A little sad

[ellesmom]

Now I know that most second time moms do not get a shower. I don't really mind that or need anything, but I would have thought my mom would have done a little something, kwim? A little gathering, celebration of the new baby or something Oh, well. Just wanted to be sad for a minute! Thanks for listening.

[Mamja]

Aww, I'm sorry. Personally I think it's a little silly that only the first baby gets the shower. I understand that showers usually consist of tons of gift giving... but there's no reason not to have a celebration for additional babies! You could certainly have a party and not register, ask for no gifts, or even come up with some other way to mark the occasion. Like make a scrap book and have everyone bring photos, or write a message to the new baby, etc. There's plenty of ways to celebrate without spending lots of money on things.

[celesterra]

Aw, I'd be bummed, too. It's such an outpouring of love at that first shower - why shouldn't we celebrate every time? Like the pp said, it doesn't have to be all about gifts!

There are so many traditions to celebrate the baby's arrival - maybe you could do a 30-day celebration or something to bring the feeling of love and welcome to you and your family? I say if you're sad about not having one, make sure you do! party on, mama -- as my friend here says, you gotta make your own fun.

[Marcimama]

I agree. It should be about the gift/blessing of this new life. It is always a bit disheartening. Hugs! Perhaps you could go get a pedicure with a friend and go buy a new baby outfit or get some things that you need. Try to celebrate it your own way!

[~Stephanie~]

Sorry you are feeling down! I only had a shower or any kind of party/get together with my first as well.

You could throw your own meet the baby party once your LO is here.

[TaraRae82]

I think all babies deserve a shower. It doesn't have to be a "showering of gifts" event. Why not just get an ice cream cake and make it a co-ed party/event? Are you close enough to your Mom that you could run the idea by her? Maybe she just hasn't thought of it as anything other than a reason to buy gifts....

I love the idea of a meet the baby party too after you get settled after the birth! Like a housewarming but with a baby!

[lifeguard]

I've always thought it was silly & usually try to do something, even if it's a couple girlfriends going out for supper, to celebrate for my friends. Can you tell your mom or a close friend how you feel & request that they organize something for you (I hate organizing things like that for myself)?

[JeDeeLenae]

All babies deserve a Birth Day celebration. Maybe you could mention it to her or mention a welcoming party for the baby.

[Kirsten]

Originally Posted by TaraRae82

I think all babies deserve a shower. It doesn't have to be a "showering of gifts" event.

I love the idea of a meet the baby party too after you get settled after the birth! Like a housewarming but with a baby!

Originally Posted by lifeguard

Can you tell your mom or a close friend how you feel & request that they organize something for you?

I agree with TR and lg. I had baby showers for each of my three kids. I am a scrapbooker, and wanted the photos of friends and family gathered to celebrate the baby.

The showers for dd2 and dd3 were both "after the baby" showers - as I chose not to find out gender beforehand, and would have needed clothes if I'd had a boy.

Dd3's shower was a book shower. Each guest brought their favorite childhood book, so the baby had a little library of books that were her very own, instead of her sisters' hand-me-downs. We even had it at the room you can reserve at the library - so no cost and no one had to get their own house ready for company.

Do you have any family or friends that you feel comfortable asking to host something like this for you? I think it is a really fair thing to want! It isn't about the gifts; it is about celebrating the baby. At mine, people really loved being able to see and hold the baby. We did them when the babies were about a month old.

Could you hint to dp that you want one, and have him mention to a close friend or your mom if you don't want to?

[olliemi2005]

I am having a celebration for my 3rd baby. It is not a shower of gifts but a "blessing way" celebration. My friends are going to organize it for me, they want to do it but want to do what feels right for me.

I think no one knows what to do unless you speak up!

I made the guest list and told the hostess I just want to fill my freezer with casseroles, if guests could bring that in lieu of gifts

I have hosted these for several friends in the past sometimes we do a belly caste, or make a necklace of beads we each contribute, sometimes it is 3 friends or 20 families...it really is up to the mom to tell us what she wants.

I hope you get some sort of celebration, it helps to prepare you for birth and baby with that feeling of support!!!

Eve

[audsma]

I know what you mean. I think it's a generational thing. My MIL was adamant about giving me a baby shower with the first, and started talking about it before we were even out of the first trimester. This time, however, she's not even mentioned it and I'm in the third trimester.

My mom always complained when someone at work would have a baby shower for a second child and beyond. I say we should do what we want, and make our own rules, as we have for a long time now! The rules have changed quite significantly since the 1960's, 1970's, and that's okay.

[Cindy-Lou]

Originally Posted by ~Stephanie~

You could throw your own meet the baby party once your LO is here.

That's what I was going to suggest.

[Bayleesan]

I think Blessingways are great. Our whole Co-op has them for pratically every mommy. Blessingways are ususally pretty close to the end of your pregnancy, at least all the ones I have been to are. I always end up going so I can do the henna, as that seems to ofetn be my job. I need to ask someone to organize it, but I can't decide who. I just want to ask that we all come together for the ceremony, and don't do any gifts at all.

[PicnicBear]

Another thing is with people moving more often and all, they might have a whole new set of friends/family to celebrate a new baby with.

A friend from work is throwing me a shower and I'm thrilled!

[Marcimama]

I just remembered that some friends of ours had a "Come Meet" party after their baby was born, they hosted, but almost everyone ended up bringing presents on their own. The focus was on meeting the new sweet baby, and a friend helped them with food and stuff...it was great!

[Changed]

I'm not having a shower either. I had one with my first girl and first boy and that's it. I'd like to have one if my family were around just because it's nice to get together and feel everyone being excited about our new child but I'm reminding myself that this time everything for my baby is chosen with careful intention and there will not be any unwanted advice or junk to deal with.

[Mom2Adam]

Not in your DDC - but wanted to say that my group of friends plan a gathering for every baby! I'm having my 3rd (due in Jan) and we will have a celebration in late November. No gifts - just a meal for the freezer...that is much better than a gift in my opinion! LOL.

Talk to your best girl friends or mom about setting this up....doesn't have to be called a "shower"....just a celebration of life and of the mom....

:

[birthdancedoula]

I have top secret info that you will indeed have a shower. Other than that my lips are sealed!!

[janasmama]

I've been a little sad about this also...I'm having my third and I just love to celebrate the baby.

I was thinking about having a little celebration after the baby comes...around 4-6 weeks. We'll see if I actually do.

[ellesmom]

Thanks everyone! DH said we could have a birthday party for the babe when he gets here.

Ashley, you have sparked my interest......