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Anyone else can't stand their pet? - Page 3

post #41 of 106
Hmm...I'm honestly not trying to be belligerent when I say that this thread makes me sad. It's just that I honestly do prefer pets to people, and to hear them talked about this way makes me sad.

One of the reasons I am seriously considering not having children is that I don't want to not have the relationship I do with my pets/my future pets. I've heard that a lot, and I totally see how it can happen, and I don't want it in my life.
post #42 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by avengingophelia View Post
Hmm...I'm honestly not trying to be belligerent when I say that this thread makes me sad. It's just that I honestly do prefer pets to people, and to hear them talked about this way makes me sad.

One of the reasons I am seriously considering not having children is that I don't want to not have the relationship I do with my pets/my future pets. I've heard that a lot, and I totally see how it can happen, and I don't want it in my life.
You could take the OP's dog and my cat for us then!
post #43 of 106
And I would, did I not already have a house full of other people's discarded pets.
post #44 of 106
I love our dogs but I don't always like what they do.

Our dogs would steal any food they could reach. They are fed adequately but you wouldn't know it.
In our house-
1. All food is in upper cabinets or the refrigerator. Nothing on the counter.
2. Food is eaten at the table. Dd whined about dog stealing food from her so she doesn't get to eat anywhere else.
3. Food is not left unattended where the dog can reach.
4. Trash can has a lid.

Our cats don't really inspire love. I don't hate them and they don't really do anything bad. The problem is that I absolutely loved a cat for 16 years and it has been very hard for me to love another cat after her death. I wouldn't have chosen to have more but we were adopted by 3 strays. It is more of a mission than love.
post #45 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by onlyzombiecat View Post
I wouldn't have chosen to have more but we were adopted by 3 strays. It is more of a mission than love.
That's why I have my two cats as well. I don't enjoy them all the time, but they're well cared for and the kids love them.
post #46 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by avengingophelia View Post
I feel sad for any creature living in a family where s/he isn't loved.
If you live anywhere near Maryland, you're welcome to take my dogs and give them as much love as you think they deserve.

I can totally relate to the OP. I don't like my dogs. I take care of them, but I don't love them. I consider them useful for keeping my house safe from intruders. Otherwise, I think they're noisy, messy, and annoying.
I have a Great Dane and an English Mastiff. The Mastiff's not doing so well, so we're pretty much waiting for him to die. We're trying to find a new home for the Dane. There's a family interested in her, but they live a bit far away, and we haven't found an opportunity to introduce them to the Dane.

I'm not actually interested in doing anything more to make the dogs fit in with my family better. I'm exhausted and overwhelmed already. The dogs are supposed to be my DH's responsibility, not mine. But, he can't or won't deal with them. So, no more dogs for us once these are gone.
post #47 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by SuzyLee View Post

I know it is hard for some die-hard dog lovers to get it
No, trust us, we get it. We've all got kids and we've all got huge demands on our time. But it hurts my heart to see people hating their dogs for things that are so ridiculously solvable--at their hearts, in terms of what they need, dogs are very simple creatures; meet those needs and they are generally a joy to live with. And they are living creatures, extremely intelligent living creatures, who are tortured when they cannot live with their pack (their family).

The person who wrote that the answers for dogs are often the same as for toddlers was very correct. The dog is dirty? No duh. You would be too if you never got bathed; bathe the dog! The dog sheds? Switch his diet and GROOM! The dog chews things? He's bored, probably desperately bored. Exercise (this is the huge piece missing from most dogs' lives), provide better toys. The dog is nuts inside the house? It's because he's so desperately overjoyed to be in the house because he's been tortured living outside and alone. Move him inside, get him a crate or a safe room, exercise him.

MDC is all about empowering moms to do better for their families--this is where you've GOT to get empowered to put these relatively easy things into place to make your dog a lovely animal to be with.

It isn't a money thing; it isn't a training thing; it's a respect thing--on both sides. You become the type of owner that makes the dog act in respectful ways--such as not charging through doors, not taking your food or the kids' food, not being obnoxious--and you respect the dog for what he or she is, a climax predator who MUST be inside with his or her pack and whose body was built to go 20 miles a day. Every dog, from pug to poodle, is like owning Lance Armstrong or Laird Hamilton. If you put Lance and Laird in your living room, fed them hamburger helper every meal, and let them walk around your block once a day, pretty soon they would dismantle your living room and build a stairclimber and a treadmill from your drywall and your couch.

That's exactly what dogs do. They wake up every morning with an evolutionary need to travel long distances and work for meat, bone, and blood, but we get furious at them when they build treadmills (eat the couch, dig through the linoleum) and work for their food (open cupboards, steal bread), and we feed them crap and don't give them what they need to stay healthy.

Again, nobody has to be in love with their dog. But what I am reading, over and over, is not that you hate your dog; you hate the static that surrounds a bored and uncared-for dog. You, ANYONE, *can* remove that static; it's not "real" and it's not the normal personality of your dog.
post #48 of 106
I understand. We spent a long time retraining our doxie. He had developed severe separation anxiety and literally destroyed the flooring in almost every room of our new house. And many other destructive behaviors. I now enjoy him again, but it wasn't overnight.


I have also come to realize that despite having a dog my entire life, I am not a dog person, I much prefer cats. The problem being that DH can not stand cats.
post #49 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by lotusdebi View Post
I have a Great Dane and an English Mastiff. The Mastiff's not doing so well, so we're pretty much waiting for him to die. We're trying to find a new home for the Dane. There's a family interested in her, but they live a bit far away, and we haven't found an opportunity to introduce them to the Dane.
OK, tell me about the Dane. I know a lot of people in the mid-atlantic rescue and I can get you in touch with the right sources. One of my show puppies lived with a MAGDRL volunteer and she's in Maryland. You'd be a lot better off giving her to rescue than finding somebody who has not been pre-screened.
post #50 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by maliceinwonderland View Post
No one believes me, but my cat is a total jerk.
This made me almost snort oatmeal out my nose. Man, I'm still cracking up.

I believe you.. My cat Tennyson can be a jerk too.

I still love him... but some days.....
post #51 of 106
Joanna, great post.
post #52 of 106
Joanna, I read your "How to Choose a Family Dog" link. That's wonderful advice and I wish more people would read that and really GET it before they go out and get the cutest, cheapest puppy they can find.

My friend is considering getting a boarder collie. That's one of those super smart, lively dogs, isn't it? I might give her that document. She's got two kids and a busy life, though she is a SAHM, so she does have a little more time to devote to training.

We had two dogs before we found our present perfect dog. Funnily enough I bought them both a couple of months before I got pregnant with each of our two kids. Both had wonderful potential but I didn't have the know-how, patience or commitment to make them good pets.

This third one is PERFECT for me and my family. I got him from a English Springer Spaniel rescue group. He was maybe three years old, in good health, already house trained. He's easy-going (I can't tell you how important that is), sweet and affectionate and fits perfectly with our medium-low energy family. He barks at strangers (big, impressive bark!) but has never bitten anyone.

The down side: he had severe separation anxiety when we got him. Understandable. He'd been through a lot. He was on anti anxiety meds for a few months, which helped immensely. He loves banana bread and apple pie (guess how I know!). So now I know to never, ever leave food in sight when we leave.
post #53 of 106
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by thekimballs View Post

Again, nobody has to be in love with their dog. But what I am reading, over and over, is not that you hate your dog; you hate the static that surrounds a bored and uncared-for dog. You, ANYONE, *can* remove that static; it's not "real" and it's not the normal personality of your dog.
I do not hate my dog nor is my dog bored or uncared for. That is quite the assumption.
post #54 of 106
I think part of Joanna's point may be that a dog that acts the way you describe yours acting isn't getting something s/he needs.
post #55 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by amcal View Post
I do not hate my dog nor is my dog bored or uncared for. That is quite the assumption.
I am sorry. You can't stand her and you dislike her so much that she's turned you against all dogs ever again in your whole life. I was typing fast, I guess.

How much exercise does she get a day--straight-line, walking or trotting exercise? Because all the behaviors you've been describing are the behaviors of a critically bored dog.
post #56 of 106
Quote:
Originally Posted by avengingophelia View Post
Joanna, great post.
:

And, us "dog people" and "animal people" we get it. Those of us who frequent the pets forum and are into our animals also realize to that for a lot of people once kids arrive in the picture there can be a temporary time where negative feelings creep up about any pet because responsiblity for a pet in that case can cause stress.

And, btw I'm not a dog person. I would never purposefully get a dog because of the lifestyle I lead. I have three kiddos, one on the way and a dog living with me would not consistently get the exercise and training that it needed to be a good dog. Not because I don't know how to do it, but with everything else going on in my life it would be virtually impossible. I am a cat person, though my cats are higher maintenance than most, I absolutely adore them and they give me so much love and companionship with little effort on my part. Even better, I can bathe and groom them when I have the time, when I want to. And, of course, I don't need to leave the house to groom them, and they don't have to be let outside to do their business.

I'm not against rehoming either. If you've got a pet, that you're not devoting enough time to, and not appreciating it is possible to rehome to a much better situation for that pet. Of course, you have to be very particular about this, screening the people. Often rescue groups are excellent in that situation.

My brother had a dog which would have done so well in another home. Everyone always felt bad for the dog, but they didn't find a new home for him because "the kids liked him", etc. They got him as a puppy when their first DC was two months old. He rarely got any exercise. They wound up keeping him either outside, or in the garage. The dog would go bezerk and jump on people, he was always crazy hyper when he was let in the house. That dog wanted to be with his family. Even my parents at the time suggested that they find another home for him. But, for about 6 or 7 years he was kept that way. Then, a bulge developed on his leg and my brother had him euthanized. Living in the garage or backyard wasn't a life for that dog. And, I know what a good, friendly and lovable dog he could be. We watched him for nearly 5 days before we had kids. The supposed unwalkable, hyper dog did awesome when he was with us. Same with my sister, she had another dog and when she watched him they did well with them. She would have taken him in if they had let her. He craved attention, and when he got attention and direction he was so well behaved.
post #57 of 106
Thread Starter 
Right now she doesn't get a tremendous amount of exercise. I'm in the Phoenix area and it's very, very hot. It can still be over 100 degrees at 10:00 at night and the concrete is still very hot. Too hot for the dog to comfortably walk. We have tried and she strains and runs for the front door - and she does love walks so I know it is too hot for her - I can't even walk out there with bare feet without burning my feet.

We don't have a pool but it wouldn't matter - I have the only lab in the history of the world who hates water. She will nearly rip my arm off to get away if we are walking and there is water anywhere near her.

I do try to get my mom's dog as often as I can. Mom's dog and my dog play and run and it wears my dog out. They tear up my house but, it's so worth it because it wears them out.

Other than that, my kids play with the dog inside - the toss the ball up and down the stairs and she chases it and chases the kids.

Edited to add that this behavior occurs no matter what her exercise level.
post #58 of 106
oh, I have days when I don't like my pet. Like, when it pukes. I really don't like it those days.
post #59 of 106
Quote:
Every dog, from pug to poodle, is like owning Lance Armstrong or Laird Hamilton. If you put Lance and Laird in your living room, fed them hamburger helper every meal, and let them walk around your block once a day, pretty soon they would dismantle your living room and build a stairclimber and a treadmill from your drywall and your couch.
This cracked me up.

I had a friend tell me once that I didn't want a dog, I wanted a dog carcass to rot on my couch. That's pretty much why I don't have a dog.
post #60 of 106
There is one way to avoid the Lance Armstrong dog, IME. Adopt an elderly dog. THen you may indeed get your desired couch carcass.
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