August Dating thread!!

[BelovedK]

: Happy August :

This is the place to discuss all things dating. I have been in 'sleep' mode when it comes to dating, no interest here, but I love keeping up with you all through this thread, so keep it coming

Maybe this month I will actually have something to post

[Still_Snarky]

well, as usual i have no real update. not sure if i should even be posting in the dating thread as now i consider myself to be partnered with a long-term mate. but you know, i like y'all so here i am.

d and i have been dating for almost 10 months. he is the primary male figure in my kids' lives and i'm incredibly happy to be a family. i can't believe how quickly things happened for us, this isn't my typical speed but hey, it felt right. his aunt asked this past weekend when we were visiting if we plan on getting married. i think we both feel it's an obvious eventuality (that is if bk will ever sign the flippin' divorce papers , though neither of us is in a hurry. d's lease is up at the end of september and he'll be officially moving in with us (though he hasn't really been home since january).

i never realized how hard it was to be in a relationship with someone when their family isn't loving and warm and supportive. i really really value how wonderful d's family is, how much they love and support him and how they've already loved and supported me.

bbl

[MsChatsAlot]

I flirted with some men on the weekend...does that count?!?!?! :

[BelovedK]

Originally Posted by MsChatsAlot

I flirted with some men on the weekend...does that count?!?!?! :

YES!!:

[JenniferH]

Well, The Young Man and I have decided to see each other exclusively, even though he's 3 hours away. I'm actually going over Th-Sat to spend some time with him.

He's so perfect for me, it's almost scary. I'm not letting this one get away if I can help it! :

I hope to get a picture of us together while I'm there. I will most certainly come back to show us off.

[Still_Snarky]

Originally Posted by MsChatsAlot

I flirted with some men on the weekend...does that count?!?!?! :

why certainly!

Originally Posted by JenniferH

I hope to get a picture of us together while I'm there. I will most certainly come back to show us off.

have funny, hurry back with pictures!

[mmace]

Like Celeste, I'm not sure if I'm supposed to post here anymore! I've been with my love for 14 months now, and haven't dated anyone else. And I have no plans to! It's hard at times because between us we have five jobs, two houses, and four kids, but we love each other more than anything and are committed to taking things day by day. My ex always called me "Mrs. Instant Gratification", so it's hard for me to wait at this point, but I am trying to enjoy and embrace each day, each moment we are together, and stop obsessing about what tomorrow/next week/next month/next year holds for us.

BUT I do have to pose the question - why is it that when you are in a committed relationship you suddenly become amazingly attractive to other people? I waited four years before I started dating this man, but in the past couple of months I have been hit on by more strangers, am being strongly pursued by a friend, and had someone I trusted/liked/respected try to kiss me a couple of days ago in the middle of a conversation about how serious things are with my boyfriend. Ay Yi YI!

[cycle]

Like Celeste and MMace I have been in a relationship for a while with my guy. I guess its about 8-9 months now. We are in love and we are a great team - its very nice to be with someone who you know has your back and is on the same page. DP and DS are getting closer and it makes me very happy that ds has a guy full time in his life - he is truly enjoying it and seems to be getting a lot out of it. I love the dynamics when the three of us are together. This kind of a relationship is not something I thought I would ever have, I just never thought I would connect like this and be able to trust someone with ds. Things are going well, we have become a little family unit and I am loving it.:

[caspian's mama]

Originally Posted by mmace

why is it that when you are in a committed relationship you suddenly become amazingly attractive to other people?

at your examples. i can't believe someone tried to kiss you AFTER you saying how great your new bf is! honestly, though, i recently told a friend that we should "sham date" eachother for a while, in hopes that the phenomenon you described will occur. mostly i came here to post that i've made a new friend and am going to the movies tonight. it's not a date but i'm still pretty psyched to be breaking out of my regular social circle.

[MsChatsAlot]

Originally Posted by mmace

BUT I do have to pose the question - why is it that when you are in a committed relationship you suddenly become amazingly attractive to other people?

Because you're putting out the vibe that you're happy and healthy and ready for a wonderful relationship. People aren't able to read from the vibe that you're already IN that relationship...so you get hit on!!!:

[Still_Snarky]

wow, go us!

[cycle]

Originally Posted by MsChatsAlot

Because you're putting out the vibe that you're happy and healthy and ready for a wonderful relationship. People aren't able to read from the vibe that you're already IN that relationship...so you get hit on!!!:

Yep. I totally agree...I also think our pheromone levels are higher and they "smell" us. :

Originally Posted by Still_Snarky

wow, go us!

:

[caspian's mama]

i wasted too much time and ga$ on a bad date last night. well, it wasn't a date per se but it *could* have been... if he hadn't blabbed about his ex 75% of the time. : even for just hanging as friends it was waaay too much a focus of the conversation. why tell me you're psyched to finally have some time apart from the family to rebuild relationships with other adults, then just whine about her the whole frickin time? ~sigh~ he's a smart, creative, NICE guy, a devoted dad, and not bad looking either. but he needs a @#$% therapist and that's NOT in my job description.

uggh. then there's the *other* guy, who i had pretty much given up on anyway. my friend told me 2 days ago that he was going to call me to ask for a ride to a mutual friend's party on sunday (after, of course, not calling/texting me at all for like 2 weeks). he left a voicemail last night (naturally while i was on the not-date) and i texted him back today with some "terms" (because c's going to be in the car too). he disagreed and i told him to find another ride. so he told me to go f* myself. SO classy.

seriously, i could beat myself up all day about why the hell i attract crazy people. but i won't because i'm just done with it. i don't care if my "standards are too high" or that makes me a "bitch" or whatever. there are SO many other things i could be doing than wasting my precious love and energy on people who just don't get it. besides, i get enough of that from dealing with c's dad!

[Bad Mama Jama]

The dating for the month is going well. I am still going out with my friend from college and that has been really casual. I have also been kind of drawn to another friend of mine that I've known since we were kids. It's a comfortable kind of situation and I also enjoy his company when we go out.

I am just happy to be single and I am happy to see that there are options out here for a sista. because it seemed so bleak for so long. Also, the nice thing is that I am comfortable going home to just my dd because I have really settled into the single life.

[lunar forest]

oh goodness, I'm so excited for/jealous of all you partnered mamas! :

I am still, for the most part, exactly where I was last time I posted. I guess that's not terribly surprising as it was only a week or so ago. But I'm very impatient. See, I'm still not exactly sure where I stand with "mr. relationships".

I saw him on Tuesday again. I think it went well. I felt good about it, but I'm so used to guys making all the moves and me being chased that this is strange uncharted territory for me. I'm worried about being to forward, or too boring and quiet. I'm falling under the latter category currently, but not in the worst of ways. We're going meeting after he get's off work on Saturday night, late.

New intelligence has reached me today (by way of friend's dh who has, yet again, run into him and talked about me) that he's all worried about being too old for me (what's 17 years difference, really?) and talking about how this may change is life and is he's ready, and if it would be weird. Friend's dh told him "you're not marrying her on saturday, it's just hanging out, man". I'm very encouraged by this. He must be into me if he's thinking this seriously about things. Right? I'm feeling confidant, though, that if I know he already likes me I'll feel much more at easy being myself than if I feel like I have to impress him to win him over.

On the other hand, mr. trouble has started texting me again. Sigh. I'm a sucker for that attention, it's positively no good. I even had a really steamy and... er... graphic sex dream about him last night. Pathetic. I need to keep my mind off of him. Though, that's easier said than done because we hang out in his bar all the time. I'm hopeful that I bored him thoroughly enough for him to leave me alone some more, however. I dunno, this is all so confusing.

[lunar forest]

and in related news, my ex tried to kiss me last week. How awkward is that? I mean, it was bad enough when he was professing his undying love to me, but at least I had some person space. It's our wedding anniversary today, he even got me a $50 giftcard to H&M. We've been separated for over a year and a half. What am I supposed to do about that!?

[caspian's mama]

buy yourself some smokin hottt outfit and wear it on saturday night.

but definitely send him an email/text/whatever and let him know that there will be no more smoochies. that privilege no longer exists, mister!

[lunar forest]

Originally Posted by caspian's mama

buy yourself some smokin hottt outfit and wear it on saturday night.

hee hee hee... that's exactly what I intend to do.

I think I made it perfectly clear that kisses will not be tolerated. He seemed pretty happy with how uncomfortable he made me, though. I think it's all a big game to him. :

[lunar forest]

oh yeah, I'm sorry you had such a crappy not-date. How disappointing. Seriously, who would think it's ok -let alone attractive- to talk about one's ex. jeebus.

[3rosebuds]

I haven't been on here for ages, as I've been trying to adjust to the whole single mom thing.

However, now that I'm dating, I find that I'm needing the support of others who are in similar situations.

I have been out five times now with a fabulous guy. I'm really into him, and he seems really into me, but he lives an hour away. It's not so far away in the great scheme of things, but it gets complicated trying to juggle both of our work schedules, my school, my kids, and a babysitter. I just don't know how you ladies manage it! School hasn't even started back for me yet, and I'm already stressed just thinking about it.

I do have a question. How do you know what level of involved-ness is appropriate between the kids and the man? So far, the guy I'm seeing has only met the kids in passing ("Guys, this is my friend N. N, these are the boys"), but we've only been dating for a few weeks.

On the opposite extreme, their father takes them along for overnight visits with his girlfriend and makes her a major part of their lives. I just can't decide what is appropriate.