Are you a fun mom?

[Keeping up]

Been having a bit of a guilt trip recently ... my kiddos are excited when the nanny arrives because she is so much fun. She gets down to their level and plays heartily with them.

I spend as much time with the gang as I can (I work full time and then try to keep the house up ... somewhat - home cook meals, clean laundry but not necessarily folded, my husband works out of town every other week) . However, I don't have laugh your pants off fun with my kiddos. I love them and love spending time with them - but I am not a natural player of dolls or other silly games. I watch them, I retrieve stuff ... but I don't play with gusto.

Does this make sense? I want my kids to think I am a fun person - but sometimes I am so bogged down it just isn't possible.


My kids are simply awesome - polite, kind co-operative, good listeners, great to take out in public (OK all the items previous ... most of the time) - they are well adjusted, and know they are well loved by their parents.

but wonder if we are fun.
anyone else?

[pumpkinmom2]

i don't think i am fun.

my husband has the sense of humor and can make my son laugh, with silly things. I have a dry sense of humor and don't laugh at too much.

i am not good at pretending either.

he have fun, just not laughing fun, we play cards, do projects. those sort of things.

and it is hard to fit it in between laundry, cooking and cleaning. i only have one child so when i am doing these things he has to play by himself, so when i am free he wants all my attention, and that is not often, some of our free time has to be to eat, personal grooming ,etc.. so even after the chores there is the rest of life to deal with too!!

[FondestBianca]

First I just wanted to say, "Don't worry your pretty little head!".

I won't bother with my and my husband's play styles with the kiddo because well, she hasn't grown up yet so no telling what impact our activities together will have down the road.

However, I can share with you my experiences with my parents. My dad was the guy who would jump right into fun and games with my brother and I. It could have been pushing me on the merry go round at the park, swimming with us in the lake, building lego towers on the kitchen counter, constructing tunnels for us out of cardboard boxes, or pulling us on sleds behind his pickup for hours on end. He did all of that stuff and enjoyed it. He was also a huge workaholic (and an older dad as well) but, still found the time and energy somehow... I have no idea how really. My brother and I loved the fun and games at my dad's house. We did do a lot on our own when he was working but, it was a good balance as when he did play, he played wholeheartedly.

On the other end of the spectrum was my mom. She was always interested in our activities, watched, asked questions about our creations and toys and indulged us by listening to us go on and on about these things while she did things around the house. Aside from a couple isolated times (of which I can't really even remember) my mom didn't actually get on the floor and play with us. Heres what you'll like to hear though. My mom was and still is my go-to person (aside from my hubby of course). I very much enjoy time with my mom and also respect her very much. See, my mom was the one we could talk to, tell things to, confide in. Not that I wasn't close with my dad... it was just different with my mom. My brother feels much the same. Our mom was our rock. Maybe she didn't crawl on the floor but, she was always there, providing a safe place, lap to sit in, and ear to talk to. To add, all of my friends loved my mom as well. She talked to kids like they were intelligent people and definatly had her silly side too.

Hope this can give you some perspective and allow you to see that different relationships with kids are ok and no one can take your place as mom. Mom doesn't have to mean mean rug burn on your knees and toys stacked on your back.

[Britishmum]

I think it's fine for kids to have a different relationship with different people. My kids cry when my babysitter leaves, and hang on her legs. Then for half an hour they tell me that their life is 'boring'. Then they get over it.

Last week she let them play 'measles', and they drew red spots all over her. No wonder they love her coming! She plays horseback rides, tag, swinging games, hopscotch, etc. But she doesn't have to do anything but play when she's here. When I am with them, I have to teach them (we homeschool), do the laundry, clean the house, cook dinner, answer the phone, etc etc.

I just think it's wonderful that my kids get to interact with someone young, lively, and fun twice a week while I work. But I have no doubt that if she were looking after them 24/7, she wouldn't be playing horseback rides for hours on end!

[senmom]

Originally Posted by AnnD

Been having a bit of a guilt trip recently ... my kiddos are excited when the nanny arrives because she is so much fun. She gets down to their level and plays heartily with them.

I spend as much time with the gang as I can (I work full time and then try to keep the house up ... somewhat - home cook meals, clean laundry but not necessarily folded, my husband works out of town every other week) . However, I don't have laugh your pants off fun with my kiddos. I love them and love spending time with them - but I am not a natural player of dolls or other silly games. I watch them, I retrieve stuff ... but I don't play with gusto.

Does this make sense? I want my kids to think I am a fun person - but sometimes I am so bogged down it just isn't possible.


My kids are simply awesome - polite, kind co-operative, good listeners, great to take out in public (OK all the items previous ... most of the time) - they are well adjusted, and know they are well loved by their parents.

but wonder if we are fun.
anyone else?

Of course they are more excited to see the nanny....she is not all bogged down with working full time and all those chores!!!!! Must be nice to have nothing to do all day except play with the kids. I wonder if that is what is like to be a dad?

[Mama_Leah]

Well, my kids have told me a few times before that I am more like a friend than a mom...but I think that's because I'm short, lol. I'm almost 5'3" so not too short but some of their friends have asked them if I'm going to grow anymore. (their mom is a lot taller than me )

I play with them some, mostly I'm just goofy. I am pretty introverted around most people but feel pretty comfortable with my kids and sometimes a little silliness goes a long way with kids. I don't get down on the floor much but we do play somethings together. I think they would let you know if they were missing something. Seems more like enjoy what they get when from the nanny but at the same time they are okay with the way you are too. My kids don't expect my husband to do the same things I do just because we are different people.

Growing up my two grandmothers were complete opposites; one was the take you out to town and buy you toys and Happy Meals type and the other loved walking through the woods and pastures showing us fairy houses. We love them both dearly and never even really noticed how different they were until we were older, we just knew we enjoyed spending time with them!

[oceanbaby]

I'm fun in the sense that I will take them all sorts of places, dance around the living room with them, bake stuff, or help them with stuff they need for crazy projects. But I don't roll around on the floor and wrestle, I don't play pretend games for more than 10 seconds, I don't put on puppet shows or tell stories. I leave that to dh.

[OhDang]

I'm coming with the nanny point of view. I am a live in nanny, so I am with the kids 24/7 basically. The kids LOVE their mom to death but she is like you, she has never been the "play mate" type of parent which is fine.

The mom gets down right MAD and jealous of me sometimes when she is home and I am playing with the kids. The kids will be laughing and she will try to get their attention. So i let them go because i want them to spend time with their mom, but then they always whine that they want to play with me. It really hurts her feelings and sometimes she will give me an excuse to leave the room, which i do out of respect.
It's natural though, I am the one who's job is to play with them and take care of them. Their mom gets home and is tired, and just wants to relax and snuggle with them.
i really wouldn't stress if you are fun or not, I am sure your kids are super happy with you and that youre an awesome mom.

[Hoopin' Mama]

I don't think I'm terribly fun from my ds' point of view.

[Hoopin' Mama]

Originally Posted by oceanbaby

I'm fun in the sense that I will take them all sorts of places, dance around the living room with them, bake stuff, or help them with stuff they need for crazy projects. But I don't roll around on the floor and wrestle, I don't play pretend games for more than 10 seconds, I don't put on puppet shows or tell stories. I leave that to dh.

Yeah, that.

[BunnySlippers]

I dont get down and play with my dd AND I am a very fun mom:

We take trips, I can be silly, I am open to her suggestions of 'lets go here today" . I read to her, draw with her. We do projects together. I play catch and soccer and frisbee. Stuff like that.
The odd time I will get down on the floor and play what she is playing.
I think it means more to her the odd time I play barbies or whatever because then it is a special time that she will actually remember.

[janerose]

Originally Posted by oceanbaby

I'm fun in the sense that I will take them all sorts of places, dance around the living room with them, bake stuff, or help them with stuff they need for crazy projects. But I don't roll around on the floor and wrestle, I don't play pretend games for more than 10 seconds, I don't put on puppet shows or tell stories. I leave that to dh.

:

This is totally me. And yes, I do worry about this some.

I'd also add though that I do make an effort to get the kids (especially the almost 4 yo) to help me while I cook or do household stuff. To us those things are "chores", but kids don't necessarily see them that way. My DD loves to rinse dishes for me, or help change over & fold the laundry, or take a Swiffer & dust while I dust.

Honestly, our society today has really unrealistic expectations in this regard. While I'm sure parents in past generations played with their kids, HUGE amounts of their time were dedicated to every day tasks. And they fully expected that their kids would be involved in those everyday things from a young age & therefore learn how to do them for themselves.

We are WAY too focused on entertainment, IMHO. Don't get me wrong. Everyone needs to have fun, laugh, etc. But we shouldn't need to be entertained every second!

[maliceinwonderland]

I'm pretty fun, except for when it comes to pretending. I don't pretend. You know how little girls want you to sit down with my little ponies and stuff and make up conversations (and a lot of little girls tell you what to say). I can't do that. It makes me feel the same way that a long, awkward pause in a conversation, or holding eye contact for too long does.

I will make fart jokes, decorate cakes for no reason, let them get all kinds of dirty, read stories with weird voices etc. so I don't think I'm too terrible.

[JennTheMomma]

I'm a fun mom, but then again, its not that hard to entertain a 13 month old and I am a SAHM. I just follow his cues as to what he feels like doing and engage in that.

[tallulahma]

i'm fun.

i enjoy playing pretend, dollhouse, building blocks, drawing with dd1 quite a bit. Having dd2 has made me a bit cranky- i hoping that goes away soon.

I think the things that dd1 says while playing are amazing.

i miss it actually, as its much harder to play with a newborn.

[AbbieB]

Originally Posted by oceanbaby

I'm fun in the sense that I will take them all sorts of places, dance around the living room with them, bake stuff, or help them with stuff they need for crazy projects. But I don't roll around on the floor and wrestle, I don't play pretend games for more than 10 seconds, I don't put on puppet shows or tell stories. I leave that to dh.

This is me too. But I do roll around on the bed and tickle (wrestle) a few times a day.

I point out cool nature stuff to DD. I've helped her collect tadpoles, lizards, bugs, and other creepy crawlies. She thinks this makes me "awesome".

[kirstenb]

I am usually pretty fun on the weekends. I love to bring him to the park, chase him around the house, dance, roughhouse, get down on the floor and play games, etc. The weekends are our time to spend together.

During the week, I am more busy trying to get dinner on the table when I get home from work and all the other things that need to get done. I still make some time in the evening to just play but I am much more fun on the weekends. During the week he has lots of fun with his child care provider.

[Learning_Mum]

No, I'm not.

I have noticed that I am a completely different person when I'm child-free. I'm heaps more laid back and fun. I think it's because when I'm with DS1 I'm always "on" and I'm constantly parenting (We don't hit. Please stop throwing that. Don't. Stop. We don't.).

I'm making an effort to be more silly and fun with my son and make an effort to sit down and play with him for ten minutes when he asks. Works well because he feels he's had some attention, and I don't get bored (I'm not much into toddler games). He likes when I make silly faces, or chase him etc so I've been trying to do that.

He does tell me he likes me and that I'm his friend, so I guess I'm not doing too badly!

[Abarat]

I know I'm not fun.

I stay busy around the house with typical housework, making everything from scratch and maintaining my soaping business on my own. When DH gets home he's busy out in the garden or maintaining the homestead.

We do spend time with DS but not all day. He's just 2 1/2 and there isn't a ton to do with him. We get lots of time outside and that's when I focus on him the most since I don't have any distractions out there.

He has way more fun with his grandparents/cousins/aunts and I'm okay with that. I'm here to be his mother, not his best friend. I'm not saying I don't want to be close to him and I know that I will be, but he also has to learn the business of living and he's learned a ton in his short time just by watching and 'helping' me around the house.

I know I'm his solid base in life, especially when he gets hurt or scared and he wants Mommy and no one else....when all is said and done he still runs to me.

He seems happier with everyone else because they don't see the tantrums or get the whining, and compared to having Mom all day they're something new....plus he's more apt to act out and let his true feelings show with those he's more comfortable/secure with like Mommy and Daddy.

[kaliki_kila]

This reminds me of something that happened earlier today. (I'm a nanny). I was painting with the kids and I painted a playful dot on the 4yo's nose and then he tried to get me with his brush and then I painted a smudge on his cheek, etc. It was all very fun and we were giggling. His older sister said, "I'm gonna tell my mom you guys were doing that!" I said, "Your mom likes it that we have fun and act silly together!" But I could never in a million years see their mom doing something like that. But at the same time she has her own relationship with the kids and they have things that they do together that I don't do with the kids. I think every adult approaches a child in their own unique way and kids benefit from the variety of interactions they have with people. Oh and to the person who said it must be nice to be a nanny and just play all day long I wish!