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Anybody so scared of another c-sec they don't think they will have another child? - Page 2

post #21 of 30
10/28/03 at 1:05am
T
Jenn-
CNM are allowed in OH - DEMs are not defined as legal or illegal.
You are correct, everyone seems fine about DEMs here as long as there is nothing called to attention, as in the case you referred to.
NE Ohio, though has a LOT of midwives, and the birth atmosphere here is changing a lot as plans for a freestanding birth center are formed, and more and more women have homebirth. We have a huge homebirth community here. (I just came from a meeting with a whole bunch of them!)

And also - from my research and experience, Jess is correct. CPD is almost never diagnosed at such an early stage of labor, and if it is, I would highly question it. Also, most OBs are not trained to asses pelvic adequacy.

Goodluck, babydoll---I was thinking about you tonight at my meeting (about birth choices; this month's topic was What Has Happened to Normal Birth?) and wishing you could have been there to recieve all the support from a lot of wise women.

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post #22 of 30
10/28/03 at 1:45pm
I wanted to add that talking to a NICU nurse is like talking to an ICU or CCU nurse, all we see is the truely BAD stuff (I am an ICU/ER nurse). It can totally skew the veiw of the person, only seeing the trama. I have for years dreaded becoming old, just for the fact that all I see is the worst of old age, not the best.

I am so sorry that you had such a tramatic birth.

I read in the most resent issue of JFL (Journal for living) about the way people treat those who have had C-Sec. How they say "OH, well at least the baby is OK" or "You should be happy, you have the baby now" and the author of the piece said that yes she was happy about the baby, but she was not happy about the birth.

I think that maybe you should go to the ICAN site and snoop around and talk to some people, and let others with simular experiences help you with your feelings. I would not rush into another birth. Even if it takes another year to really work thru this stuff.

Also I have to agree with what others have posted, once CPD is written a lot of Doc's wont disagree or "Touch it", but maybe finding a doc or midwife to actually "check you out" may make it better. It sounds to me like maybe it was the babies position and not your pelvis that was the problem. And 10 hours with a first labor isn't really that long. (usually 12-15 hours) It could have been just a potion thing and possibly being able to move around could have done something to change it (sorry, hine-sight is always 20/20)

My very best friend had to have a section about 3 years ago, do to CPD, her baby was close to 10 pounds and was actually presenting with her face instead of her head down to her chest. CPD isn't really an acurate diagnosis, it was really malpresitation (sp). Anyway she said that the doctor told her she wouldn't be delivering vaginally ever do to this CPD. Which was really not an acurate diagnosis. She isn't pregnant now, but told me she didn't think she would even try for a vaginal birth because of what her doctor said.

If in the end a c-section is what you are OK with than that is good, but you need to work thru those feelings and be "OK" with them.

Good thought your way....

H
post #23 of 30
10/28/03 at 11:41pm
I am sorry that you had such a bad birth experience. You may want to try reading the book, "Birthing from Within" by Pam England. It may help you to face your fears, and allow you to have a birth experience in which you feel more control. There are also instructors for birthing from within, that you may wish to contact. You can try a search for birthing from within (It may be birthingfromwithin.com) to find an educator near you.

Good luck.

Oliver and Carter's Mom
post #24 of 30
10/30/03 at 2:56pm
Just wanted to let you know that I don't think this fear is limited to women who've experienced a c-section. I gave birth to my daughter vaginally, with no medications or interventions . . . and the thought of giving birth again does scare me. I pushed for 6 hours, but felt supported and safe (at a birthing center with a midwife). I feel so proud and strong that I have given birth, yet it's still a scary "other world" experience nonetheless. My daughter's 2 and a half and I'm getting close to wanting to get pregnant these days, but I still feel nervous about labor. I feel like I should add how wonderful and life-affirming labor can be, because mine wasn't at all negative, it's just hard to imagine doing that again and coming out the other side. One of the wonders and mysteries of the world, I guess. I think fear is natural, c-section aside. Best to you.
post #25 of 30
10/31/03 at 4:39pm
To be honest. I wouldn't VBAC at home unless I had at least 1 under my belt. I'm vbac-ing in a birthing center ONLY because it is directly attached to a hospital and I am closer to the OR than the L&D.

I understand your fear. It took me some time to get over it too. There is a c/b support thread. I know there are many women there who feel or have felt as you do. Have you checked it out yet?

Are you sure that MWs aren't an accepted thing in IN. I've been doing research, we may be moving to IN before this babe is born, and I've been giving the names of several CNMs to contact...what are of IN are you in?
post #26 of 30
11/2/03 at 6:30pm
I have experienced a wonderful vaginal delivery and a wonderful c-section. Yes, I was very nervous about the section but now I honestly don't dread another. I will certainly try to go vbac next time (I would love to have a water birth!) but I'll be ok if I end up w/ another section. It was honestly an amazing, powerful experience! I know I am in the minority and it probably has a lot to do w/ how my section and recovery were handled by my dr's. Sorry, I'm not articulating this well...I have a nursling attached to me but just wanted to share a different view. IMO, you should plan and try for a vbac but don't freak yourself out about a poss. repeat section.
post #27 of 30
11/3/03 at 4:26am
Thread Starter 

SOme more stuff about me...

My daughter's heartrate was 89-92 about the last couple of hours I had her and dropping even farther during my very close togeter (1 minute apart) contractions. My mom is a nurse and was in there and witnessed the whole thing. She has been a nurse for about 35 years and has seen a lot of births. She does not think my baby would have made it if I had not had a c-sec. She thinks it would have been very bad for us both. I was bleeding very heavily even before i went to the hospital and it a lot a lot a LOT of pain ( I had back labor). I was not about to go home. They FINALLY gave me demerol and morphene and neither touched the pain although they made me a bit groggy. The hospital did want to send me home and I was not about to do that. I have known several woman who have lost their babies when sent home that way.
I was in so much pain at the hospital I was not about to go home - if I could not handle the pain at the hospital with drugs there was no way I could handle it at home!

Anyway my c-sec went smoothly. My girl was/is perfect and healthy. Her APghars were 9/9 - they took off for color. It is just the intense fear of knowing I have to do it again to have another baby. They thought sickens me and chills me to the bone.
post #28 of 30
11/3/03 at 11:50am
Quote:
It is just the intense fear of knowing I have to do it again to have another baby. They thought sickens me and chills me to the bone.
Babydoll, I truly hope that you find a way to honor and process your fear. It is wonderful that your daughter was/is perfect and healthy. Please don't let that negate or cause you to "sweep under the rug" the very real fear and anxiety and trepidation you are feeling. These are valid feelings that deserve your attention and care whether through counseling, bodywork, journaling, talking with women in similar situations, etc. Regardless of your birth choices for the future, please find a way to process this experience.

LisaG
post #29 of 30
11/3/03 at 3:13pm
ITA with LisaG...can you try to find an ICAN chapter? I was wary of going at first, too...I thought it had been a year, I should be "over it"...but there are women at my ICAN meeting who had their c/sec 4+ years agao, and still come to talk.

I wish you peace and happiness surrounding your future births...how ever those births happen.
post #30 of 30
11/3/03 at 6:27pm
Thread Starter 

I am moving this to c-sec support thread

I mistakenly posted here thinking it was the c-sec support thread. I checked out the Ican website but I don't think it is for me and there are not chapters in my state or even in a close enough neighboring state.

Thank you all for your help.. Good luck and healthy babies and births to all of you!
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Mothering › Mothering Discussion Forums › Pregnancy and Birth › Birth and Beyond › Anybody so scared of another c-sec they don't think they will have another child?