Frustrated with Hospital Attitudes towards BF

[leafwood]

I know it's been said, but I just had to post. My close friend is 37wks along with her first child. She is delivering at a local hopsital, but not the one I used. She is planning a natural childbirth, worked with a hypnobirthing coach, and is very well read. All along she talked about BF and how I was such a big part of that since I'm one of the only people she knows who did/does BF. Her mother was unsupportive, but has come around.

So, fast forward to last week when she and her husband went to the all-day "how to be parents" course at the hospital. She told me that she was so relieved to hear the instructor say (and these are obviously her quotes) "We support BF and will give everyone a LC session. But if it's not working, we will support FF. There have been times when mom's are hysterical and in pain and a mother like that is no good for a baby so then we encourage FF and the baby will be fine."

I was so upset. Regardless of what they actually said, the fact that that's what she heard was so sad to me. I told her that I was crying and hysterical while BF in the beginning....both times. And that with my first the nurse on the floor insisted on formula and I had to tell her to leave the room while I cried all alone at 3am (well, dh was there, but he may have been crying too at that point). That if I had listened to the doctors and nurses I would have lost my chance to BF at 6wks when they told me to wean b/c of a misdiagnosed ductal yeast infection, and that the pain of that was way worse than L&D for me. I just can not stand that the medical profession, likely influenced by the formula companies, perpetuate such a lax and unsupportive approach to BF.

[BugMacGee]

Well I think it's really good that they support breastfeeding and provide LC's.

My guess is that they are appealing to everyone in one fell swoop. I mean, the can't really say the don't support FF'ing. And, from what you said, it was framed in such a way as to assume that everyone starts out BF'ing.


I don't know what to say about the hysterical moms comment. I've helped PP moms BF and rarely come across any hysterical ones (we did have a pp psych mom recently but that's anohter issue)

[phreedom]

That's pretty much the attitude at our hospital as well. Some nurses encourage formula more quickly than others. It kind of sucks because we as nurses have all this pressure on us as well to get the baby latched on and nursing NOW OR ELSE! (I'm sure this sucks doubly for the mothers) Like we can get in trouble with the doctor and our supervisors if we don't have a successful nursing documented in a certain period of time. We're supposed to be BFing friendly but then we have all these barriers that prevent that from happening. (limited LC availability, "full service nursery" Pedi's that insist the baby be brought to the nursery to them even if the kids nursing ect...)

I think at our hospital if the baby hasn't nursed in 6 hours than supplementation (either ebm or formula) must be offered.

I was taking care of a baby that had a tongue tie (it was very obvious) and just would. not. latch. I worked for about an hour at one time with this mom and the best that the baby would do was 5 minutes. (I also had 4 other BF babies to take care of) (I counted this as a nursing session) He was also very sleepy at the breast. I informed the mom of various wake up techniques (skin to skin, unwrapping the baby ect) I told her to try to wake the baby up and I would come help her. Every time I went into this mothers room to check on her, she was not trying to wake up the baby. It's like everything I had suggested went in one ear and out the other. I tried to tell her that it was really important that the baby nurse as we were going on 6 hours. I offered to help her get the baby latched again...I even asked another nurse to help (in case it was "just me") She told me just to give him formula. I asked her if she would like to pump and give EBM. She said no. I offered as much encouragement as I could. I told her that the LC would be in to help her in the morning. At this point I didn't really care to argue...if she wanted the baby to have formula then fine.

Some moms come in and really want to BF. Some really want to BF...as long as it's not too hard. I give all my BFing moms equal consideration starting out, but if I get a "meh" vibe then I don't spend too much time fussing over it if she wants the kid to have formula. I don't ever suggest it first unless absolutely necessary though, but I don't try to talk them out of it either if the mother is especially insistent.

It may sound ugly but I've only go so many hours in a shift and so many babies to take care of. My time is limited. I would rather spend my time working with a mother that is willing to put forth the effort than one who is just going through the motions to "make me happy". (and then refer to me as a "nipple nazi") to the next nurse. I just don't have the patience for it any more. And I don't beat myself up if a mother chooses formula.

I feel really badly for those mothers that really wanted to BF and had formula shoved down their throats. It does happen and it sucks. But there are also mothers who just don't want to mess with it. I've had plenty of experience with that.

[meganmarie]

Hey phreedom - you're not my sister are you? (hee-hee)
My sis is a post-partum RN at a busy city teaching hospital and could have written your post word for word I think. She is so 110% committed to helping moms bf, and she spends so much with them although she is spread thin across 7 or 8 mama-baby couplets, and exhausted working at night (when of course there are no LCs) and trying to get all her paperwork done. She also told me she sometimes feels she is more pushy about bf-ing than some moms really want her to be, and she tries to walk a fine line there. I just admire so much what you are doing, especially when you face less-than-enthusiastic reactions from other nurses on staff, and some less-than-enthusiastic mamas. Don't get discouraged. Just by being there for each mom you care for, you reduce the chances that mom will have an unsupportive first-bf experience in the hospital that undermines their efforts. You probably run some interference with the rest of the staff too (I know my sis has stopped the nurses' assistants from giving formula to ebf babies, has corrected bad advice from peds, etc.). You just have to do everything in your power - which you do - and let go of the things you can't control. Its a painful, one-person-at-a-time way to do good. But thank heavens for you doing it.

[lifeguard]

It's interesting 'cause the hospital most of my friends gave birth at definitely seem to be pro bf. I have only one friend who chose to ff & she felt "harassed" while she was in the hospital. She said that quite literally every person who entered her room questioned & lectured her on her choice not to bf. I personally don't understand her choice either - but I thought it was good the hospital is so pro bf.

[phreedom]

Our hospital is kind of stuck between being BFing friendly and old-school. And it's really annoying. Most of the nurses really seem to push for the BFing friendly policies and classes and really do work hard to help these new mamas. But we are up against all these old school doctors that grumble when something "new" (because you know...BFing is so new ) is implemented. And lots of good changes have been made thanks to the nurses, but we still have lots more to work on. And really it all boils down to kissing the doctors butts and making them happy.

And also the attitudes of people (mothers coming in the hospital, their families...) count alot as well. Truthfully I have heard more BFing mothers grumbling about us taking the formula out of their bag then BFing mothers saying nothing or thanking us. Some get down right pissed. Even after you've explained it. They seem to think it's free, it's theirs, and it's not up to us to decide what to do with their fomula. Now most of the nurses don't even bother to take it out after getting theirs butts chewed one to many times. And I can't say I blame them. Most will ask if the mother wants it and 9 times out of 10 the answer is "YES" followed by an "Are you crazy?" look.

It's really hard to be 100% commited (as a hospital) to BFing when you've got free diaper bags with formula advertising, crib cards with advertising, even bottles to pump ebm into with formula company logos. When you've got all that around, then any other stance other than a neutral one ("Whatever you want is fine by us...BFing is best...but formula is fine...if that's what you wanna do") seems silly.

In a perfect world a hospital would be free of all that stuff. It would have formula for babies that needed it. BFing would be treated as the default instead of "choice A".

I could not imagine such shameless advertising on another floor of a hospital. Could you imagine sending Grandma home with a goody bag of different samples of nutritional formulas for her new stomach tube. (only the most expensive of course) Of her tube having a big ENSURE logo on it? It's really doofy when you think about it. Come to think of it...even our adult diapers are generic medical supply brand. No Depends or any other big brand.