How did you decide on a Homebirth? - Page 2

[robynlyn80]

i was sort of like you. i had a hb for my first birth, but i wasn't super passionate about the actual birth part. i REALLY wanted to be cared for by a midwife, and there are actually no hospitals in my large and progressive city that give privileges to ANY midwives. so if i wanted a midwife, i had to have an out of hospital birth. i ruled out the birth center b/c they had nothing that i wouldn't have at my house with a midwife.

i'm also not super crunchy. at all.

but i had a great great great home birth and now i AM super passionate about it i needed to be cared for by a midwife and thank goodness i did.

so i guess my point is i think your reasons and motives are just fine. and once you actually have a homebirth you'll realize how totally amazing it is, but its hard to know that if you've never done it before!

[My*Scorpio]

I am planning a HB because I want the privacy and security of being in my own home. When my son was born, a dozen strangers shuffled into the room as I pushed him out. I was asked over and over if I wanted him circumcised (I didn't). Staff was coming in my room after the birth at all hours of the day & night. So, this isn't something I'm doing to prove anything to anyone. It's about me being comfortable and in control.

[thefragile7393]

I'm not going to compare "crunchy" credentials, because I fall short in many areas that wish I didn't.....but I definitely don't fit in the mainstream.

We had a lovely birth center birth for ds, and it was everything I wanted. I didn't even think about HB because I assumed it was un-affordable.

This time, the birth center has changed backing docs and it is literally, (not joking) almost impossible to birth there. All the midwives (except 1) that were there when ds was born have left because of it. When I was told at one visit that I would be automatically risked out if I tested positive for GD and there is NO flexibility with how the test is done, I was out of there. Once I heard that at 41 weeks there's automatic inducement, I was out of there. I didn't need the extra stress on me...and beleive me I was and still am in a mental pressure cooker, didn't need anything else on me.

I don't like hospitals. I don't trust them. I've worked in them, I've seen how they and many of their doctors work.

We are having an HB only because of the kindness of our MW, who will bill our insurance like a regular doc's office after the baby is born, instead of getting the money up front. She is taking a risk in doing this of course. She genuinely loves and believes in what she is doing, she dosn't make a lot of money off a birth...she lives simply.... and that's something I've never encountered in my personal experiences with the birth center mw's and docs I've worked with.

At home it's on my terms. We have great communication and I feel listened to and cared about. My home is ugly and a dump (IMO) but I feel more comfortable and happy there then I would elsewhere.

My friend is who inspired me to strive for this. If you met her you'd laugh at the thought of her having a hb with her 2nd. She drives a monster SUV, dresses very stylishly and in name brands, always has her makeup on and her hair in place, believes in alternative medicine and healthy eating (and organic) but that's about it. And yet, she homebirthed because of the experience with her daughter. So no, you don't need "credentials" or whatever, to HBAC or VBAC. You need to know what you and your baby need and go from there.

[annanicole]

I'm right there with you. I am half hippie half mainstream :-)

I always knew there was no way I was going to have my baby in a hospital after seeing what happened to my sister and my sister in law I was like peace out ob's. But I didn't really know how I wanted to birth my baby. I did some searching and found an awesome set of midwives. I was actually in the hospital 5 times with my last pregnancy with my wonderful midwives there with me. I ended up having a beautiful birth at their stand alone birthing center.

This baby I'm having at home. I have the same anxieties you have and then some other ones, but I prayed about it and I feel this is a very good option for me.

But I also wanted to add, that I don't think it's where you birth that is as important as who you birth with.

If you trust and love your midwife group that delivers at the hospital it will be a totally different experience for you then the last birth, does that make sense.

When I was in the hospital in preterm labor at 35 weeks they thought I was going to go that night, my midwives kicked all the nurses out and it was just them my husband and I. I never really felt like I was in the hospital.

Good luck with your decision.

[chantald]

My first birth was a mess too.. induction, interventions, c/section.. I vowed it would be different with my second.. I switched to an OB/MW practice that used a hospital attached birth center..
In the end, I did feel supported for my desire to have a vbac.. but felt very constrained by "hospital policy" even in the birth center.. and my vbac untlimately failed for reasons that at the time, I felt were not under my control..BUT my birth experience was not the mess that #1's had been.
I had thought about a homebirth and dismissed it right away.. I wasn't "Crunchy".. I didnt' cloth diaper, eat organic, wear crocs (lol!!) I wasn't interested in "nesting" or finding my inner self.. I just wanted a vaginal birth..
With #3.. I started off in the same practice as #2.. submitted to all the routines, the tests, didn't say "boo" when my third c/s was discussed.. but deep down.. it didn't feel right..
My head had accepted that I had no choice.. to birth with this practice was to have an operation.. there wasn't another option offered.. I started planning on my third surgical birth but I kept coming back to a few key things..
I was more scared to GO to the hospital than to "accidentally" stay at home too long.. I was more scared of getting an epidural when I wasn't distracted by terrible labor pains than to give birth with no access to any pain medication.. and I was terrified that this surgery would leave me infertile.. No idea why I felt this way..
Then.. I had a dream.. and in my dream I saw my birth.. at home.. from start to finish.. I saw everything as clearly as if I were watching it on TV..and I met my son.. and I woke up with such a profound sense of peace that I just knew what I had to do. I called and terminated my OB care that very day.. and I didn't even have a homebirth MW who had agreed to take me on at that point.. I thought I might know of someone.. but I hadn't spoken to them yet..
But she did take me on as a client.. and I did have my homebirth.. and it was just as I dreamt it..and my DS was just as I had seen him in my dream..

many hugs to you

[lovetheheights]

Love this thread. I have always known I didn't want a hospital birth, since I was probably 14...but I went with the safe/middleground birthing center as my goal. In NY you cannot have a water birth in a birthing center (though they might let you stay in the water and it just "happens" I am not looking for that kind of wink about water birth- I'd feel like I was doing something wrong) and so I quickly realized that if I was to have the water birth I had hoped for, it had to be at home.

And now it has less to do with that than just wanting all the things you see written here- control, privacy, food if I want it...etc.

Good luck with your decision.

[HippieWannaBe]

For me the seed was planted in my head about 4-years ago after getting to the hospital after my BIL's wife gave birth. I was so sad to see the separation of mother and child. She had a section, her second, and the nurse in the nursery was bathing, feeding glucose water and just basically "man-handling this tiny newborn. My husband and I were both affected by what we saw that day. I knew that I didn't want that. I wanted to do all those things on my terms. Then I learned about how high the c-section rates are at hospitals, and all the other interventions and what they produce. I then decided to have an out of hospital birth at a birthing center, but my midwife also did homebirth. So I thought, "If I'm just as far from a hospital at home as the birthing center is, what's the difference?" So after about 3 months or so, we decided to have our baby at home.

Best choice I EVER made!