Junk food and pop given--am I too overboard

[sbgrace]

In our church kids are given a snack every week. It's junk basically (usually with soda pop). I've got a "special" food for my boys that they think is a treat but it's not what the other kids are eating. I told the teacher to give them water. They've never said anything but I know they notice now that they're eating something different. My hubby isn't happy about this. He tells about feeling resentful and different because all the kids in kindergarten got to get chocolate milk and he had to have white milk (per his mom).

I don't want my boys to have a complex or feel resentful. On the other hand I just can't handle having them eat complete junk and soda pop every single week. I'm not extreme. Birthday parties they eat whatever, I don't worry about family get togethers and such, grandpa bought them french fries when he visited, etc. It's the every week thing that is bothering me. They're four..I think it's crazy to give four year olds soda every week.

Am I making too big a deal out of it? Is there an age where it's important to let them just do what the other kids do?

[pumpkinmom2]

i am from pennsylvania and here the state has come up with a set of standards (keystone stars) to rate preschools, they now have to serve a "healthy snack" and soda would be out of the question for schools trying to achieve these stars. so a church setting imo should hold the same sort of standards, they are in the position of teaching our youth how to make good choices and conduct themselves.

maybe if you brought it up to the church that they are not setting a healthy example and take info on the effects of a bad diet and the obesssity rate in our country, you could change the way they feel about giving the children an unhealthy choice.

maybe you could suggest that the parents take turns providing the snacks for everone, 2 families a week, one for drinks, one for snack, i bet the options that showed up by the parents would be much much better!

and if money is the problem they are already spending it so they should be able to reimburse the families if they keep their reciepts.

[donutmolly]

I am working on this with our church too! It drives me nuts -- so no, I don't think you're overboard. I have gotten them to switch to water -- before they were serving sugar-substitute punch! No way was my kid drinking that every week! I think it's worth pursuing.

Can you compromise with DH in the meantime? No pop, but whatever cookies/snacks they serve are ok? Send in 100% juice?

[Ruthla]

How large is this junky snack? Personally, I don't have a problem with my 6yo having 1 or 2 cups of soda on Saturdays after religious services, along with a slice of cake, as it's only once a week. If this was every day at school I'd feel very differently about it- but at school he's served water, juice, or milk.

[MCR]

I had to work on it with our kindergarten teacher when my oldest went to school. I really liked her but didn't appreciate her giving my child candy every day as he left school. She switched to stickers after I refused the candy a few times and she offered a sticker instead, a few moms heard and said sticker instead please, and she did away with candy.
No way I'd want my 4yo drinking a soda every week. Ick. Maybe they can switch to juice boxes or something, it's still a treat.

[grniys]

Hmmm... not totally sure what to think. Maybe every other week bring your own snack for your kids so they won't feel as different? Or would that still be too much junk for your comfort? I can see where you're coming from, but if you're expecting the church to change snacks I do think that's a bit unrealistic.

Is it a whole can of soda, or just a little bit? I guess ulitmately you'll have to decide which you think it worse: your kids potentially feeling left out or them having junk food once a week.

Personally, I'd probably let it slide if it's just a little cup of soda once a week and not a whole can or anything, but I can understand that you may feel differently.

[velochic]

I think that it's reasonable that any caretaker or any organization that is minding your child follow your dietary rules. If it was an allergy, food sensitivity... if you wanted to stay vegetarian, kosher, halal, etc. they would have to follow your guidelines. If it's important in your house (it would be in ours... dd is almost 7 and hasn't had so much as a sip of soda as we feel strongly about it), then you should pursue it. Not overboard at all - it's your prerogative as the parent to be concerned about their health.

[AnnieA]

I don't think it's overboard at all! In fact, if it were me, I would attempt to get the snack and beverage changed like some of the other posters suggested and if that didn't work, we would most likely stop attending that portion of the service or find a different church to attend. But my kids react pretty strongly to junk food and soda so maybe that's why my reaction would be so strong!

[honeybee]

I can't believe your church gives out soda for snacks to four-year-olds! Personally, I would address this with the youth director or whomever is in charge, and get the policy changed to 100% juice and something healthier. Talk to some other parents and see if they would rather have juice. Bring all the research on childhood obesity... it's not too hard to find. (I'm actually not that fond of juice, either, but would rather have them have a cup of juice as a treat once a week than soda... and juice would be an easier sell than water).

Our church does have cookies after service every week (for everyone), and I let the boys have 1 cookie. But, soda is one of my hot buttons. So far, it is our only really "forbidden" food. It is soooo addicting. I think it is THE worst food you can give a child (or anyone). Dh and I have had a really hard time kicking the soda habit, and so has my brother. My dad is a DIABETIC (has been since he was 15!), and he still drinks a Big Gulp caffeine-free diet Coke EVERY day.

[flower01]

It is not unreasonable at all to ask the nursery to provide healthier snacks. ALL the children deserve to receive healthy food. This is a great opportunity for you to educate your children and others about this important issue. Most people are just completely ignorant when it comes to nutrition. I would continue to send your own snacks for your kids until they change the regular offering.

[phathui5]

I would also recommend talking to the nursery director or whoever is in charge there and let them know that you want to see healthier snacks on Sundays and would be willing to take a turn bringing snack in.

[Kessed]

Personally - I wouldn't be concerned about 1 snack a week...

It isn't going to do any harm. You aren't serving it - so it's not setting up bad habits. It's not even in your house - so it's not like the kids will expect it from you.

It's at church. To me that's a clear enough separation that it wouldn't bother me...

Snack at preschool every day - that would bug me. Treat after church once a week - not so much.

[annethcz]

I hear you. We don't go to church anymore, but when we did, this was a huge pet peeve of mine. Before we left the church, I had several discussions with the people in charge about junk food, and I didn't get anywhere. I don't know why it's ingrained that this kind of stuff is okay for kids.

[chinaKat]

I know where you are coming from, DD 3yo does enrichment classes and camps at the YMCA and they serve snacks like rainbow colored goldfish crackers and sugary apple juice -- not even as bad as you are getting at church but still not stuff I feed my kids. They don't even tell the parents what they are giving the kids -- at least at school they post it on the board. I have to ask DD what she at ate at the Y, and it's always something I think isn't great.

I let it go b/c it's not a lot and it's not every day... but I do wish they'd serve some fruit or veggies instead of prepackaged junk. Bleah.

[lerlerler]

See, I USED to think "no big deal, once a week" when my DDs skating teacher plied her with lollipops.

Then I realized, I was OK with ONE treat a week... but now I could not give her one.. her TEACHER got the privledge...

I'm her MOM, now I had to chose, TWO treats a week or I could not give her wonderful, fun treats...

I got mad/ I WANT to be the on e to get that smile when a lolli or a treat gets given

[ErinBird]

We enjoy a playgroup at our local community center. The program gives a free snack to the kids- and everything contains HFCS (typically a juicebox and cup of applesauce). I have major issues with HFCS and my family does not eat it. I've compromised by bringing cups of just applesauce and DDs sippy cup of water along. I inquired about the quality of the food offered, but its a free program and government sponsored- there is not money for different products and everything they have is donated. Were I in a financial position to donate large volumes of healthier foods, I would.

[mama2mygirl]

I wouldn't be okay with soda.
You don't say what the snack is. I have a problem with candy. But if it was a cookie, I'd be okay.
In my dd's sunday school class--pre-school/K class--the teachers usually bring organic graham cracker animal cookies and it's a big treat for her.

[artgoddess]

How about you volunteer to bring snack for the whole group, and then you can control the amount of sugar is involved.

[sbgrace]

Thank you all for the replies (it's good to get different perspectives).

If I could afford to I'd provide snacks every week. That would be ideal. But I really can't. I'd worry also that the kids wouldn't eat what I provide if they are used to pop and junk. I mean how would they respond to apple juice when they are expecting coke?

It's usually some type of "kid" cereal (last week was sugar smacks) or something like doughnuts and pop. Since it seems like the volunteers are bringing in the snacks on their own it would be really hard for me to suggest anything different without offending multiple people.

Although the doughnuts get me (the hydrogenated fat) it's the pop at 4 that really bothers me. I just don't get it.

Sigh. This is hard for me.

[Tigerchild]

Juice is something that keeps for a long time (as long as it's unopened).

Could you keep an eye out for juice sales, buy 3 or 4 bottles on sale, and bring it in once a month? Then the volunteers only have to bring snacks.

Can you talk to the RE director about this? Perhaps they could buy juice at costco and just store it until it's open, and then keep it in the church fridge.