I didn't vote since multiple choice wasn't an option.
I agree with a pp who said it also varies by the kid. I'd add that it can vary by family circumstance including factors such as child spacing.
For example, I *tend* to really like the stage between say, 9 months, and 2 years for example. But with ds, 9 months was a frustrating time for him because he was still struggling to learn to crawl but really wanted to get moving. It was less enjoyable for us all since it was so frustrating for him.
In any case, here would be my general responses if I was voting:
Newborns and Infants- My vote would be neither hard nor easy. I would vote, "birth to one had its moments!" It really depends on the baby though. I love babyhood! I love that sweet, snuggly, new stage and I also love that stage when they start doing everything so fast...it is AMAZING to me to witness all the changes in that first year or so. I love that! But, it can also be hard. Depending on the kid, there is sleep deprivation, etc. etc. ds had bad "silent reflux" and it took a while to get him comfortable, and then as soon as he'd get comfortable, his needs would change and he'd be in pain again. He also had some other medical issues, including asthma, that were tough for him. There was a fair share of inconsolable crying. I mean, I know there are kids who cry inconsilably more than ds did, but I couldn't characterize it as "easy" to watch him be in pain and not always be able to help him as we waited to see if this dietary change or that would help, etc. etc. That said, my overall memories of his babyhood are really great.
With dfd, she didn't come to us until six months. She was a very happy baby and from the very start of her arrival, a lot of fun, but she also had a lot of difficulting attaching due to her history, and it took a while to feel really close with her.
Toddlers- For one to two years old, I'd say it was largely "easy." The trick was that mine are eleven months apart. So ds was just seventeen months when dfd arrived, and my memories of that time are colored by the fact that it was just a lot of work to balance both kids needs and transition to having two at home, and make sure everyone was doing okay. It was GOOD work. But a lot of work. When dfd turned one, ds was just under two, and by this point, they were starting to get into each other's faces more, etc. etc. So logistically, it was a hard year in some ways, but also if I really think about it, I can't seem to recall anything in particular I didn't really like about the age in general. So I guess if I HAD to make a decision, I'd vote "pretty easy." What I can say with certainty is that this age is really highly enjoyable for me in terms of watching the lightbulbs go off in my kids heads and seeing them piece information together to form so many great connections.
Two to three is a toss up. ds has developmental delays, and his early two year old year was a lot like the one to two year phase. I enjoyed the continuation because it is a phase I really like. The second part of the two year old year got a little tougher, when ds started to experiment more with his ownership in control. That was hardest when it came to the two kids interacting. We had to be really on the ball to make sure brawls didn't break out. Both kids were really in this phase together because dfd was approaching two and didn't have the same delays. At that point, it felt absolutely like having twins. The kids were so much in the same developmental space, and that was probably the hardest thing about it because that also meant there was a lot of battle for control between the two of them (since that is part of the phase)
That said, now that ds has turned three, I am really enjoying dfd's two year old phase. We've become very close during this stage, despite this being the "age of autonomy." We also did a lot of focused work on some behavioral issues, and with a little maturation, dfd is able to follow instructions and observe safety boundaries in many more situations than she was during the period right around the time she turned two, which means I'm enjoying the freedom to give her a little more space...that makes us both feel good! And she is picking so much up, especially in terms of her ability to understand and communicate more complex ideas. That's fun to witness.
Preschool- ds just turned three this last spring, though because of his delays, it should be noted that he is three in some ways, but in other ways he is a little more "two." Right now I am really enjoying watching him learn a new level of complexity. For example, our dog died in February. He has talked about it periodically since that time, each time trying to understand what that means more and more. Just the other day, we had a much more sophisticated conversation about it, and I could tell he was taking it to another level. I mean, sure death is pretty complicated for kids at three, but there was just this very interesting shift as he started to talk about body functions that had ceased, and so forth.
He has always had a very good sense of boundaries and safety, so I've always been able to respect his autonomy. Now that he's three, even just in terms of his physical abilities, he's able to do even more, and I can see he's really enjoying that.
But these days, if you ask him to put on his shoes so you can go do something he is eager to do-- like go to the park-- he will not do it unless you sit there with him and actually walk him through each step. I don't know what this is. When he was two, he'd just put them on. Now, he doesn't want to do anything on his own or for himself, even if it means he'll get to do something he'll really enjoy. And he can barely stay focused for the smallest of tasks (could be some of his neurological stuff, but also seems very "three year old" typical to some extent).
He also constantly tells me a flat out "no" when I ask him for any help at all around the house, whether to put the three books he got out back on the shelf or to please get a bandaid from his "first aid kit" to give to dfd who I am comforting because she fell and skinned her knee. He's much more resistant to being a contributing member of the family. In addition, he's taking more joy in creating havoc just for the sake of it...things like dumping baskets of toys just to laugh me off when I try to engage with him in clean-up. And in terms of his relationship with dfd, they are very close now, but he's additionally sort of slipping back into that phase of the control battles. It's just that now it is about all the things he can do that she is just learning. They take longer for her, and he has no patience for that. He is always trying to take over and just do things for her. Of course she is in the "I do it!" phase, so this is a toxic combo.
I'm really consistently liking my one-on-one time with both kids right now, but at the moment, the two of them together can quickly go from total joy to a kind of nightmare. Like a pp said, this preschool phase does seem to be on the energy draining side for me, even though there are things I really like about it.
Other ages I can also comment on as a foster mom. Some of my kids were also long placements in our home. I really like the early-middle elementary years, say 6-8 (1st through 3rd grade). But I have to say, I have found this stage with girls to be a bit easier than with the boys. The prepuberty phase gets pretty rough for everyone, but most especially with girls. With the boys, it can start out rough but then it seems like there is this mellowing out as early adolescence sets in. Then again, the social stuff seems rough for all kids at all these ages, and I think that's one of the most difficult aspects because it is hard to witness our kids having it rough. The teen years are a mixed bag, and I really think at that age it is so suuuuper individual depending on the kid. To make a generalization though, I have noticed that girls around 16 tend to make a huge developmental leap and a lot of times it is much more fun to parent them after 16.
My son mellowed out around 10, but when he turned 12 1/2, he turned into a TEENAGER, so he's been very opositional lately (he just turned 13). My little girl hasn't mellowed out yet. She'll be 8 in September.
