Being a lactivist by NIP

[Khourtniey]

I NIP (and PIP) but my sister brought up something last night. I was nursing my dd in a sling as we were walking through Kroger. She needed something to wipe my ds2 face with so she grabbed the sling tail and started to use it exposing my complete breast (I was using the tail to cover up because I had pulled my breast out on top of my neckline instead of pulling my shirt up).. Anyway she had no clue I was nursing until she did that.... so how is it possible to be a NIP lactivist when noobody knows you are NIP I mean if my sister who is not even 3 feet away cant tell then how can others?

[frontierpsych]

hmm, not sure, but it does further support the point I often make that most people see NIP more than they think they do and don't even notice. For some reason people seem to be of the notion that unless you hide under a tent that everyone can see your breasts and will be horrifically offended.

[guest^]

Hmmm.. I see what you are saying,but to me,being a lactivist,means bfing whereever/whenever you are-as is best for your baby/DC.

I could never get the nursing the babe in a sling thing down!

[Khourtniey]

Originally Posted by mamapoppins

Hmmm.. I see what you are saying,but to me,being a lactivist,means bfing whereever/whenever you are-as is best for your baby/DC.

I could never get the nursing the babe in a sling thing down!

Well this is my first that has actually latched. Ive had to EP for my others so Im still a newbie at the nursing in a sling, but its getting better with practice. I cant position her right though so I just kind of loosen the sling and cradle her in my arm just in case she were to fall out (I doubt it but cant be too careful). I think as she gets bigger it might easier.

[guest^]

Originally Posted by Khourtniey

Well this is my first that has actually latched. Ive had to EP for my others so Im still a newbie at the nursing in a sling, but its getting better with practice. I cant position her right though so I just kind of loosen the sling and cradle her in my arm just in case she were to fall out (I doubt it but cant be too careful). I think as she gets bigger it might easier.

Oh goodness! I meant my eyeroll at myself-as in I am such a clutz,I couldn't get the hang of it. Well I did get the hang of it, but not till my babes were DC,and able to choose whether or not they wanted to nurse in the sling.

3 babes???? You rock!!!! What blessed babes!!

[mrsfatty]

I don't think it's really the point that people see you NIP...

[velcromom]

It's not THE point, but it certainly is A point.

Making the act of breastfeeding invisible, inadvertantly or not, is just a continuation of the status quo: breastfeeding should be hidden. I know, and YOU know, we don't mean to imply that we agree with that message. But from the outside, invisibly breastfeeding does nothing to challenge the status quo.

I don't think it's a requirement of lactivism that you "show" that you are nursing. Not at all, I fully believe a mom should nurse at her and her child's comfort level (and hope that by using resources like Mothering, and www.007b.com, and my site, they can leave the status quo behind).

At the same time, I think if it is within your comfort zone to buck the status quo visibly, even just a little, do it. When the sight of a nursing mother becomes commonplace once again, then the ridiculous taboos will begin to fade away.

[Khourtniey]

Originally Posted by mamapoppins

Oh goodness! I meant my eyeroll at myself-as in I am such a clutz,I couldn't get the hang of it. Well I did get the hang of it, but not till my babes were DC,and able to choose whether or not they wanted to nurse in the sling.

3 babes???? You rock!!!! What blessed babes!!

Oh I knew what you meant.. I was just rambling.

Originally Posted by mrsfatty

I don't think it's really the point that people see you NIP...

No.. Its not the point as somebody mentioned.. But how are people going to feel comfortable NIP if they dont see it.. If it is always hidden and something to be ashamed of then why would people want to do it..Im not saying go out and flash your entire breast to the world and announce that you are going to NIP but to work hard to cover it up shouldnt be the thing to do. I think people should know you are breastfeeding without having to look, but also without the mother having to really announce it.

So long point made short.. Its not the fact that people SEE you NIP.. its the fact that people know its OK to NIP and not hide.

[Paigekitten]

I pumped for three months before my DD would latch, so major kudos to you. I know how it can be. After pumping in public and trying to be discreet and polite there came a point when I just said "screw you all, my baby comes first" and I totally swung to the other side of the spectrum and I nurse my DD wherever and however we want to. I do not cover up and more often then not my breast is hanging out of the neckline of my shirt because tbat is the fastest and easiest way for us. I have noticed that I have three effects on people. They either ignore me, give encouragement, or behave negati ely. My view about the negative reactions "good, now they will be so thankful the other moms are more discreet they won't harass them as much" but it could be said that I am harming the cause by reinforcing the idea that NIPing has to involve a lot of skin no matter what. So I don't think it matters if people know you are nursing or not; it is all helpful. I imagine your sister is probably thinking back and wondering how many other nursing mamas she has seen and not even noticed. She might tell people and plant the seed in their heads that NIPing isn't so bad. Every thing helps!

[Lit Chick]

The only place I'm shy about NIP is at work, out in the open. I've had my DS around here a few times, and he tends to be a looky-loo and pops off a lot when people are around. So, I go to the nursing room. I nurse him every day in my car, and don't feel shy about that because it's less exposed.

But random public? no probs. I am usually discreet because I like nursing tanks under a shirt - but at the pool on Saturday I went 1/2 topless. LOL. I think some people may have been a little shocked, but the swim instructor was very supportive!

Any time I start to feel self-conscious about NIP, I remember that not only does DS have a right to milk when he wants it, but that by NIPing I am hopefully making small steps towards it being just another normal thing.

[Khourtniey]

Yeah.. I am more shy about my breasts and when I cover its for my own self.. She throws the blanket off half of the time anyway. I seem to cover more at home than out. I guess Im not afraid of the public seeing my breasts.. because chances are I wont see them again, but I cover more in front of the people I know, like my BIL

[birdie22]

I'm a pretty discreet person in all aspects of life. I would certainly prefer not to have anyone see extra skin when I'm nursing... that's just my preference. Most of the time, nobody knows I'm doing it.

I have decided to live as if the rest of the world is cool with it. I don't make any effort to prove a point, but I don't apologize either. I nurse in the way I would want everyone to nurse... exactly in the way that is easiest for me.

Lactivism comes into it, because I nurse in front of friends and family all the time. People who are around me alot see me nurse every time we get together. That's just life for a mom with a young baby. Sometimes they notice as I latch on, sometimes they probably only notice when they realize the baby's quiet! My point is that of the 20 or so adults I hang out with every week, 2 of them (not counting dh) are completely at ease with breastfeeding. None of the others have seen it done in public, over the long term, until I came along. If I can influence 18 nay-sayers (and believe me, they are), that is bound to have a ripple effect, right?

And there are going to be hundreds of strangers who see me nursing in public... if half of them notice and feel more positive toward breastfeeding, then that's a big effect for one person.

Just this morning at the mall, I saw a girl of about 10 watching me. I smiled at her and she smiled back. She was about to get her mom's attention, but her family was moving along so I think her mom never even noticed me. Who knows? That girl has now seen at least one woman breastfeeding, which is more than I could say at her age.

[SollysMom]

I don't cover up with anything special when I NIP, but I still am pretty discreet about it (I pull my shirt up to just above the nipple, only on the side he's nursing, and his head/body cover the rest... I also keep a burpcloth handy so if he pulls off I can cover myself and catch leaking milk). When people say that they're uncomfortable with women who NIP, I point out that often you can't see anything or even tell that they're breastfeeding. I think that helps our cause more than being obvious.

[VijayOwens]

I just feel like you can be a passive lactivist or an active lactivist, kwim?

I don't usually go to nurse-ins (not because I don't want to, just because I can't travel much right now for various reasons) and I don't have any breastfeeding slogans on bumper stickers on my car or t-shirts. But I don't have ANY bumper stickers, and I don't wear shirts that say things about any topic. I do nurse my child whenever and wherever I want to, and don't make any effort to either expose the fact that I'm nursing or to hide it, I just do it. (Did I just make a new bf slogan? LOL maybe a dribble of milk in the nike swoosh shape and "just boob it" or something, lol)

So you can be out there loud and proud with a sign or you can just quietly go about your business doing what you do, and not go out of your way to draw attention and also not deliberately try to make people feel uncomfortable, but just by matter-of-factly feeding your kid via your breast in public maybe you can make a difference?

-Vijay

[SollysMom]

Originally Posted by VijayOwens

...you can just quietly go about your business doing what you do, and not go out of your way to draw attention and also not deliberately try to make people feel uncomfortable, but just by matter-of-factly feeding your kid via your breast in public maybe you can make a difference?

Exactly. This is how I feel.

[Koloe]

I was nursing my newborn in a sling at Walmart as I perused the baby isles and I had a pregnant woman ask if I was nursing. She was rather impressed I was able to walk around nursing actually.

I have also nursed a almost 2-year-old in a sling and pushed a stroller with a 3-year-old at the same time and my sister was amazed I could do that. She never got the sling nursing while walking down. But now that DC #2 will be here soon, she may have to figure it out to keep up with DC #1.

[lisavark]

Originally Posted by VijayOwens

...maybe a dribble of milk in the nike swoosh shape and "just boob it"
-Vijay

That is the best ever!! I want to make a t-shirt...

OP, it's really funny you ask this, because I worry about this sometimes. Silly as it is, I worry that I'm not being a real lactivist because people can't tell I'm nursing. And I don't even use the tail of the sling to cover up, but I am now a master of nursing in the ring sling, and, well, most of the time nobody can tell! Even *I* can't see any skin when I look down at DD...she's pretty snuggled in there. Sometimes people ask if she's nursing, because it's so not obvious.

That said, today I walked around the block to get her to sleep and I was only wearing my nursing tank, so when I pulled it down to nurse her as we walked the top half of my boob was completely exposed...of course I ran into a (guy) friend. He didn't even glance twice, though. But then, he's European, so he's probably more used to than most people. Either that or he's used to *me* doing it!

[TopHat]

Originally Posted by Khourtniey

She needed something to wipe my ds2 face with so she grabbed the sling tail and started to use it exposing my complete breast (I was using the tail to cover up because I had pulled my breast out on top of my neckline instead of pulling my shirt up)

Slightly off topic, but you could use a pouch sling and not bother with a tail. Then you wouldn't have to worry about whether or not people know- because then they all know! :

[Khourtniey]

I have a pouch.. Good idea. lol Maybe I should paint a sign on my boob that says somthing like "BOOOOOOBIIIEEESS!!!!!!"