How do you handle the "professional educators" in your family? - Page 2

[Peppermint]

Originally Posted by rbeaufoy

I wish, wish, WISH, "someone" would calculate a statistic about how many former educators of one sort or another end up homeschooling their own kids. It would be VERY interesting to also collect statements about "why" too....

Absolutely, someone get to that now .

I am a former teacher so- I rarely get much criticism. 3 of my 4 SILs are teachers and one is supportive, the others know better than to question me. One SIL did make a comment that "I am fine with qualified people like you homeschooling, but I don't see what makes non-teachers think they are qualified". I simply murmured something about how the non-teacher HS parents I know are doing a great job, I couldn't figure out how to really get into that conversation without basically belittling her career, ykwim? It's hard for some teachers to think that a child's parent could teach them just as we'll as he/she could.

You know what I find funny? I think a BUNCH of the PS kids I know would benefit greatly from homeschooling, but- I don't go around asking their parents "Why don't you homeschool, it would be better for them...."

[eilonwy]

None of the professional teachers I've encountered have said anything negative about my decision to homeschool the kids. The closest I've gotten would be comments from my SIL about how "some people" end up with antisocial kids, or kids who don't know how to read or do basic math. I know it's possible, I've met some of those kids, but stereotypes kind of tick me off.

[Mere]

Everyone in both sides of my family (including grandparents) are retired teachers; they were all shocked when we announced that we were going to homeschool.

I kept my explanations simple and to the point, and also stressed that we would do whatever was best for dd and that we were never locked into any one schooling decision (they all of course took that to mean that we would consider enrolling dd in public school if homeschooling didn't work out, which comforted them). I also was careful to never ever ever insult public schooling, or say things like 'children don't need to be taught to read.'

Over time, their initial shock has turned into an occasional dialog as they try to understand how we go about things. Still though, they know of no other way to learn so the concept is difficult!

[pampered_mom]

I really appreciate all of the responses! Definitely some helpful suggestions!

I guess I should have a little bit clearer in my OP - I didn't mean to imply that all teachers are suspicious of homeschooling or wouldn't support it, or wouldn't do it themselves. I know that there are a many out there who will. I probably should have been clear in that I was wondering what to do with those who are teachers and don't support it - like in the case of my MIL - especially when it comes to being "qualified" and what happens when you don't choose the "approved" methodology in their eyes.

We've already had a number of run-ins with MIL over how she thinks we should be doing something and given the preview with the magnet drawing thing and the fact that she thought we should be teaching ds how to hold his baby sister using a doll she wanted to provide (before dd was born) so I can pretty much bet that we're going to encounter issues with her.

The interesting thing is whenever we talk about what's "developmentally appropriate" (like in the example I gave) she looks at us like we have three heads whereas when I talk with my sis about it (the newly graduated one with a teacher's license) she completely gets what I talking about. Go figure.

Anyway, thanks again!

[SinginMamaTo2]

My MIL is a retired teacher as well and she's ALL for it!!! NOW!
Especially when she experiences for herself how well ds is doing. They live in the UK and ds spends a month every summer with them. So she sees first hand how he learns by "doing". When she comes to visit in Sept tho she wants to work on cursive with him, because that's what 3rd graders are "supposed" to do....whatever floats your boat, I say. If ds is up for it great - if not, he'll certainly let her know
Now my SIL is another story she has 2 grown girls. One didn't even graduate high school and the other one barely did! And she constantly touts the benefits of public and even private school!!! Uh, if it's SO great, then what happened in her case! Anyway, she "suggested" the other day that if this "HS thing" doesn't work out, I should at least get ds on the waiting list for the year-round school in the next town over!!!! WHAAAAT? I have to keep telling myself - "Consider the source, consider the source." Sometimes I think I just have to bit my tongue, because no amout of talking is EVER going to bring her over to our side! Please pass the bean dip

[mjg013]

I am close friends with a lot of teachers and my aunt is a teacher. They were all thrilled when we talked about homeschooling. Of course, we aren't homeschooling at this time but it's something I'm considering for the future. They all were very supportive and enthusiastic about it. I find a lot of teachers are very disenchanted with the whole public school system in the first place and know several who teach but homeschool their own children.

[muttix2]

My SIL recently became a (substitute?) teacher. Prior to that, I ignored her opinion on home school and I'm going to continue to do so. She doesn't like it, she's made that clear. I could care less what she thinks about it and I've made that clear.

[ebethmom]

One relative teaches middle school. She used to voice her support for homeschooling, but that source of encouragement seems to have dried up. Maybe I'm just imagining a lack of support - we haven't talked hs'ing in quite awhile.

The last time the topic came up at a family gathering, her main comment was "but what about prom??" Yeah, what ABOUT prom?! I guess I can see her point of view - she married her high school sweetheart, and prom was a big event for her. But that is definitely not my point of view. I mentioned that our homeschool groups all have dances for the teens. One group even rents a riverboat for their dance.

I'm still amazed that someone who is in the trenches every day still sees school socialization as something positive. I taught private music lessons in a public school for 5 years, during school hours. That pretty much cemeted my decision to homeschool.

[Lillian J]

For whatever it's worth, when I decided to homeschool, several teachers - two from a public school and one from a private school - told me they'd do the same if they were able to quit their jobs to be home in the daytime. Another one in the private school said she'd offered to her son the possibility of homeschooling, but he was already deeply involved in the high school and sports and all, so he declined. Some of the most popular books that are directly about or supportive of homeschooling are by former teachers who experienced up close the things that made them finally give up on the system. Some of them are discussed in this other thread - DH needs "unbiased" scientific support of HSing... I think confidence is going to be your ticket to a smooth relationship on all this. And good boundaries. There's no reason why any of the extended family members should be keeping track of what your child does or doesn't know at any particular age - that's probably going to have to be discouraged along the way in the most diplomatic but positive and confident way you can muster. Just as the saying goes that "good fences make good neighbors," I think good boundaries make for the best family relationships - and not only you, but your child, deserves to be able to have boundaries too. Lillian

[OTMomma]

My mom is a public school teacher- my personal feeling has been I've needed to reassure her that I'm sure she's a great teacher, its just that not all teachers are great, at the times when I've felt she's taken our rejection of public school personally. I've also made a point to point out what dd gets that she wouldn't get at school- more time to play, less testing, more intense work on the things that interest her. And as to unschooling- I spent dd's K year feeling criticized by my mom about unschooling- she just felt I wasn't teaching or being responsible for dd's education. So when she visited a few weeks ago, I printed out some pages from www.unschooling.com and gave them to her to read. I thought she would think it was nuts, but instead she said "I remember hearing a theory like this at a teacher's convention years ago, the idea that in a good environment children are naturally drawn to learn". It seemed to really help her understand what we're doing.

So my suggestion is to educate your educators.

[JulesM]

Originally Posted by pampered_mom

I really appreciate all of the responses! Definitely some helpful suggestions!

I guess I should have a little bit clearer in my OP - I didn't mean to imply that all teachers are suspicious of homeschooling or wouldn't support it, or wouldn't do it themselves. I know that there are a many out there who will. I probably should have been clear in that I was wondering what to do with those who are teachers and don't support it - like in the case of my MIL - especially when it comes to being "qualified" and what happens when you don't choose the "approved" methodology in their eyes.

Anyway, thanks again!

We just had family in town this week, and had our first "tense moment" over homeschooling. My SIL(who is from another state) is a teacher and when the subject of HSing came up you could see her clench her teeth. So I didn't push the subject with her. Later in the week it came up again, and got the same response. I asked her what she thought and she said that when she heard we were HSing she started looking into things and couldn't find any info on CA standards and she was worried that we wouldn't have strong guidelines to help us stay on track. so later that day I found the state guidelines for her and showed them to her. I also showed her that DD is at or above in all standards. It made her feel better. While she was here, I also got a call from our ES (charter school sponsor, basically) to iron out curriculum purchases and whatnot for the beginning of the school year. I think it helped her realize that we weren't just gonna wing it, so to speak. It put her at ease, and never once did I say I was following the state guidelines, I just showed her that I knew what they were and were to find them

[MamaMonica]

My brother is a professor and is against homeschooling. As my kids get older and seem to be well-adjusted kids having fun with life, it becomes less of a hot button issue.