriously, if I were you I'd gather up my local LLL chapter and have the next meeting right there.

:::::n ak:
post #6 of 40
8/1/08 at 4:20pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by meganmarie View Post
Oh, heck. Why didn't they just write a sign that says: "dear nursing mamas: we are in dire need of a smack-down, so please hold your nurse-in outside our cafe as soon as possible"
thats what I was thinking.

I am sure that there was a huge stink there where some mwhaah got all testy about a nursing mama. I feel bad that the cafe feels like they have to warn women to be discrete on a sign..

* a mwhaah is an expletive deleted.
post #7 of 40
8/1/08 at 4:40pm
Quote:
Hawaii Rev. Stat. § 489.21 and 489-22 provides that it is a discriminatory practice to deny, or attempt to deny, the full and equal enjoyment of the goods, services, facilities, priviledge, advantages, and accommodations of a place of public accommodations to a woman because she is breast feeding a child.
:
post #8 of 40
8/1/08 at 4:57pm
: It might as well read, "Nursing mothers, we respect your right, but please don't do it in our establishment."
post #9 of 40
8/1/08 at 5:01pm
post #10 of 40
8/1/08 at 5:09pm
thats terrible. i can't imagine being anyplace with a sign like that.

a nurse in does seem very fitting.
post #11 of 40
8/1/08 at 5:11pm
In Pahoa? Thats C.R.A.Z.Y.

It's like begging for a news story, nurse in, etc.
post #12 of 40
8/1/08 at 5:18pm
I don't get why they need the sign... maybe one of their patrons was offended by someone NOT being discreet?


I generally nurse wherever I am. In public I try not to have it be distracting to other people... that usually lines up with trying not to let ds be distracted BY other people, lol. Our state law says you can breastfeed with discretion... I've never had a problem.

I guess I don't see what's so offensive here. It is their cafe. They're the ones that will lose money if customers are offended, or if a bunch of nursing mom's go in and purposefully offend other customers. I wouldn't have a problem nursing there, and I would be offended if they asked me to leave, but the sign on it's own is no big deal to me.

If you don't like it, take your money elsewhere, and write them a letter saying why. I think that is a more polite, respectful, and effective way to get through to a business owner.
post #13 of 40
8/1/08 at 5:42pm
Wow! I'd probably just nurse as normal. I might be tempted to bare a bit more though...
post #14 of 40
8/1/08 at 5:48pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by meganmarie View Post
Oh, heck. Why didn't they just write a sign that says: "dear nursing mamas: we are in dire need of a smack-down, so please hold your nurse-in outside our cafe as soon as possible"

post #15 of 40
8/1/08 at 5:56pm



That is disappointing. I heard Hawaii is pretty NIP friendly.
post #16 of 40
8/1/08 at 5:56pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gnatty View Post
I don't get why they need the sign... maybe one of their patrons was offended by someone NOT being discreet?


I generally nurse wherever I am. In public I try not to have it be distracting to other people... that usually lines up with trying not to let ds be distracted BY other people, lol. Our state law says you can breastfeed with discretion... I've never had a problem.

I guess I don't see what's so offensive here. It is their cafe. They're the ones that will lose money if customers are offended, or if a bunch of nursing mom's go in and purposefully offend other customers. I wouldn't have a problem nursing there, and I would be offended if they asked me to leave, but the sign on it's own is no big deal to me.

If you don't like it, take your money elsewhere, and write them a letter saying why. I think that is a more polite, respectful, and effective way to get through to a business owner.
While I can see where you're coming from to a certain extent, I'm reminded of a restaurant where I grew up: some customers were "disgusted" while watching a group of mentally disabled patrons eat. The customers asked management to ask them to leave and management did just that. This is so obviously wrong and offensive; we're just culturally squeamish about breasts because they're sexualized.

Restaurants are public establishments. They have to serve the public indiscriminately within the law (private establishments, obviously, have their own sets of rules), regardless of the public's level of comfort with others or others' behaviors.

I'm "offended" and "disgusted" by people who wear lots of perfume. I'm grossed out by lipstick smears on drinking glasses. I think big, fat, hairy men should be required to wear shirts when they're outside. ALL of these things are my hang-up, my problem.

So, yes, I do think the sign is offensive and, well, morally wrong. I think OP should complain to the restaurant/nurse there/hold LLL meetings there/whatever to encourage our society to understand that being offended by something is sometimes a thing that you just have to get over.

Sorry, baby crawling all over me. HOpe this makes sense.
post #17 of 40
8/1/08 at 6:35pm
Thread Starter 
I actually am pretty discreet when NIP (by my own choice, not to please anyone else), but I guess I was just really surprised because I have never seen a sign like that. Also, in Pahoa, as someone else mentioned, it is really out of place. Also, I would like to think that if I forget my nursing cover (which I have done on occasion) that I can still feed my son. I guess I just needed to share. I emailed a photo of the sign to my bfing group (we don't have a LLL, but we have a group called Honeysuckle...similar thing). I would like to at least mentioning to the manager that this is not an appropriate sign. We will see what happens...
post #18 of 40
8/1/08 at 7:06pm
Wow! This is certainly an example of word getting around...

I live in GA and happened to see this post. My dad and his partner live in Pahoa. I just called dad and he does know the owners of this cafe. Not that dad is some superhero lactivist, but maybe he can find out what the deal is. I suggested a "Breastfeeding Welcome" sign replace their current one. Seriously, this is bad publicity across the freaking country.

When I visited HI a few years ago, I attended a LLL meeting in Hilo. Perhaps those ladies would like to have coffee in Pahoa soon...
post #19 of 40
8/1/08 at 7:34pm
oooohhhh.... sounds like a wonderful place to hold a nurse in. I would love to go to Hawaii...
post #20 of 40
8/1/08 at 7:52pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by boadhagh View Post
While I can see where you're coming from to a certain extent, I'm reminded of a restaurant where I grew up: some customers were "disgusted" while watching a group of mentally disabled patrons eat. The customers asked management to ask them to leave and management did just that. This is so obviously wrong and offensive; we're just culturally squeamish about breasts because they're sexualized.

Restaurants are public establishments. They have to serve the public indiscriminately within the law (private establishments, obviously, have their own sets of rules), regardless of the public's level of comfort with others or others' behaviors.

I'm "offended" and "disgusted" by people who wear lots of perfume. I'm grossed out by lipstick smears on drinking glasses. I think big, fat, hairy men should be required to wear shirts when they're outside. ALL of these things are my hang-up, my problem.

So, yes, I do think the sign is offensive and, well, morally wrong. I think OP should complain to the restaurant/nurse there/hold LLL meetings there/whatever to encourage our society to understand that being offended by something is sometimes a thing that you just have to get over.

Sorry, baby crawling all over me. HOpe this makes sense.



yep!! so well said.
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